“It happens a lot, Freckles. I just never thought Brandy would do that to me.” Elijah shook his head like he still couldn’t believe it. “Imagine the horror of finding my wife pregnant with my brother’s baby when I returned home. It not only destroyed my relationship with my brother and father, but has made my mom’s life hell.”
“I’m so sorry, Elijah.” I knew it had to be hard when your man went off to war, but on what planet was that an acceptable way to treat someone? “You do realize that their behavior is a reflection on their character, not your worth. Please tell me that you know that.”
Elijah nodded slowly. “It’s a recent epiphany.” A slow smile crept across his face. “Sitting here with you makes me glad that I wasn’t ready to trust again until now. I’m sure I met some real nice girls over the past ten years, but not a single one of them made me want to tear down the walls I built around my heart until you.”
“Me?” I asked pointing to my chest.
“You, Freckles.” He reached for my hand and brought it to his mouth. “You’re genuine and honest, loving, and so loyal to those you love. You keep a man on his toes without using manipulation to accomplish it. You make me want to believe in forever again.”
“Wow.” Hearing that was sweeter than any three-worded declaration.
“You wow the hell out of me, and I can’t believe that you’re still single. How the hell is that possible? That loser Clayton couldn’t be the only guy in this town interested in you.”
I’d already told Elijah about my biggest hang-up, but it was time I told him the entire story. “I told you that I couldn’t have kids, but I didn’t tell you why.” I released a shaky breath. “When I was seventeen, I developed a large bruise on my leg. At first, I thought I got it from playing soccer, but couldn’t recall an incident that would have caused it. Then it wouldn’t go away. I started feeling run-down and weak, so my mom took me to the doctor. They thought it was mono, but decided to do a blood panel to be sure nothing more serious was going on. I had leukemia, Elijah.”
“I’m sorry, Freckles.” He ran his hand over my hair again, then pulled me to him for a kiss.
“It was horrible, and I pray every night that I never know sickness like that ever again.” I offered him a smile because he looked so miserable on my behalf. “I wouldn’t trade the experience for the world though. Um, prior to that, my mother and I fought constantly. Nothing I did seemed good enough and I felt like she wanted me to be someone I wasn’t. That all changed when I got sick. She just wanted me to be healthy. She said it over and over, sometimes when she wasn’t aware that I heard her.” I took a deep, shaky breath so I wouldn’t cry. “I never want to put my parents and Milo through that kind of pain again. I used to think that not being able to have children was the end of the world. I think that the sting will always be there, but you helped me realize that I can have the life I’ve always wanted. I just have to go about it in a different way.”
“Did some dickhead say that you weren’t good enough because you couldn’t have kids?” he asked me.
“Not directly to my face, but there were whispers and rumors.” He looked like he was ready to rough someone up, so I covered his hands with my own. “You weren’t the only one with a recent epiphany. Maybe some of the guys I dated would’ve been okay with adopting kids, but I wasn’t willing to take a chance to find out.”
“Maegan, I’m beyond rusty at dating since I spent the last ten years trying to avoid it. I’m going to fuck up, piss you off, and probably drive you nuts at times, but I’m hoping that you’ll take a chance on me.”
“Well, how could I refuse with a ringing endorsement like that?” I asked. “I have one favor to ask.”
“Name it.”
“Please don’t start treating me like I’m made of fragile glass. Never stop dirty talking to me either. God, Elijah, it makes me crazy and melts my insides.”
“Yeah?” he asked eagerly. “You’re going to regret telling me that.”
“No, I don’t think that I will.” I smiled ruefully. “There’s a saying that men want a lady in their parlors and a harlot in their beds. I don’t think women are all that different. I like a gentleman in the parlor and a filthy-mouthed man in my bed.”
“Really?” Elijah didn’t sound too sure.
“I’m sure there are some women who won’t agree with me, but we don’t care about what pleases them. I prefer to hear all the things you want to do with my tits and cunt.”
Elijah blushed profusely, and I thought perhaps I’d gone too far, but he tossed me over his shoulder and hauled me upstairs to his bedroom where I practiced being his harlot while he put his filthy-fucking-mouth everywhere on my body. We both took what we wanted—immense pleasure from each other’s body. Although neither of us declared love to the other, there was no doubt that there was a deeper connection and meaning in everything we did together.
Much later, Elijah cradled me against him on the couch and told me about his day. I shook hard in his arms when he confirmed that Renzo most likely targeted me as one of his victims. My heart broke for Kayla and Jessica Hansen. I knew that we wouldn’t solve violence with more violence, but I couldn’t imagine the hell that Kayla had lived through. Was I capable of harming someone who hurt Milo or one of my friends like that? Yeah, I thought I could. I hoped like hell that I never had to test the theory though.
“I think it was the first time I hated arresting someone for the crime they committed,” Elijah said.
We sat together for a long time taking comfort from each other without talking. It was nice to know that we didn’t have to fill every second with chit chat. I glanced at the clock on the wall and was surprised at the late hour.
“I need to go home and get some sleep. It’s my turn to open Books and Brew tomorrow morning.”
“Stay here,” Elijah said, tugging on my hand when I got to my feet.
“I can’t. I think it’s best I go back to my own house so that you don’t get sick of me.”
Elijah pinned me with a dark look. “That’s not likely to happen, but you should probably make me court you properly.”
“Court me?”
“What’s wrong with that term?” he asked.
