“You have Xavier,” I reminded him, although I am positive Chase didn’t forget X just because he found out about me.
“He is my brother and no blood test will tell me differently.” Chase ruffled my hair in big brother fashion. “Speaking of Xavier,” Chase said with a mock scowl on his face, “he told me last night when I called him that he had figured out our connection and confronted you about it a week ago. He said you wouldn’t tell me that he already knew to spare him from my anger. I asked him how the hell he figured it out and he said…”
“…we have similar mannerisms that became obvious when we worked side by side at the bar,” I finished for him. “I wasn’t about to throw him under the bus. He wasn’t the one who kept the secret for going on eighteen months.” I looked Chase in the eyes, man to man like he deserved. “I really am sorry for not telling you sooner. It was a really shitty thing to do and my being afraid isn’t an excuse.”
“Breathe, Liam. It’s going to be okay.” Chase held open the door to the restaurant and followed me inside. The hostess showed us to our table and we settled in with garlic buttered rolls while we waited for our server to appear. “Will you start at the beginning?”
“Well, it was on a raining day in May 1991 that I came kicking and screaming into the world. I honestly don’t remember much, but that’s what I was told by my mom.” Chase tilted his head slightly and narrowed his eyes at me. “Sorry,” I said, followed by a short laugh. Not everyone appreciated my sass. “My mom doesn’t talk much about Matthew Rivers. I think he bailed on her during her pregnancy. She met my stepfather, Jamie, who later adopted me when I was about five years old.” I paused as the waiter approached our table and nearly tripped over his tongue when he laid eyes on my brother. The red-faced guy nearly spilled a glass of water on Chase’s crotch and I couldn’t smother my laugh, which earned me another dirty look from my brother.
“Its fine, Ryan,” Chase said, peering at the name tag our server wore. “No harm done.” Chase looked back at me. “Are you ready to order?” I hadn’t even looked at the menu, but neither had Chase so he must have eaten there often enough to have the menu memorized. I gestured for him to order first and then ordered the same thing for myself. “You were saying,” he said once Ryan left our table.
“Anyway, I had never talked to, or interacted with, the man my entire life. He just showed up on our doorstep February of last year and asked to talk to me. He told me he had been diagnosed with a progressive brain cancer and he wanted a chance to tell me he was sorry that he was such a lousy father. He also asked me to find you and pass those words along. Apparently, he didn’t have the courage or the time to tell you himself. He just told me where I could find you and, if nothing else, I had the right to know I had a brother.”
“Wow.” Chase sat back in his chair in a deflated fashion, as if all the air left his body in a whoosh. “I’m not sure how I feel about that.” Chase ran a hand through his blond hair and I felt sorry that my words caused him distress. He asked me and I felt I had to be completely honest; I owed him that. “He made no attempt to speak to me? He didn’t want to apologize directly to me?”
“He said he was running out of time and that he was being admitted into hospice and wouldn’t be leaving. He provided me with your name and how I could find you, so he must have looked you up. It just seems like he ran out of time before he could say goodbye.”
“He just drove up to your house and told you these things?” Chase sounded as incredulous as anyone would be upon hearing this ridiculous tale. “Forgive me, Liam, but it sounds like a soap opera – and not a very good one.”
“He rode in a cab; it stayed running in the driveway while he turned my world upside down. Here was the man I had wondered about my entire life - regardless that my family told me he wasn’t worth my time – apologizing for abandoning me, telling me I had a brother I never knew about, asking me to track said brother down, and pass along his dying apology for being a lousy father. It was frigging surreal.” I shook my head at the memory. I looked at Chase and smiled wryly. “Holy hell, it sounds like one of the movies my mom watches on the man-hater channel.”
“Man-hater channel?” Chase sniggered at my description. “What the hell is that?”
“Just like it sounds, bro.” The nickname just slipped out, but it came natural to me. Chase smiled widely in acceptance. “It’s this channel that she’s always watching that has movies that practically depicts every man to be a cheater, killer, or abuser – and that’s just before the first commercial break.” We both laughed at my silly joke. “Anyway, I know it’s hard to believe, but my mom was there when he showed up and she did confirm that he was in fact my sperm donor.”
“That’s quite a story,” Chase said, disbelief still resonating in his tone. “Can I ask you some questions?”
“You can ask me anything, Chase.” I meant it; I was willing to tell him anything he wanted to know in order to make things right between us and get to know my brother better.
“You moved here a month after our daddy dearest came knocking at your door. Did you apply at Bottoms Up only because I worked there?”
“Yes,” I said without hesitation. I fiddled with the napkin in my lap, wondering if he thought I was some psychotic stalker making up this story to get close to him. “I had plenty of bartending and kitchen experience from working at the country club where my family are members.”
“Country club?” Chase’s question was followed by a teasing sneer. “Really?”
“I didn’t exactly fit in with the Biff and Tiff crowd, if that is what you’re asking.” I gestured to my coifed and gelled hair.
“I was thinking more of the expense of belonging to a country club rather than you not personally fitting in. I can’t imagine anyone not liking you.”
“Believe me when I say there were plenty of people who didn’t think I belonged.” I didn’t keep my voiced modulated enough to keep the bitterness out. I could tell he heard it by the frown on his face, but I just shrugged in hopes that he didn’t ask more questions. I guess I wasn’t ready to tell him quite everything about my past. “Anyway, I did know you worked at Bottoms Up and it was the reason I applied for a job there. You probably remember that I also worked at Louie’s Diner from the one time I waited on you and Gray.”
“It was our first date,” he said with a wistful smile.
“Oh, I didn’t know.” Chase burst into laughter across from me and I could only stare at him, because I wasn’t privy to the joke. “What?”
“You kept coming to our table at the worst times.” The memory of it made him laugh some more. “I thought Gray was going to throttle you. Every time we brought up an important subject to talk through, you’d come over and…”
“…did my job,” I supplied for him with a grin. “It wasn’t deliberate, but I was curious about the guy my brother was dating.”
“Gray thought you wanted me or something by the way you always kept an eye on me. I thought you were just lonely and wanted a friend.” Chase got really quiet and his eyes turned as serious as his thoughts. “You were so quiet when you first came to town, Liam. You had a lost and sad look in your eyes and I wanted to be your friend and to give you someone to talk to if you needed an ear to bend. Wow, I never would’ve guessed the reason for your solitude.” Chase cocked his head slightly and offered me a genuine smile. “The more time I spent in your company, the more I liked you. It seemed like you were opening up more and more as you got more comfortable and began showing us your feisty personality.”
“Is that why you started inviting me places, because you felt sorry for me?” My heart sank that he was only kind to me out of pity.
“No,” he was quick to answer. “That isn’t why I invited you to hang out with me, my friends, and my family. I invited you because I liked it when you smiled and I wanted to see you smile more often. You seemed to have a good time around us and I liked seeing you happy. It wasn’t pity.”
I blew out the pent up breath I had unknowingly held. Ryan chose that moment to bring our food and Chase was lucky not to be wearing his Italian sampler of lasagna, fettucine Alfredo, and chicken parmesan. Ryan’s hand shook something fierce as he placed his plate on the table. Chase’s blond hair and big brown eyes had that effect on people.
“Whoa there,” Chase said good-naturedly, grabbing ahold of the plate before it spilled onto his lap. “There we go,” he added when it was safelyin frontof him and notonhim. “Thank you, Ryan.” Chase offered a comforting smile to Ryan, who nearly tripped over his feet as he backed away. “Um, Ryan, could you leave my brother’s plate so he can eat lunch too?”
