“I’m assuming Elvis is a rooster. I bet the neighbors don’t like him.”
Adrian snorted. “We were surprised to discover the chicks we bought included a rooster. The fat bastard is too lazy to get up early. He doesn’t start cock-a-doodling until the sun goes down.”
“You can’t be serious.”
“I’m serious as a heart attack, partner. He sleeps for twenty hours a day then struts about, eats, and shits before he starts making a racket at sundown. I’m telling you those hens eat it up too. They carry on and make a huge racket when he struts around in his separate pen. I don’t speak chicken, but I’m pretty sure they’re fighting over him.”
“Stop it,” I said, wiping tears from my eyes. “‘Speak chicken.’”
“My life has become a crazy zoo, and it would get even wilder if I let Sally Ann have the goats she wants.”
“Goats?”
“Oh yeah. Goat milk is huge. They put the stuff in everything these days. Marabel uses goat’s milk in many of the products she sells. I guess Marabel is having issues with her milk supplier, so Sally Ann had the bright ideawe,” Adrian gave me a knowing smirk, “meaningIwould raise goats and supply Marabel with the milk she needs for her store in exchange for goods.”
“Blissville is turning intoLittle House on the Prairie. Soon everyone will be trying to pay for things with their chickens.”
“It happened to Kyle last week at his animal hospital.”
“Get out of here, Adrian,” I said.
“Man, I’m not joking. It’s the same little lady who’s reported them stolen.”
“Are you sure she didn’t barter them for goods or services and forget about it?” I asked.
“I might believe it if three other people hadn’t reported their chickens missing in the last week.”
“Well, it has been a little dull around here lately.”
“I’m grateful it’s stolen chickens and not another dead body,” Adrian said.
“Well, we hope the chickens haven’t been harmed, but we don’t know that yet.”
“Bite your tongue. I don’t want to tell little old ladies their chickens were snatched and killed.”
“Do we have coyotes in the surrounding areas?” I asked. “Are there signs of a struggle? Excess feathers on the ground or blood?”
“Not that I’m aware of, but then again, I just heard about this from Officer Simanski.”
“Joey’s taken the previous reports?”
“Yeah, and he decided to bring it to my attention after Mrs. Blankenbauer’s call came in this morning.”
“Adrian, how is it possible we haven’t heard about this before now? Last week, I heard about Betsy Watson getting caught sneaking away from Trevor Honeywell’s house at seven in the morning when I was waiting in line at Books and Brew for coffee and pastries at ten after seven.”
“Maegan makes you wait in line?” Adrian asked.
“You’re missing the point.”
“Whatisthe point?”
“The point is it became public knowledge ten minutes after Betsy slinked away.”
“I see what you mean. I don’t know why Joey didn’t realize we had a serial chicken snatcher on our hands,” Adrian said, pulling in front of a yellow Cape Cod house with light blue shutters. “We need to act fast, partner. My wife and kids will lose their minds if someone snatches Elvis, Aretha, Patsy, and Gaga.”
“We’ll get to the bottom of this,” I assured him.
“Then you’re going to tell me all about the conversation you had with Gabe.”
