“Not tonight,” I replied. “Josh is taking Meredith to see Phantom of the Opera in Cincinnati for her birthday.”
I didn’t want to think about how much I was going to miss him or examine the reasons why too closely. Things had been going great with us, but there was still the lingering worry that Josh would slip away from me somehow. I had always known that someone had hurt him badly in his past and I was starting to get bits and pieces from him–both intentionally and by accident when he let little things slip. I had to remind myself daily that he was skittish and needed to take things slow.
I finished out my day at work and went home to Buddy. I fixed a big pot of spaghetti so that I’d have enough for leftovers that weekend. I kicked up my feet and watched college basketball until I couldn’t keep my eyes open any longer. Of course, I was wide awake once I got in bed. At first I was irritated, but that disappeared the second I received a text from Josh asking if I was still awake.
Yep!I doubted he was coming over because that would be three overnight visits in a row.
Good. I’ll meet you at the back door.
I moved faster than I thought I was still capable of in my haste to get to him.Play it cool. Don’t just rip his clothes off. Ask about his night.I had good intentions, I really did. But he reached down and cupped my crotch and it was game on. I ripped the buttons off another dress shirt, probably the replacement one I bought him for Christmas, right there in my kitchen. It wasn’t until the next morning that I even remembered to ask about his evening, but my dick was in his mouth and it was just rude to ask questions when someone had their mouth full.
Of course, I had to return the favor. I forgot about everything except making him curl his toes and yank my hair while I blew him. By the time I rememberedagainto have some fucking manners, Josh was already on his way home to get his day at the salon started. It might not have bothered a lot of guys, but it did me. From everything I had learned about his past so far, all he knew were men who wanted sex with him. I wasn’t that guy. I wanted more from Josh, so much more. The only way he would believe it was if I started acting like it. I needed a plan.
SATURDAYS AT A SALONare balls or tits–whatever you possess–to the wall. It’s the only day a lot of clients can get in and I rarely have cancellations. Of course, there’s always the one client you wish would cancel. It was just my luck that I had that particular client the morning after I stayed out late with my best girl then fooled around with my best guy for another hour or longer before I got to sleep. I might have been tired, but the gritty eyes and sore body were worth it.
Then she walked into my salon and I could feel all my happiness fading. Delaney “The Dragon” Sampson, as she was known to any kid who had her as a high school teacher, was a force to be reckoned with. She looked down her nose at my flamboyant style during my teenage years and I often got a homophobic vibe from her. Of course, she never said anything to me because my mother would have destroyed her, but that didn’t mean she kept her opinions to herself at home in front of her family. I had often wondered if she was the reason why Billy hated himself and the attraction he felt for me. It took me a long time before I could look at her without seeing Billy, but I did it.
Over the years, Delaney moved up the ranks to principal and then later superintendent. She still had that watchful eye that didn’t miss a single thing. Her disdain for me had faded, but I felt it was more because I held her hair in my hands rather than any enlightenment on her part. She reminded me of people who mistrusted, or just flat out didn’t like, African Americans unless they played sports or sang songs that they liked. In the same vein, gay men were okay if they were helping decorate a house, baking goods, or styling hair, but open-mindedness often disappeared when the same gay men starting demanding things like equal rights.Gasp!It didn’t make them any less racist or homophobic, but they convinced themselves otherwise. Maybe I was being too harsh, but I’d seen enough shit slung my way because of who I was attracted to and at Meredith for the color of her skin.
“Good morning, Mrs. Sampson,” I said with a cheerfulness I didn’t feel. She wasn’t the only one who could fake it, unless we were talking about sex. I didn’t have to waste energy on phony orgasms because my man knew what he was doing, but I’d bet the same couldn’t be said about Mr. Sampson. He had Missionary Position Only and Two-Minute Man stamped all over his forehead.Oops, look at me with all my judgment.
“Joshua.” She was the only person on the planet who called me that. It was only slightly better than the Joshy my mom still used sometimes. “I’m thinking about doing something different with my hair.”
“Really?” I asked, playing along. We went through this routine every eight weeks. She’d look at shorter hairstyles in my magazines and books while I talked about subtle changes she could make with her hair color. Each time she’d leave my salon with the same blonde football-helmet style that she arrived with. You could lead a bad hair case to the chair but you couldn’t make them change their hairstyle.
“What do you think about this one?” She held up the same picture she chose every visit.
