I had one stipulation during all of that Christmas chaos, which was that Christmas Day would just be for us and would always be so. If we were ever blessed with kids then I wanted to spend the day setting up and playing with their toys. I wanted us to establish our own holiday traditions too.
Liam and I had already given each other a gift early. I had given him his beloved double oven and he gave me something that squeezed my heart until I feared it would burst. He had a fire-breathing Celtic dragon tattooed over his heart with the words Surrender Your Heart beneath it. As much as I loved all of the gifts he had given me on Christmas morning, the tattoo was my favorite. Of course, I had to wait for his skin to heal before I could tease him with my tongue like he always did with my tattoo.
After our gift exchange, Liam made us a beautiful Christmas breakfast that I would like to make a part of our tradition, but feared my waistline might not agree. I let Charlie have some table scraps since it was Christmas and because he was the best dog in the world. Santa Paws brought Charlie plenty of doggy treats and toys so he was a happy boy too.
Liam and I called my dad to wish him a happy birthday. I could sense the sadness in my dad’s voice, even though he acted jovial. I missed granddad so much and I couldn’t imagine how hard it was for dad, who was his only son. There were days that I felt guilty for knowing things about granddad that my dad didn’t, but I couldn’t break granddad’s confidence.
Granddad was still on my mind long after I hung up the phone from talking to dad. Liam sensed my mood and brought his journals to me. It had been awhile since we read an entry and it did make me feel better just by holding one of his journals in my hand.
“Why don’t we skip ahead just this once and read the entry he wrote about your dad’s birth,” Liam suggested softly. I nodded and looked through the journal until I found the right page.
December 25, 1955
Today was the happiest day of my life. Mary Lou gave me the most amazing Christmas gift I had ever received in the form of a squalling baby boy. We had tried for a few years now and had given up hope of ever becoming parents, but here he was, Patrick Aidan Murphy, named after both of our fathers. I wanted to be in the room when he first came into the world, but it wasn’t permitted. I guess they thought men who fought in wars were somehow not tough enough to watch their children being born.
Had anyone asked me after the war ended if I could ever feel this happy, I would’ve said no, but I could never have told them why I felt that way. No one would have guessed that I had left most of my heart with another man on distant shores while fighting against tyranny and hate. I never would have thought my heart could be healed, and although I didn’t love Mary Lou in the same all-consuming way I had loved Jeremiah, I loved her with everything I had left.
Holding my newborn son in my arms, I realized that the heart was capable of healing and expanding to let new people and experiences into our lives. This might not have been the life I chose, but it had been the one chosen for me, and I would make the very best of it, because it was a gift. Mary Lou and Patrick were my gifts and I would cherish them with everything I had inside me until I took my last breath.
I wanted Patrick to know unconditional love so that he would love in the same way. I wanted him to know what it feels like to hold his very own bundle of joy in his arms someday. I decided that the best way I could honor the memory of Jeremiah was to make sure I’d love and support Patrick no matter where life took him or who he loved. That’s what being a father meant to me.
Happy Birthday and Merry Christmas my sweet boy.
“I have one more present for you,” Liam said softly when I was finished reading. “I debated giving it to you, because I was afraid it would make you sad and ruin your holiday. Now, I think it’s just what the moment needs.” Liam scooted off the couch and bent over next to the tree and pulled something out from clear in the back. It didn’t matter that I already had my Merry Christmas sex this morning, seeing his ass up in the air made me want more Christmas sex. Liam gave me a sexy smile, knowing where my thoughts went as he made his way back beside me with a flat, rectangular package. “Here you go.” I watched as Liam began worrying his bottom lip between his teeth, but I couldn’t imagine why he’d be nervous about his gift.
I accepted the package from him, looking down at the wrapping paper that had nothing to do with Christmas, but instead was covered with various types of fish and fishing equipment. “You already gave me too much.” I had to admit, the odd wrapping had me curious so I didn’t waste a bunch of time telling him he shouldn’t have, because he would just insist and then I would accept. I wanted to skip past the BS so I could have more Christmas sex.
