“Nothing drastic.”
“Your sodium levels are a bit high, potassium looks to be a little low, but other than that everything looks really good. Your blood counts look wonderful, so I’m confident you don’t have so much as an infection right now. Are you in any physical pain?”
“Pain? No. My breasts feel achy and tender though.”
“Like you’re ovulating?”
It felt like she’d stabbed me in the heart. “It’s been so long I can’t remember, but I don’t recall breast pain or tenderness. Besides,” I said, releasing a shaky breath, “that’s not really a concern I would have now.”
“Says who?”
“The doctors who told my parents I’d never have children,” I said slowly.
She got a screwed-up look on her face as she clicked the mouse, typed, and looked at the information on her screen.
“My chemo drugs threw me into menopause when I was seventeen,” I told her. “The doctors told my mom it meant my ovaries were no longer functioning.”
Dr. Lovett sighed. “Thank goodness we’ve come a long way in the past thirteen years. Maegan, while I don’t doubt the chemotherapy threw you into menopause, it is not uncommon for ovaries to start working again years later. There are a lot of factors to consider when telling a young lady she might never have children. The first thing is knowing which chemo drugs cause permanent infertility and which ones lessen or delay your ability to have kids. The second thing is the age and overall health of the patient prior to treatment. You were a healthy, vital, seventeen-year-old young lady. The drugs you took back then were newer, and the long-term data wasn’t available. I think it’s quite possible your ovaries are at least partially functioning.”
“What?” I asked in shock. “You mean… I could be pregnant? I haven’t taken birth control all these years. I mean, until Elijah, I never had unprotected sex, but… Oh my God. Is that really a possibility?”
“Well, it very well could be, so I’m going to hand you a little cup in a minute to see if that’s the case. If not, I’m going to run additional tests on the blood we withdrew to see if there’s estrogen in your blood. If so, I’m going to recommend you see your gynecologist. There are many places you could fall on the spectrum between fertile and infertile, and I don’t want to give you bad advice. Okay?” I nodded. “I won’t have the estrogen results today, but I will have them back by tomorrow evening. I’ll call you.” I nodded again because speaking was beyond my capability. “Time to pee in a cup.” Dr. Lovett reached into a drawer and pulled out the plastic cup and sanitizing wipes.
My hand shook so bad when I accepted it from her, and I nearly dropped the cup in the toilet when I sat down to give the sample. I managed to pull myself together while waiting for the results.
“Well, I don’t know if this is good or bad news, but you are not pregnant at this moment.”
“A bit of both,” I said honestly. “I want very much to have a baby, but I want to plan and prepare for the pregnancy.”
“Maegan, if you don’t want an unplanned pregnancy, I would err on the side of caution and use condoms until we know exactly what’s going on with your body.”
“Yes, that makes sense.” Elijah wasn’t going to like it, but he’d do what was best for me. Then it dawned on me I’d need to confess about my doctor visit, and he would be upset I kept my fears a secret from him. That was much worse than a thin layer of latex between us. He’d see my silence as lack of trust and wouldn’t appreciate my attempt to save him from worrying needlessly. If the situation were reversed, I’d feel the same way. “I look forward to hearing from you tomorrow.”
I can’t remember much about the drive back to Blissville besides stopping at a pharmacy two towns over to buy magnum condoms. My fog evaporated when I got back into town because I couldn’t allow myself to get my hopes up and daydream about things that might never happen, especially since Books and Brew was hosting my favorite event of the year.
I arrived in plenty of time to avoid suspicion about my afternoon activities. I put on my favorite friendly witch costume and made sure everything was set up in the three distinct areas for our Halloween celebration.
“Hello,” Milo said in his Mrs. Doubtfire voice. I turned around and sure enough, he’d chosen to dress as the lovable movie character for his part in the festivities. “Are we ready, my dear?” Even though he was missing his usual night to perform as Peach, he still got to dress up and have fun.
Our Books, Brew, and Boo Bash kept growing in popularity to the point we needed to think about renting a bigger space in the future. It started out with about five kids, and we were now pushing seventy-five precocious kids ranging in age from two to thirteen. They dressed in costume, and we broke them up into categories by age so we could make sure we provided age-appropriate snacks and games. Each age group was given a Halloween-themed book that Milo or I read to them while they enjoyed their snack. Moms and dads who also attended in costume received a free beverage and a pastry. It was a fun night for everyone.
I looked up as Elijah’s boss came through the door with his five kids. At least, I thought it was Gabe under the Captain America costume. I knew damn well Josh picked that out for him because he must call Gabe a dozen or more nicknames, all of them starting with the word captain. “Hey, guys,” he said, looking a little frazzled.
“Where’s your husband, Gabe?” I asked. “He left you to wrestle five kids into their costumes all by yourself?”
“Of course not,” Josh said, entering the store with flare. Josh, continuing with the superhero theme had dressed as The Flash. “There’s no way I’d miss Darius, Mateo, and Rochelle’s first Halloween party as members of our family.” Darius was dressed as T’Challa from Black Panther, Mateo was dressed as Superman, sweet Rochelle was rocking a Wonder Woman costume, and Dylan and Destiny were dressed as the Wonder Twins. It was clear the family didn’t have an allegiance to either DC Comics or Marvel, which I found endearing. They liked what they liked. Josh looped his arm around my neck and hugged me. “Thank you so much for altering our reservation from two kids to five. I had no idea we’d be expanding our family this quickly when we decided to adopt again.”
“It’s my pleasure,” I said sincerely. “Besides, no one messes with The Hairfather.”
Josh threw his head back and laughed. “I’m going to put that on my business cards.”
“Are things going well?” I asked, noting the tired look in his eyes.
“As well as can be expected,” he replied. “Three kids basically have been thrust into a home full of strangers. Rochelle doesn’t want to be separated from Darius for any reason, so school mornings are interesting to say the least. Then there’s the nightmares—” He broke off and swallowed hard. “I hate humanity sometimes, Mae.” Darius looked up and smiled at something Gabe said to the five of them. “But then that happens, and I know those kids are exactly where they are wanted and needed.”
“Yes, they are.”
More kids and their parents were arriving, so we started to divide them into age groups. I glanced up when Elijah walked through the door wearing a thunderous expression while he searched the room for me. Had he somehow found out about my doctor appointment? No, it wasn’t possible, so something else must’ve upset him.
