“We could at least find out if he’s still alive. If he is, we can approach his family first to make sure it would be a good idea for us to visit. We can just mention what good friends they were and not reference their intimate relationship.” I didn’t miss how he kept sayingwein reference to the search for Jeremiah. It thrilled me more than I was able to express at the moment. “Ben’s brother, Bevan, is a private investigator. We can get Bevan’s phone number from Xavier or Ben and see if he could maybe help.” There it was again –we.
I couldn’t resist him any longer. I brushed away the tears he cried for my granddad’s lost love and set the letters back in the locker. Poor Charlie was sent to the living room and I made very slow, very sweet love to my Liam. There were moments when I was inside of him that I thought my heart would burst from swelling with so much emotion. I felt our connection in every fiber of my being, but words failed me. I could only show him how he made me feel.
I sat back in my desk chair, perplexed that I was the only man in my Irish family who couldn’t communicate his feelings very well. My dad, my granddad, and brother had no problem telling people how they felt, but I had always been more reserved. I guess if you add my reserved nature plus the secret I had been carrying around for twenty years, you end up with a recipe for a knuckle-dragging Neanderthal who grunts instead of talks – so in other words, me.
I knew that wouldn’t fly with Liam. He’d be patient with me and he’d never expect me to change my personality to suit him, but he’d want me to talk to him and tell him how I felt. Hell, I didn’t even thank him for making us breakfast until we had almost fallen asleep later that night; I had a lot to learn. I would work very hard on making communication a reality, because I knew one thing after just a few short days.
Liam Connelly was made for me.
Yes, I had some issues to work through and I would. I admitted to myself that the twelve year age difference worried me, but I’d work through it too. I told myself that I wouldn’t worry about Liam waking up one day and deciding that he wanted someone closer to his own age, because all the worrying robbed me from the present and I wouldn’t waste one second of our precious time together. Had Big Jack and Jeremiah taught me nothing?
I watched as Liam and Trevor interacted on the monitor. Trevor had been acting better ever since our talk, but I still felt tension between him and Liam. It was as if Liam anticipated snappy comments while Trevor feared to say anything out of worry that he’d piss me off and lose his job. Firing Trevor wasn’t something I wanted to do, but I’d be damned if I let him fuck up the chemistry of our team. I watched as Trevor pointed down to the opposite end of the bar from where Liam was working. Liam looked in that direction and his entire body stiffened. He casually removed his bar towel from his shoulder and started to walk down to the other end of the bar.
I hit the remote to jump cameras so I could watch him. I should’ve felt like a voyeur, but my gut told me that he was about to face something unpleasant. His posture became stiffer when he stopped in front of a toothy fucker at the bar who grinned at Liam like he was his long lost love. I knew in my heart that I was looking at the guy who made Liam feel unloved and dirty. It was all I could do to stay in my seat when all I really wanted to do was go to Liam, to make him feel how badly I wanted him and needed him. I wanted to give him strength while he faced down someone who had hurt him so bad.
He wouldn’t appreciate it though. He wouldn’t like me posturing, grandstanding, and beating my chest in an attempt to intimidate the little weasel. Liam would want to handle it on his own, like he did everything else in his life – at his pace and in his own way.
Liam’s stiff posture didn’t relent and even Trevor looked concerned as he walked away from the pair. I should give Liam the privacy he deserved, but I couldn’t look away. There was a perverse side of me that needed to see if Liam still harbored any feelings for that guy.
I tried being objective as I took in my enemy’s appearance. He was tall, blond, and very handsome; he was the epitome of every toothpaste commercial I had ever seen. I expected a person might need to wear sunglasses while directly looking at his smile in the sunlight. He looked the spoiled, country club type who was born with a silver spoon in his mouth with not a single worry in his life. I knew better than to judge a person by their appearance and the circumstances of their birth, but I didn’t want to be objective and fair when it came to this Kenner guy. Yeah, I knew the asshole’s name. I listened to Liam tell me how the douche nozzle broke his heart when he was younger. I hated knowing that anyone else got to touch and know his body before me, but that was so unfair. I wasn’t exactly a virgin myself.
By all appearances – and by appearances, I mean Kenner’s toothy grin and lustful eyes – he wanted Liam back. Well it was too fucking bad, because Liam was mine. All mine. It also seemed that Liam wasn’t receptive to anything Kenner had to say. His posture remained stiff and unfriendly and his motions were economical. Liam leaned a little over the bar and crooked his finger. My heart pounded in my chest with fear of losing someone I had wanted for so long and just barely had a taste of, but then I saw Kenner’s smile falter and turn to a grimace after Liam finished saying what was on his mind.