Beneath the paper, was a large collage of photos of me and Big Jack taken throughout my lifetime. There were pictures of fishing and camping trips, school plays, sports, my graduation from basic training, and many, many more. In the center was a picture of him holding me when I was just a few hours old.
“It’s beautiful,” I said to Liam, as I took in every expression on Big Jack’s face. “This is so thoughtful, Liam.”
“I thought it would look beautiful on the fireplace mantel,” he whispered from beside me. “That way he can always be watching over us.”
“I want to think he’s looking down on us right now and smiling over how happy I am. I want to thank him for his encouragement to do the right thing for myself, which led me to you. I will honor him the rest of my life by being the best husband, and maybe someday a father, by following his examples.”
I stood up and moved things around on the mantle to make room for the amazing gift from Liam. Big Jack’s love radiated from every single photo, making me smile. I felt Liam step up beside me and I pulled him in front of me and rested my chin on his shoulder. Granddad gave me the courage, but the man in my arms made my dreams come true.
JACK CLOSED DOWNthe bar to the general public to ring in the New Year, but we still had a packed house full of friends and family. Everywhere I looked, I saw the people I loved most in the world. They were playing pool, darts, arcade games, chatting at tables, or taking turns on the stage singing karaoke. Chase and I supplied the food and Jack supplied the beverages. He made those drinking alcohol surrender their keys unless they brought a designated driver with them, no DD meant they had to use public transportation and collect their keys the next day.
“Happy New Year, sweetheart,” my mom said and kissed my cheek. “I have a feeling you’re about to experience more happiness than you’ve ever imagined.” I had a feeling she was right. She crooked her finger and I leaned even closer. “I heard through the grapevine what Jack did for Justin. I think everyone would completely understand if Jack wanted Justin to be fully prosecuted for attacking him. It shows what a remarkable, forgiving man he is and I am honored to be his future mother in-law.”
Jack had talked to the district attorney and had asked that Justin get counseling and community service instead of jail time. He just didn’t see how going to jail would help someone so misguided. Some people thought that Jack was being too lenient and passive, but he felt in his heart it was the right thing to do. I was still really angry over the incident and I was having a harder time forgiving Justin, but I supported Jack’s decision.
I looked across the room to where Jack was talking to Chase and Gray at the pool table. It looked to me like Chase and Gray were competing against one another again and Jack was somehow acting as a referee. Chase would point at the table and say something while Gray countered with his own gestures and words. There wasn’t anything heated about their disagreement, as evidenced by the ornery matching grins they wore. Most of us had started referring to their little competitions as foreplay. Jack must have had enough, because he took their pool sticks away and pointed for them to go take a seat at a corner booth.
“He’s really good at conflict resolution,” my dad said with a laugh, as he came up to stand beside us. “Have you guys picked a date yet?” It was the question everyone asked, but Jack and I had decided to wait until after the holidays to discuss it. We weren’t even sure what kind of wedding we wanted.
“Not yet. We have plenty of time,” I replied with a patient smile. I hugged my parents before moving on to circulate around the room.
“Married in Vegas?” I heard Ava ask Gram. She was sitting in Brandon’s lap, instead of the vacant seat beside him. It was cute to see how much she still liked to cuddle against him. As she had told me earlier, they didn’t have a lot of free time to hang out with friends and cuddle like they used to do. She loved being a mom to Jacob, but was happy to have a sitter for the night to spend time celebrating with her friends and husband.
“That’s what she suggested,” Lennie answered Ava instead of Gram. “I told her that she would be miserable without all of you on her special day.” He reached over and brought Gram’s hand up to his mouth and kissed it.
“He’s right. I can’t get married without all of you. I’m just not sure what kind of wedding to have,” she said with a sigh. “Outdoor, indoor, skydiving,” she said with a wry smile, “it just gets so overwhelming.”
“What gets overwhelming?” Xavier asked, walking up behind me. I ducked to avoid what I knew was coming, but I wasn’t fast enough to escape his head noogies. “Making up for lost time,” he said digging his knuckles deeper in my scalp when I tried to squirm away.
“Step away from my man and no one gets hurt.” I heard the growly voice of my dragon coming to my rescue. It worked too, because X let go and hid behind Ben. “That’s what I thought.”
