“What about me?”
My turn to smirk at him. “You said you wanted to fuck me in about twenty different positions before the chicken finished cooking.”
“Then I guess we’d better get started.” He laces his fingers behind his head and smiles up at me.
I know what he wants. As weird as it sounds, one thing I’ve been reluctant to do is ride him. I feel self-conscious when Susa’s there. I know once I’ve done it a few times it’ll be like every other step of this journey and become no big deal. But the first time he was going to have me do it, he seemed to sense my hesitation and made it look like he’d changed his mind and wanted me on my back. At the time, I thought maybe it was just a coincidence.
But as he smiles up at me, I’m certain now that it wasn’t.
“Bastard,” I playfully mutter as I reach for the nightstand, where we keep condoms and lube on hand in the drawer there. That first time he fucked me, he did it bare. Later, he admitted it was because he wanted to mark me like that. Usually, he uses condoms with me or Susa when he fucks our asses, as a matter of logistics.
When I belatedly realized I wasn’t using condoms with Susa, they calmed me by telling me she’s on the pill.
“Bastardextraordinaire,” he reminds me as I grab a condom pouch and the lube.
“Got that right.”
I sheathe him and use plenty of lube, because that’s for my benefit. He finally moves his hands, skimming them down my thighs as I straddle him. His gaze on me nearly has physical weight and substance, intense, and I pause.
Hewantsme.
This isn’t just a game to him, or fun, or even sex.
He’s never pushed me away.
Maybe he can be a bastard, but truth be told, that’s one of his charms.
The more we do this, the more I realize that when he looks at me likethat, it’s pure hunger in his gaze.
“What’s wrong?” he asks.
I shake my head. “Nothing. Not a damn thing.”
Fuck my mother, fuck what people think, fuck everyone.
I never wanted to live my life in a miserable closet, pretending I was someone I’m not.
I never counted on Carter and Susa. It also means I only need to pretend some of the time. When I’m alone with them, I can be exactly who I am, and it’s all they expect me to be.
I don’t have to pretend for them or around them.
His hands glide up, over my abs, back down to my cock which, of course, is already twitching again with renewed interest.
I suppose there will be a day when we’re not going after each other every time we turn around, but today is not that day.
Leaning in, I kiss him and love the feel of his hand tangling in my hair and holding me in place. I reach behind me and find his cock, taking my time as I savor the kiss and line things up. When I press back, he swallows every groan I make, adding a few of his own to the mix. His fingers dig into my head while the sharp intake of breath from him tells me he’s mine in this moment.
Not Susa’s—mine.
This moment seems to freeze as we kiss. Meanwhile, I cage his head with my hands braced on the bed and slowly take him in.
“Fuck yeah, baby,” he breathes against me. “Fuck me.”
Somewhere in my head and heart, everything got mixed up and turned around and perfection fell into my lap. He gave me what I never really knew I needed, much less thought I could even have in the first place.
He took away what I thought I needed in my life and showed me the truth behind the lies.
Taking my time, I ride him slowly, wanting this to last. “Number one,” I joke as I sit up.
