Chase and Gray decided to only have their brothers stand up beside them during the ceremony. Gray wanted me with him, but if he included his best friend then Chase would’ve wanted to include his best friend too. There was no way in hell Gray would allow Jag to be included in the wedding party.
“This is it,” I said to Gray. Happy tears welled up in his eyes because the day meant so much to him. It was truly a touching moment I was grateful to witness.
“I’m ready.”
One final hug and I left his room to take my seat on the side of the church designated for Gray’s friends and family. I tried to stop myself from looking, but I couldn’t resist seeking Jag’s face in the crowd. He smiled tentatively when our eyes met. I regretted that he hesitated because I knew my stupid rule was the reason. It was something I could easily fix when he came over after the wedding.
The ceremony was beautiful and poignant. I heard so much genuine adoration in their voices and saw such raw emotion on their faces when they exchanged their vows. Tears flowed throughout the church, and I found myself tearing up too. It was hard not to respond in the presence of the genuine love the two men shared.
I stood in line to congratulate the newlyweds and watched as they were hugged by one person after the next. I saw Jag approach the couple and held my breath as he gave Chase a hug and offered his hand to Gray. The air expelled from my lungs in relief when Gray smiled crookedly and shook Jag’s hand.
I watched Jag walk away from the church and wished we were riding to the reception together. I also wished we were sitting at the same table and were free to dance together. I had really messed things up, and my only consolation was that there would be other events where we could dance together in the future.Ifwe had a future.
Jag was seated on the opposite side of the reception from me, with Ava and her husband, while I shared a table with some of the grooms’ work friends, including Ben. I didn’t have to worry about it being awkward with him because he couldn’t take his eyes off Xavier. Toasts were given, and we all watched while Xavier sang and the newlyweds had their first dance.
I made the mistake of looking over at Jag and wished I hadn’t. He watched the couple with an expression that could only be described as longing. The food I had just consumed turned sour in my stomach as I realized Jag hadn’t been honest with me. Hewasstill in love with Chase and would never return my feelings. As unhappy as I felt, I refused to let it show or give in to the urge to drink away my misery. I wouldn’t let him or anyone else see how unhappy I was. Instead, I tried to figure out a way to end things with Jag before I got hurt worse if that was even possible.
I sat alone at my table and watched people celebrate all around me. I thought the only other person not dancing the night away was Jag, but I couldn’t bring myself to look at him again. I didn’t want to see him pining away for another man. I wanted all his focus and emotion aimed at me and was ill-prepared for anything else.
My skin began to itch with irritation over the situation, so I decided to step away for a breath of fresh air. I hadn’t made it very far down the hallway before I heard the echo of shoes on the marble floor, and I knew without turning around that Jag had followed me. A small part of me wanted to speed up and run away from him because I knew I couldn’t resist him once his hands were on my body. The part of me that needed his touch stomped out the sane part, though. My need for Jag won the battle, and I slowed down so he could catch me.
Instead of pushing me through the door to go outside, Jag pushed me into some sort of large cleaning closet. “I need you, Bones.” My heart pinched painfully because it knew he only wanted a physical release.
“Jag, this isn’t the right place. We could get caught.” I threw that out as an excuse not to make a complete fool of myself. Would he take my body and make me beg for him while he pretended I was someone else?Was I truly that desperate to have him at any cost?
“Bones, I’ve gone along with your idiotic decision to hide our relationship. We’ve sat on the sidelines and watched everyone else dance and be happy while we pretended we didn’t want to be in each other’s arms.” Jag walked me backward until I was pushed up against a metal shelving unit that held cleaning supplies.
“That’s not how it looked to me and everyone else out there.” Jag scowled at me in confusion. My heart lurched painfully in my chest, and it felt like it stopped completely before stuttering to a start again. I knew my next words might be the nail in our coffin, but I couldn’t just give in and have sex with him without saying how I felt. “It looked like you couldn’t take your eyes off Chase while they danced. You looked at him with so much longing that it…”
“Don’t.” His reply was practically snarled as he cut me off. “Do not tell me how I feel. I’m so sick and fucking tired of everyone thinking I can’t get over Chase. I already told you I’m not in love with him. What more do you want from me?” As mad as he was, he couldn’t pry his body away from mine, and I couldn’t stop mine from responding to his nearness. “Did you ever think maybe I wished it could be us dancing in front of everyone?”