“That’s my boy,” I said out loud when Liam walked away without a backwards glance. I felt the stupid grin splitting my face and I didn’t care. Charlie gave awooffrom his couch, thinking I was talking to him. “You’re my boy too. I have plenty of love in my heart for both of you, Charlie Boy.” Charlie made a doggy groan and might’ve rolled his eyes if he could.
Charlie was used to it being just the two of us, but it seemed like he loved Liam almost as much as I did.Love.It was too soon to tell him, too ridiculous to even ponder, but it was true. I was head over heels in love with Liam Connelly. I just had to bide my time until it was right to tell him how I felt.
I could almost hear Big Jack’s voice in my ear telling me there was no time like the present. If he could talk to me right now, he’d tell me to be brave and tell Liam how I was feeling and stop hiding behind excuses. He’d tell me to love him with everything I had, because there was never a guarantee of another day.Surrender your heart.Well, I wouldn’t be blurting it out the same night his ex showed up at the bar. That would’ve looked suspicious as hell.
Liam went back to work his side of the bar, and didn’t glance down at the opposite end one time. I shamefully watched on the monitors, but consoled myself that I didn’t go out there and make an ass of myself. Well, not until Country Club Kenner got lippy with Trevor when he tried to cut him off. I saw Trevor shake his head and refuse to serve him, which told me that Country Club had too much to drink.
I saw Trevor hold up his hands as if to say he didn’t want any trouble, but I could see Kenner’s mouth moving a mile a minute. I couldn’t hear the words, but I didn’t need to because Kenner’s facial expression and body language said it all. He was being told no and he didn’t like it. It was the same reason why he didn’t leave right away when Liam had rejected his advances earlier. He was biding his time to worm his way back into Liam’s life, because that was what Kenner wanted. Kenner got what Kenner wanted – or so he thought. I wasted no time entering the bar to put a stop to the bullshit. I felt Liam’s eyes on me as I walked behind the line of barstools filled with patrons until I reached my destination.
“It’s time for you to leave, buddy.” My voice was firm and fair and held no hint of the resentment and disgust I was feeling. “Call him a cab, Trev,” I said to my bartender.
“Yes, sir.”
Country Club turned around, raking his eyes up and down my body with a lecherous glee. “Aren’t you a long, tall, drink of tap beer?”
“Not interested, pal.” I kept my voice calm and controlled.
“Seems to be the consensus in this shithole,” he said looking around in disdain. Then he locked eyes on Liam and got a lascivious look on his face. “Although, you do hire beautiful bartenders.” I could sense Liam watching our confrontation, but I dared not look at him right then. I’d give too much away and it would only make it more difficult to get Kenner out of my bar and into a cab. “He’s still so beautiful,” he said wistfully. “I used to lose myself inside him every fucking chance I got. I blew it though. I had hoped that I could tell him I was sorry and he’d give me another chance. My life fucking sucks without him.”
I was starting to feel sorry for the guy, knowing I’d feel miserable if I had blown my chance with Liam too. Then the dickhead opened up his mouth and said, “Maybe I could just talk him into a fuck for old time’s sakes. Keep your liquor, bar keep. I’ll just sit here and drink soda until the bar closes and have Liam take me home with him.”
“It’s not going to happen, buddy.” The growl in my voice must have caught his attention, because he swung those drunken eyes toward me.
“It’s not?” His question came out in a slur.
“No, it’s not.” I moved in closer until only he could hear me. “Liam is coming home with me. He’s mine and I don’t share. Ever. Have I made myself clear?”
“Crystal,” he said with a leer. “You want to keep that greedy, tight hole all to yourself. Can’t blame you,” he said and then hiccupped.
I never wanted to plow my fist into someone’s face as badly as I did that fucking piece of shit. I held back, I don’t know how, but I did. It wouldn’t be fair for me to pound the shit out of him in the drunken condition he was in, but all bets were off if he ran his mouth like that sober.
“Get the fuck out of my bar while you still have the ability to walk on your own. Don’t ever come back here, you disgusting piece of shit.”
“I’ll walk him to the door,” I heard Trevor say from behind me. “I got this, Jack, if you’ll take over for me while I put him in the cab.” I was grateful for Trevor’s intervention. I nodded my agreement and walked away from Kenner, before I did something I knew I would regret.
