“What has you looking so serious?” I asked, although I already knew. He told me that Justin used any excuse to call, text, or email him. I wanted Noah to tell him that he was mine and to back off. I understood that Noah wanted to talk to him in person, as it had professional ramifications and not just personal ones. Me? I wanted to have a conference call on speakerphone so I could offer my input, but I respected Noah’s decision.
“I’m not looking forward to returning to D.C.” His blunt honestly was so fucking refreshing to me. I smiled as I realized he said “D.C.” and not home. “I’m dreading the showdown with Justin and more than that I’m dreading leaving you.” There it was, the only thing I needed to hear from him. I needed to know that what we were building was important to him too.
“I’m dreading you leaving too, Noah, but we’ll find a way to work it out. I’m not going anywhere this time. I promise.” I sealed my promise with a kiss. We had so much more to talk about, but it would need to wait until we were alone. “I’ve planned a special surprise for us tonight.” His eyes lit up with happiness and I was glad that I put the extra effort into making our last night special.Last night for now, I amended in my mind. “We’ll figure everything out. Together.” I leaned in for one more quick kiss before I went inside to get to work.
Half an hour later, I received a call from Roxie that pulled me and a few others off of Noah’s job for the rest of the afternoon. Old man Peterson jumped a curb at the corner of Main and Elm and crashed into a house. Luckily, Mr. Peterson wasn’t hurt and the house was solid brick, so the structural damage wasn’t as bad as it could’ve been. Still, I worked there all day to make sure everything was safe. I received a call from Mack around midday that they wrapped up at Noah’s.
I stopped by my apartment after work to get cleaned up and pick up the picnic basket of goodies from Betty Jean. She had given me a hug and a kiss on my cheek and wished me a wonderful evening. She would make sure Ozzy got his veggies and told me not to worry or feel bad about living a little bit. I think she sensed the current of sadness that lingered beneath my happiness. I just couldn’t seem to push the uncertainty and melancholy completely away, no matter how hard I tried.
Noah and Madge met me at the front door when I arrived. Instead of going inside, I told Noah to bring Madge and lock up. I held open the passenger door for Noah and then the back door behind him for Madge to jump in my truck. She eyed the picnic basket longingly but seemed happy to settle for hanging her head out the window as I drove us to the marina.
“Do you have a boat?” Noah asked excitedly.
“Mack does and he lets me borrow it.” Madge let out an excited bark, ready to get out of the truck and get her adventure on. “Ready?” Noah’s smile was the only answer I needed.
I grabbed the basket while Noah clipped a leash on Madge until we got onboard Mack’s boat. I started the engine and we set off for a cruise along the coast. Noah came up behind me and wrapped his arms around me while I navigated to our destination.
“I wonder if this was how Elijah preferred to sail with Octavius.” Noah pressed kisses along the back of my neck. We stayed like that until I dropped anchor near the Beaufort Inlet so we could eat dinner.
“This was where Octavius would pull into harbor back then,” I told Noah. I pointed down the beach and could just make out Elijah’s Landing where the coast line turned and jutted out into the ocean. “He would probably see him sail through the inlet from their master bedroom window.”
Noah shivered in my arms. “Return to me.” Noah said softly. “That is what Elijah supposedly said to Tave each time before he sailed out.” He turned into my arms and looked into my eyes. “I used to pray for the same thing with you.” Noah’s voice shook with emotion, but he tried to smile away his sadness. My breath was stuck in my throat from the large lump of emotion lodged there. “It might’ve taken twenty-two years, but here you are.”
“Here I am, and here I will remain.” He wanted to believe me; I saw that in his eyes. I knew right then that I would tell Noah what happened to me after I got caught sneaking back home after a night with him. I owed it to him – to both of us. Not that night. No, I wouldn’t mar a perfect night with the ugliness of my past.
We stayed anchored until the sun went down and then made slow love beneath the stars. I laid with Noah nestled against me for a very long time, the only sound was the waves crashing up against the boat. It was the most peaceful night I had ever spent in my life and I silently vowed to do anything it took to have more of those nights with Noah.
The drive home was quiet and somber, because we knew what the morning would bring – goodbyes and sadness. We woke to make love twice more and shared a long shower in the morning. I wanted every touch and kiss to linger forever, but I knew that wasn’t our reality. Yet.
I helped him carry his luggage to his car, even though it was the last thing I wanted to do. I pulled him to me and held on tight. “Return to me, Noah.” I kissed his lips in front of anybody who happened to be strolling or driving by; I had zero fucks to give.
“I will be back just as soon as I can figure it all out. First, I’ll find out if Justin still wants to work with me once I tell him there’s no chance for him and I to reconnect. If not, I’m going to need to hire another psychiatrist and that won’t be quick or easy. Maverick, we will find a way. I will take long weekends and perhaps you can do the same; D.C. instead of Charlotte,” he said with a smirk. “I know it’s a longer drive, but I promise to make it worth your while.”
Noah inviting me to his home meant more to me than him just saying he’d be back in a few weeks. It showed me that he was serious about us, he wanted me in his life, and that I wasn’t just a fling to him. Then Noah pressed his lips against my ear and I knew what he had to say next was for my ears only. “Do you Skype?”
“I’ve heard of it, but I’ve never used it.”
“Imagine the things we can do while we chat on Skype.” I envisioned him naked on the screen, touching his body while he watched me touch mine.
“Call me tonight and tell me what the fuck I need to do to set it up.” Did I sound too eager? Fuck it if I did. I was too goddamned old to play games and act like Noah driving away didn’t cut me deep. It was too soon to tell him that I loved him. The teenager inside me still loved the teenager inside of him, but now it was time for the men to fall in love with each other. I didn’t want to rush things and then wonder if his feelings were genuine or just nostalgia.
“I better get going or I won’t.” Noah pressed his lips to mine once more and I backed away so he could get into the car. Madge was already inside waiting for him with her head hanging out the passenger side door.
“Drive careful and call me when you arrive.”
“I will.”
Watching him pull away was a burning agony. It reminded me of the night my dad drove our family out of Beaufort as if the devil himself was chasing us. It took me many years to get beyond what he did to me, but I had. I refused to let worry and fear drag me back down now that I had found Noah again.
“Return to me,” I said to Noah’s disappearing car.
