“Ben ought to know,” Chase said snarkily, then gasped at what he’d just told Xavier. I listened as Xavier explained that he had known about Ben and me, and it didn’t bother him. I had never told Jag about the one night I’d shared with Ben, and fear of his reaction twisted my guts. I missed the rest of what they said because Jag whipped me around and silently pushed me up against the wall.
“It doesn’t matter,” he whispered as if he could read my mind. “Our pasts are just that—the past.” He lowered his lips and kissed me softly until all my tension melted.
“Miller and JJ, huh?” Chase asked, pulling our attention back to the other men. “Well, they have gotten closer since Gray and I met. They’re kind of thrown together at these things since they’re the only two swinging dicks left. Do you get the impression they’ve been screwing each other for a long time?” It bothered me to hear our relationship described in that way because it had grown into so much more.
“Where’d they go?” Xavier asked, and we realized they had looked outside and noticed we were missing. “Oh man. I bet they’re in here screwing.”
“Let’s have some fun,” Jag whispered in my ear. He tugged me behind him until we had closed ourselves in the bathroom. Jag pushed me against the vanity, and I slammed my hands on the counter to make a thumping noise.
“Ohhh. God that feels so good,” I moaned and groaned like he was really putting it to me. I looked at his reflection in the mirror and saw the wicked gleam in his eyes. He started banging his body against mine for effect.
“You like that? Right there?”
“Fuck yes,” I cried, doing my best porn voice, “but harder, J. I need it harder.” Jag continued to pound away. I tried so hard to remind my body we were only playing around, but my dick started to swell anyway. “J. Oh, fuck! More, baby.”
Jag let out a long groan as if he was coming hard and filling me. Then he put his finger to his lips as he stealthily reached for the door. He turned the knob suddenly and jerked the door open so fast it was amazing Chase and Xavier didn’t fall into the bathroom with us.
“Caught you didn’t we, you little assholes,” I said playfully as I jabbed at Chase’s stomach with my fists.
“You little gossip gays were so busy yapping you didn’t hear us walk in. We stood there listening to you talking about us having sex.” Jag looked at me, then back to the guilty-looking busybodies. “What we are or aren’t doing is our business.”
Jag hooked his arm around Xavier’s neck and pulled him into a headlock then began to give him noogies. Xavier struggled against Jag, and it didn’t dawn on me that he was in distress until he started making panicked noises in the back of his throat.
“What’s going on in here?” Gray said, appearing in the hallway. His voice was full of mischief rather than suspicion, which was a good sign.
“JJ and Miller are trying to talk us into a foursome,” Chase joked. “See? J is trying to pull X into the bathroom.”
“Let go of him, JJ.” Ben had entered the hallway and didn’t like what he saw. Jag immediately let go of Xavier, and I was shocked to see Xavier struggling to pull air into his lungs because Jag hadn’t been holding him that tightly. Ben took Xavier into a loving embrace and asked, “Can we have a private moment please?” He didn’t wait for an answer before he shut the door.
We all stood staring at each other wondering what had just happened. Jag looked mortified that he’d upset Xavier so badly. Xavier’s reaction wasn’t typical, and I could tell by the look in Jag’s eyes he was sympathizing with whatever X was going through. I reached out for his hand and leaned into him for a kiss.
“He’ll be okay. Ben will calm him down, then you can talk to him.” Jag was too upset to reply, but he nodded in acknowledgment. It was then I felt Chase’s and Gray’s eyes on us. Gray looked shocked while Chase stood there smiling at me. “Gray, can we go somewhere and talk privately?”
“Yeah, I think that’s a good idea.” He turned on his heel and left me standing there with Chase and Jag. I kissed Jag once more and patted Chase on the shoulder as I followed my best friend upstairs to their guest bedroom. “How long has this been going on?” he asked as soon as I walked into the room.
“A year.” I factored in the time we’d been having sex before our agreement. I’d been his from the word go.
“A year?” He ran his hands through his hair and looked at me with accusing eyes, but what was he accusing me of exactly? “You’ve been dating for a year, and you didn’t tell me? Why would you keep something like that from me?”
“We’re notdating,” I said, correcting him.
“Fucking then,” Gray countered with a sneer.
“Stop!” I didn’t like Gray’s tone. I took a deep breath to keep my composure. “Jag and I don’t want to label what we have, and we really don’t feel like we owe anyone an explanation. We’re both consenting adults, Gray.”
“Jag?” Gray asked. I gave him a look that let him know I wasn’t going to take any crap from him. “Why the secrecy if neither of you care what others think?”
“I didn’t think you could handle it.” He looked taken aback by my honest answer. “You were convinced Jag was a horrible person who was trying to steal Chase away from you. I didn’t know how long Jag and I would last, and I didn’t think it was worth upsetting you if it turned out to be a brief fling.”
“And now?” Gray had lost his skeptical, judgmental look and tone.
“I care very deeply about him.” I swallowed hard to dislodge the emotional lump that was stuck in my throat. “He’s very important to me and I would appreciate it if you could just accept that I’m happy with the way things are with Jag and support me.”
Gray studied me for a very long time, which had me squirming. I loved Gray with all my heart, but it was nothing close to what I felt for Jag. “I knew you’d fallen in love,” was his response.
“Gray, I…”
“I know love when I see it, Miller. You can run and hide from it, but sooner or later you’ll have to acknowledge it or risk losing it. Say what you will about your no-labels lifestyle, but eventually one or both of you will want some sort of definition on how you feel about one another. You know what?” Gray asked as he hooked his arm around my neck. “It’s all worth it.”
