Jack released a shaky breath. “I apologize for the horrific way I treated you. I have no excuse for what I did; therefore, I won’t be making any. What I did was—”
“Jack, I need you to say out loud and acknowledge exactly what you did to me. Otherwise, you could be talking about the time you took the tires off my bike so I couldn’t compete against you in the bike race in elementary school.”
Jack snorted. “It hurts so much to even remember what I did, let alone say it out loud, but you’re absolutely right.” He sat straighter and looked me square in the eyes. “Elijah, I am sorry I had an affair with Brandy while you were overseas. There is no excuse for disrespecting you and destroying the trust you placed in me when you asked me to look after her while you were gone. I take full responsibility for the affair and everything that happened afterward.”
I had the urge to snipe “how big of you,” but I breathed through the kneejerk reaction. Dad was right. I did miss my family, and although it felt like scaling a mountain would be easier than patching my relationship with Jack, we were offering one another a foothold toward a better future. Instead of a snappy comeback, I said, “All of the responsibility doesn’t land on your shoulders, Jack. Brandy chose to have sex with you, so she equally shares the blame and shame. I just need to find a way to consign what happened to my past and try to forge a new relationship with you as part of my future.”
Jack’s lip trembled, and he briefly looked away. “I don’t deserve it. My therapist says people can earn forgiveness, but I don’t see how. Not in this case, anyway.” I tried to hide my shock at hearing Jack had sought counseling. “I not only broke your heart and destroyed your spirit and self-worth, I nearly ruined our parents’ marriage. They fought all the fucking time.” Jack’s eyes widened when he remembered where we were and the language he used. “The next few years were both the worst and happiest of my life.”
“Your kids,” I said softly.
He nodded. “They’re my whole world and proof beautiful things can come from horrible deeds. Then again, I gave my children a mother who can’t be bothered with them. I feel like they’re paying for my sins, and it kills me. Things got really dark for me a few years ago, and I thought everyone would be better if I was gone. I knew Mom and Dad would do a much better job of raising Isaac and Will than I ever could.” Tears flowed freely from his eyes, and all I wanted to do right then was stop him from saying anything else. Just the thought of Jack harming himself was enough to make me physically ill and sever the last threads of resentment I’d clung to.
“Jack—”
“I need to come clean, no matter how hard it is for me to say or you to hear.” I nodded. “I tried drowning my despair in alcohol, and when it no longer worked, I decided to turn to pills. Then, one night, Will spiked a really high fever and needed to go to the hospital. I was a fucking loser, but I wasn’t so far gone I’d put my kids in the car and risk their lives. I had the good sense to call Mom to come get us. The nurse on duty took one look at me and hated my guts. I just knew she was going to report me to children services and I’d lose my only reason for living, so I followed her out into the corridor after she assessed Will. I promised her I’d check myself into rehab the next day. I could see she wanted to believe me, but her life experiences told her I couldn’t be trusted. I begged her for a chance. She finally looked at me and gave me an ultimatum. She would make arrangements for me at a facility she trusted right then and there. I could either show up the next day or she’d file a report with children’s services, so I went to rehab.”
“The nurse saved your life,” I said to Jack.
“She restored my faith in people and healed my broken heart too.”
“Ah, the nurse is Daphne.” She seemed to have a nurturing personality, and I wasn’t surprised to learn she was a nurse.
“I didn’t tell you any of this to try to sway you, but I wanted you to know everything just in case we could…”
“Start over?” I asked.
Jack nodded. “There’s no possible way to go back and change things, so the only way is—”
“Forward,” I said, recalling our father’s words. “I’d like to try, Jack. We’ll start with family suppers and see where things go. I’d like to get to know Daphne better and meet Will and Isaac.”
“Do you mean it, Elijah? I worried you’d only see them as a painful reminder of the things I did to you.”
“They’re innocent children. I could never blame them.”
I did the only thing that felt right, I opened my arms and hugged my brother. Jack sobbed against my shoulder while silent tears slid down my face. Once we regained our composure, we left the chapel and went in search of chamomile tea for Mom while Jack entertained me with stories about his ten-year-old and seven-year-old sons. They sounded every bit as ornery as we were at their age.
The ladies looked up anxiously when we returned but smiled when they saw our relaxed expressions. Of course, our swollen and red-rimmed eyes gave away that our conversation wasn’t an easy one.
“Hiya, Freckles,” I said, holding her tight against my chest after handing Mom her tea. “Miss me?”
“Always.” She searched my eyes to make sure I was truly okay. She must’ve liked what she saw because she blessed me with one of her beautiful smiles.
It felt like we sat there for days instead of hours as we waited for the pager to go off again to let us know Dad was in recovery and the surgeon would be meeting with us. We crowded in the small consultation room and listened as Dr. Chen explained the surgery had gone well, but not entirely without complications. He assured us Dad was awake in the recovery room and we would get to see him soon.
It took another hour before we were led back to his recovery room. Dad opened his eyes when we walked in, and he cracked a tired smile. “I told you, Brenda.” He looked at where I stood next to Jack, and he must’ve been able to read the situation even though I suspected he was still buzzing high from anesthesia.
“I’ve finally got my boys,” he said.
Jack and I smiled at each other as we both gained a higher foothold on the climb to a happier future.
“IS EVERYONE READY TO DOthis?” Vanessa asked, standing before us wearing a pair of faded denim overalls over a white tank top, showing off her toned arms and vibrant tattoos. She brandished a dry paint brush around like a sword. “You all know the rules.”
“Pay fucking attention to the numbers in the mural and match them up to the ones on the paint cans,” Candace said dryly.
“Excellent start. What else?”
“Don’t fuck it up,” Violet suggested.