As I always did, I said… Nope! I no longer feared veering away from my expected routine and responses. Instead, I was honest. “I don’t like that cut for you. It does nothing to show off your heart-shaped face or the pretty shape of your eyes.” Her gaze locked with mine in the mirror and I saw the surprise in her bright blue eyes. “I suspect you don’t really like your current style either or you would not have talked about changing it every visit for the last five years. You’re the kind of woman who knows what she wants and sets out to get it everywhere except when it comes to your hair. Can I show you which cut would look best with your features and shape of your face?”
She stared blankly at me in the mirror for a few minutes before she nodded imperceptibly. I turned the page and showed her a haircut that was similar to the one she chose, but the layers were longer and subtler. She flipped back and forth between the pages to carefully study the two different styles. I was prepared for her to tell me to just do the usual color and trim, but she shocked me when she said, “Let’s do it.” She pointed to the picture of the cut I suggested. “I also want to do that thing you suggested with the colors.”
“Dimensional coloring?” I stood up straighter and felt a little perkier at the thought of doing something new for her. I loved clients who were all like “fuck it, let’s try something new.” I clapped my hands when she nodded. “Let me show you all the various colors I have so you can tell me what you’re comfortable with.” Interior designers had swatches of fabrics and carpets, I had hair samples for every dye color I offered.
“Is this too dark?” Delany asked. She ran her finger over a sample several shades darker than her current color.
“I will only be using it to make the blonde pop more.” I found the exact colors the model used in the picture she liked then pointed out where the darker colors were used and how natural it looked.
“I love it, Joshua. You’ve been telling me this for years, but I’m not good with change anywhere but my career.” It was the most human response and reaction I had ever seen from her.
“Most people aren’t,” I replied honestly.
Delaney settled herself in the chair while I went and mixed the dye for her hair. I was thankful that she wasn’t one for a lot of small talk because I honestly didn’t want to talk about her son. I could go the rest of my life without seeing or talking to him and be perfectly happy. When I returned to my station, I saw that Delaney was talking on her cellphone.
“I’m at the salon right now, but I’d love to watch the kids for you when I get home. I’m sure you and Laura could use a night out.” My stomach sank because I knew who she was talking to. I just crossed my fingers that my name wouldn’t be brought up. “Maybe you can drop them off to me when I’m done.” Her eyes connected with mine in the mirror. “How long would you say before we’re finished, Joshua?”
Damn it!“Two hours, give or take fifteen minutes or so.”
Delaney broke eye contact with me as I started to work on her hair. “I should be done around four o’clock. Where are you two lovebirds heading?” I tried not to let her words make me sick. I wasn’t sure who I felt worse for–Billy or his wife. It didn’t take much thinking for me to choose Laura. “Yes, Joshua from high school. He has his own salon. It’s lovely and he’s wildly successful.” There was a pause as she listened. “He’s been doing my hair for years. In fact, he’s finally convinced me to do something different with my hair. We’re thinking red!” Delaney busted into laughter at whatever reaction Billy had. “Just kidding. We’re just changing up the color a bit and I’ve chosen a new hairstyle.” She paused again to listen. “I love you too, son. Yes, I’ll tell Joshua hello from you.”
I kept my eyes focused on her hair and avoided eye contact during the conversation beyond telling her how long I thought it would take to complete her hair makeover. I hoped that my mental cringing didn’t show on my face, especially when she asked if I remembered her son from high school. I was so proud of myself when I was able to calmly say, “Sure do,” without giving away any of the contempt I felt for the man. I couldn’t stop myself from digging up one tidbit of information though. “I wasn’t aware that he moved back.”
“He’s been back about six months. I’m so happy to be able to hug my grandbabies more than once or twice a year. Having kids is wonderful, but grandbabies are even better. My heart just fills to bursting when I look at them. You’ll see someday when…” She broke off suddenly. I looked up and saw her eyes had widened and her cheeks had turned pink with embarrassment. “I’m sorry.”
“Why are you sorry?” I asked her. “Same sex couples have children all the time. They either adopt or find a surrogate. I just might know what it feels like to be a grandfather someday.” I had honestly never considered having kids of my own. I thought kids were adorable and precious, but being a father wasn’t a role I thought about. I did plan on being the favorite uncle to Chaz’s and Meredith’s kids someday though.
Delaney looked relieved that I wasn’t upset. “That’s all very true,” she said. “Times have really changed.”
I couldn’t get a read on how she felt about it, but I didn’t linger there. I couldn’t control her thoughts nor was I responsible for them. She sang my praises to her son in my presence, but who knew what she would say later behind my back. I was never one to back down from an argument or debate, but that didn’t mean I went looking for them. My salon was a peaceful zone where serious topics like religion and politics were ignored in place of who was banging who–the truly important stuff in life.
