“… Reeling?” I finished for her. “Shocked, disappointed, and angry too,” I also suggested.
Laura gave me a small smile and said, “Yes, to all of those things, but none of them are directed at you, despite my barb.” I wasn’t sure what all Laura had been told by the police, Feds, or even Billy himself, so I kept my mouth shut. She had something to say and I was going to let her say it. If she was wrong about something, I could correct her. “I’ve known about Billy’s feelings for you for a long time, since the beginning really.”
“I wouldn’t call them feelings,” I replied.So much for letting the woman talk. On the other hand, I did say I would correct her when she was wrong.
“He didn’t want to admit it then and he sure as hell doesn’t want to admit it now, but I know the truth. You know the truth,” she added. “Something has been off with Billy for a long time and I figured that maybe he was coming to terms with his sexuality, I was even prepared for the conversation and had a response ready to go. I wasn’t at all equipped for him to disappear, or to find out he’d been using drugs again, and I sure as hell wasn’t ready to find out he’d been arrested. I don’t know many details–not that I’d discuss them with you–but I know that he had been harassing you. I’m really sorry for that, Josh.”
“It’s not your fault, Laura,” I said, reaching for her with my hand that wasn’t holding the paper bag with pie.
“Thanks for saying so,” she replied, but she didn’t sound convincing. “As for the rest of what I’ve been told,” she closed her eyes briefly before continuing, “I just can’t reconcile those things with the man I married and the father of my children. I just want to make sure he gets help.”
“I’m sorry, Laura.” Even though I wasn’t responsible for any of the things that happened, that didn’t mean I wasn’t sorry for what she was going through.
“It’s not your fault, Josh,” she said, smiling as she repeated my words. “I just wanted to clear the air so that there wasn’t any awkwardness between us.”
“Thank you for that, Laura. I won’t pretend I was looking forward to this run-in, but I’m glad it happened.”
“Take care of yourself,” she said as she took a few steps backwards. Then she gave me a small wave and turned around to walk away.
The interaction stayed on my mind for the rest of the day. There she was, a woman who could’ve been bitter and taken that bitterness on a rampage to hurt everyone in her path; instead, she was trying to comfort me and make me feel less awkward about a situation that she wasn’t responsible for. She wanted to help Billy rather than hurt him. I hoped I was a big enough person to feel the same way had I been in her shoes, but I wasn’t so sure. It wasn’t that I wished harm on Billy for what he did to me, I just wished that I didn’t have to see him or ever talk to him again. I wasn’t in love with Billy, but Laura clearly was.
The emotional rollercoaster that I had been on since I learned Billy had moved back to town caught up to me. All I wanted to do was go upstairs and crash hard, but that wasn’t the card I wanted to play. No, I had a very special card in my pocket that trumped all others.
My exhaustion faded the second I heard Gabe’s key in the door at the bottom of the steps. Buddy heard it too and pranced around in circles until Gabe knelt down and gave him the loving he wanted. It reminded me of the time Gabe threw himself down on the floor for a belly rub that led to other things. I launched myself into Gabe’s arms and wrapped my legs around his waist as soon as he got up from greeting Buddy.
“Hey there, Sunshine,” Gabe said. “You’re looking extra…” he narrowed his eyes as he searched for the proper word, “sunshiney.”
“That’s because I have something in my pants for you,” I replied, waggling my eyebrows.
“Oh, baby, I know all about the delights you have in your pants,” Gabe said then nuzzled my neck.
“I was referring to a particular delight–at least I hope you think so–in my right rear pocket,” I told Gabe. I slid to my feet after he pulled the change of address card out of my pocket. I bit my lip while he took his sweet-fucking-time looking it over without an expression on his face. “It just needs your signature on the bottom,” I said timidly.
Gabe threw his head back and laughed. I took a step back, unsure what he thought was so goddamned funny until he reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a blank change of address card. “I was going to get your permission first before I completed it, of course. I spent the last few hours thinking up cute ways to propose the idea to you, but came up flat. You, on the other hand, came up with the perfect plan. You jumped me and told me to reach inside your pants.”
I was so relieved that I was speechless, but Savage said it all for me. “Big Daddy’s home!”
“Yes, he is,” Gabe and I both said at the same time then began our celebration with a toe-curling kiss that led to hours of pleasure. It wasn’t until the next morning that I even remembered the pie I bought for us. So, we had celebration chocolate silk pie for breakfast with our coffee.
IT FELT LIKEI floated to work the next day. I had just come off one of the most beautiful moments of my life, I got to eat chocolate pie for breakfast, and it was a Friday. What more could a man want in life? Had Josh been with me on the road to Cincinnati, he would have rattled off a bunch of snarky things had I voiced my thought, but my guy wasn’t riding shotgun that morning–Detective Dorchester was–and I kept my thought to myself.
“You’re looking mighty perky this morning,” Dorchester commented. “Must’ve had a wonderful evening.”
“Do youreallywant to hear about my evening?” I asked.
“I wasn’t really thinking along the lines of something that personal, but do you think the idea of two guys having sex creeps me out?” he asked. I saw him shaking his head out of my peripheral vision. “My sister is gay so you’re not the only person I know from the rainbow community.”
“Yeah, but most straight guys think two chicks together are hot,” I told him. “As long as they don’t want equal rights or to raise a family together,” I added under my breath.
“Lesbian sex isn’t hot when it involves your sister!” Dorchester’s revulsion made me smile and eased the slight amount of tension that creeped in. Maybe someday I’d do less assuming about people’s views on the LGBTQ community, but I wasn’t quite there yet. “Anyway, I’d like to think I wouldn’t be that asshole even if my sister wasn’t a rainbow baby. Not everyone is like Sampson.”
“You’re right, Dorchester. I’m sorry if I came off like a cynical asshole,” I replied.
“No apology needed,” he told me. “I’m sure your life experiences had a lot to do with it.”
He was right, but I decided to change the subject back to the case. “What are your opinions on the Turner case so far? You think anyone interviewed might be hiding something?” I had spent hours looking over the interview notes and making a list of new questions I wanted to ask once we returned to the station.
“We have a guy who was being threatened, but we don’t know what for. He said that going to the cops made it worse, but we don’t know why. When he worked with the police he wasn’t forthcoming, so he had something he wanted to hide or perhaps someone he wanted to protect. He wanted to be saved, but wouldn’t do anything to save himself, except for maybe his last act of coming to find you,” Dorchester said. “By then it was too late.”