“No. Why would I think that?” Jag jerked back like I’d hit him, but I refused to back down. “What indication have you given me that you wanted anything more than what we have right now? I thought you were happy with the way things were between us. You don’t believe in love, dating, and sappily ever after.” I threw his words and beliefs back at him.
“Bones.” His voice was pleading, but what did he need me to grasp? “I’m sorry if that’s the impression I gave you and everyone else in that room. If you want me to, I’ll go in there and take the microphone away from the DJ and announce to everyone that I wasn’t pining after Chase but wishing I could dance with you. I don’t want to put a stupid label on what we have because I hate them. I think what we have is amazing and I don’t want to ruin it. I want you, Bones. Just you. I think about you all the time, and I wish we were together when we’re apart. I…”
I didn’t let him say another word because what he’d said was enough. We came together, our mouths meeting halfway. My worries and jealousy dissipated beneath the spark of desire that zipped through my body. My fear of getting caught also vanished, and I found myself lowering his zipper and fondling his erection through the cotton fabric of his briefs. No one had ever made me feel so alive, and I clung to the emotion as if my very life depended on it.
I spun us until Jag’s back was pressed against the shelving and lowered myself to my knees in front of him. I knew how much he loved getting head, and I loved giving it to him. I kept my eyes locked on his so there could be no doubt who was worshipping Jag’s cock with hands, lips, and tongue.
“Bones, I’m not going to last long with you sucking my cock like that…Jesus…so damn good.” I felt him shaking as his body primed to unload into my mouth. I reached between his legs and rolled his firm balls in my hand before I tugged them firmly just how he liked. “Miller.” My name barely passed through his gritted teeth before he released inside my eager mouth. I cleaned him thoroughly before I tucked his softening cock back inside his underwear and zipped him back up. Jag grabbed me under my armpits and pulled me to my feet. “Your turn,” he said before he kissed me.
It didn’t take him long to work me into a frenzy with his mouth and hands once he dropped to his knees to return the favor. I looked down into his brown eyes, and the intimacy of the moment combined with the threat of getting caught had me revved up and unloading on his tongue in record time. I would’ve been embarrassed by how fast I’d come, but the wicked, smug smile on Jag’s lips told me how glad he was that I’d lost control for him.
By the time we righted our clothes and hair, the grooms had already left the reception. I was disappointed I didn’t get a chance to see them off, but I wasn’t sorry for the reason I’d missed them. I said my goodbyes to the others as if I hadn’t just been in a closet getting off with Jag and went home to wait for him to show up.
He didn’t make me wait long, and the sexy gleam in his eyes promised me he was worth it. Jag poured us a glass of champagne from a bottle he’d pilfered from the reception, and we drank while eating cake he’d also helped himself to.How long had we been in that closet?We’d missed the cake cutting and the final send-off.
I hit a button on my remote to start some music, and Frank Sinatra’s “Fly Me to the Moon” began to play. I held out my hand to Jag and said, “Dance with me.”
It was the first time I’d danced with another man. I hadn’t come out to my family until I was in college, so my senior prom date had been a girl who’d also been a very good friend. I never attended any dances in college and hadn’t really had an occasion to dance with another man, not that I would have anyway. Dancing was personal and intimate, which were the exact opposite of the types of encounters I’d wanted until I met Jag. It only seemed fitting that my first dance was with the first guy I’d loved.
It was a moment I knew I’d never forget for as long as I lived. It was obvious Jag cared for me on some level and enjoyed what we had built together, but did he love me? There was only one way to find out. I needed to dig up the courage to ask him. I decided not to bring it up that night because I didn’t want anything to ruin the most perfect evening I’d ever had. I wanted to wait for the right moment when I wasn’t feeling so emotional.
JJ
Ididn’t want to go to Chase and Gray’s Fourth of July party. I was tired of pretending Miller wasn’t someone very special to me. The disappointed pout I couldn’t seem to wipe off my face was going to be mistaken for pining after Chase. Again. The only way people, especially Gray, would get over that notion was for them to realize I had moved on and had feelings for someone else. Chase insisted I come to the party, and everyone knew I was prone to give in to him.
The only things that finally got me motivated to attend was the idea of being around Miller while he wore swim trunks and the possibility of a secret touch or a stolen kiss. The image of our bodies brushing up against each other in the pool sent licks of fire straight to my balls. Hell, we’d had each other in every conceivable way, so I was surprised I was reacting so intensely to the thought of relatively innocent foreplay.
