Elijah acted like he was sketchy about kissing me with my makeup on, but he couldn’t resist temptation. “I guess it doesn’t matter if you get any of the goop on me since you’ll be painting my face next.” Vanessa snorted and I knew her mind had headed straight to the gutter.
“Did you have trouble finding what I needed from the state liquor store in Goodville?”
“That was an extensive list of liquor,” Elijah said, eyeing the feminine hygiene products on the vanity. “Um, has something happened?”
“The best thing ever,” I said, clapping my hands. “I’m having a period.”
“I’ll just head to the other bathroom to start getting ready so you guys can talk.”
Elijah blinked a few times before he said, “This is a good thing? We’re happy?”
“Deliriously so,” I assured him. “This means I am truly ovulating. My egg wasn’t fertilized so I had a period. This is normal and healthy and good.” Elijah held me tight and rocked me back and forth. “Don’t worry, Pooh Bear, there’s nothing wrong with my hand or mouth.”
Elijah snorted. “Maegan, I may be on you like a bee on honey, but it doesn’t mean I can’t get by for a few days while your body does its thing. I’m not really a savage beast; I just growl and thump my chest like one.”
“Fuck like one too,” I reminded him.
“So, you called Van to bring you some girlie items, huh? You could’ve called me, and I would’ve stopped at the drug store and picked up what you needed. I probably would’ve needed you to send me a picture of what I was supposed to get.”
“You would do that for me?”
“Freckles, I’m not one of those idiots who thinks his dick will shrivel up and fall off if he touches a box of tampons. I’m very comfortable in my masculinity. Expecting you to leave the house to pick things up when I’m already out is a dick move. Rule number one: Love your dick without being a dick.”
I snorted. “I don’t think I’ve heard you say that before, but it’s very catchy.”
“Thank you, Freckles.” He kissed the tip of my nose even though I had white costume makeup spread over it. “Ready to continue our transformations?”
Elijah and I decided to change our costumes to Frankenstein and the Bride of Frankenstein and created cute “save the date” cards to hand to our guests letting them know we were getting married on May 18th. We’d send formal invitations later, but this was a fun way to announce our wedding date.
I was thrilled when Elijah’s family arrived, and we could officially introduce our families. Jack and Brenda were dressed as the Scarecrow and Dorothy fromWizard of Oz.Jack Jr. and Daphne were dressed as Fred and Daphne fromScooby Doo.I’d hoped they would bring Isaac and Will but understood they needed a night out without the kids. My parents were dressed as Sandy and Danny from the closing scene inGrease. Elijah’s dad took one look at Milo and Andy dressed up as Elly May Clampett and Jethro Bodine fromThe Beverly Hillbilliesand about lost it.
“We’ve decided on a wedding date,” Elijah said once we had our families in front of us. “I tried to get Maegan to marry me next month when we fly west to film the final segment forThe Paranormal Whisperer,but she wouldn’t agree to it. Something to do with our mothers killing us.”
“She’s a very wise woman,” Brenda said to her son.
Elijah reached into his pocket and pulled out the stack of Save the Date business cards we printed. “The eighteenth of May and not a day later.”
Milo and Andy looked at each other and burst into laughter.
“What?” I asked even though I already knew. “There’s no way you picked the same weekend.”
“March was too cold and unpredictable,” Andy said.
“April has too much rain,” Milo added.
“May is just right,” Elijah said, sounding like Goldilocks. “We had a very similar conversation.”
“Well, we can move our date,” Milo said gallantly. “It seems like I do everything before Maegan does, so I should let her have this one thing.”
“Milo,” I growled.
“What? It’s true. I was born first, hit puberty first, lost my…umlibrarycard first, and got engaged first.”
“You have such a swelled head it’s a wonder you fit through the door,” I teased.
“Hey, my swelled head stretched out Mom’s baby chute so you could have an easier delivery. My head is misshapen from being stuck in the birth canal while yours is perfectly round. You’re welcome.”
“Milo!” Mom admonished. “We’ve only known the Markhams for ten minutes. Maybe you wait a good thirty minutes before you bring up your glorious delivery.”
