Hell, I expected an, “I told you so,” out of Jerry and was shocked that I didn’t get it. Jerry’s problem wasn’t with me being gay; I had been very open and honest about who I was from the very beginning. He just didn’t want chaos in his calm, orderly newsroom. I had spent more years than I cared to remember in the closet and I wasn’t going back for anyone. Jerry might’ve had a prickly nature, but he wasn’t an unkind, cruel man. Once the decision was made to run my article, he got behind it and dared anyone to mouth off.
I couldn’t figure out where in the hell he was coming from with the Macio interview. I knew it was the interview of the year, but damn. I was wide awake after that call, so I decided I might as well get up and settle in. I had a shit ton of laundry to do after being gone so long. I glanced at the clock and saw that I had slept for six hours and it would have to be enough because I was expected at my mom’s house for brunch.
I zombie-walked my way to the shower, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes as I went. I liked my showers as hot as my men and barely used cold water. The heat from the water beating down on my weary body was just what I needed. My dick apparently hadn’t received the memo that I was tired because it stood proudly from my body, demanding attention. Ignoring my diva of a dick wouldn’t work either; it was either take care of business in the shower or suffer the consequences of discomfort all damned day.
I wrapped my hand around my cock and began stroking with the intention of making it fast, butheappeared as soon as I closed my eyes. My fantasies of Macio only got stronger after being only a few feet from him. Later, I’d castrate myself for jerking off with a straight guy in mind, but right then, I needed to come and thoughts of him always made that happen.
In my dreams, Macio had me in every conceivable way – on my hands and knees, beneath him, over him, against the wall… they went on and on. I dialed up my favorite that morning. I was looking down upon a large city through a wall of windows while Macio fucked me from behind. My body shook all over as the fantasy played behind my eyelids, hotter than any porn video I had ever watched. I imagined the way he’d growl in my ear as he possessively took what I so gladly offered.
It felt so real, as if I could feel his bruising grip on me as he thrust deep and long inside me. I unraveled and came all over the tile floor in my shower while fantasy me spurted all over the glass window in front of him. Seeing my spunk all over the window pushed Macio over the edge; he came hard and deep inside me.
My orgasm was so intense, I had to brace myself against the wall of the shower until I caught my breath and my legs were stable enough to support my weight. As it always did, guilt and irritation slipped in and chased away the last residue of pleasure. I berated myself for not finding another suitable fantasy, or better yet, a live person who could give me what I needed.
I just couldn’t seem to get Animacio De Niro out of my head.
“My baby.” My mom flung her arms around my neck the second I walked through her door. “I’ve missed you so much. How was your trip? Meet any hot guys?” She looked hopeful when she pulled back and it made me sad that I might have let her down in some way. I knew she hoped to see me settled by then, but it just hadn’t happened yet. I never would have guessed I would still be single at nearly thirty years old.
“Not this trip,” I replied.
“Well, I know the perfect man is out there for you.” She looped her arm through my elbow and we walked into the living room where my two older sisters and their families had gathered.
Jessica was the oldest at thirty-four, and Brittany was the middle James sibling at thirty-two. My father, Matthew, was killed in action during the first Gulf War when I was only four years old. My mother was left to raise three kids on her own. Drucilla James was my very first hero and there was no one I admired more than her.
My sisters jumped up and greeted me like they hadn’t seen me in two years rather than the two weeks I had been gone. I shook their husbands’ hands and then wrestled with my nieces and nephews until we were called to the table. My mom was an amazing cook and was always trying new recipes. That morning, I was happy to see she had served up my favorites – crispy bacon, fluffy scrambled eggs, and Belgium waffles with a platter full of different toppings that would please everyone. Her kind gesture was a much-needed balm to my battered nerves.
I’d heard many people complain that it took hours to prepare a meal but only minutes to devour it. That was never true in my family. We lingered and talked about the things happening in our lives. Seldom did anyone ever eat just one plate of food and no one ever left my mom’s house hungry or without leftovers for the road.
My sisters and their families left before me so they could get prepared for their upcoming work and school weeks. I just wanted a damn minute to catch my breath and spend some one-on-one time with my best gal.
“Tell me what’s wrong, Aiden.” Mother’s intuition never failed to amaze me.
“There’s nothing wrong.” I tried to deny it, but the look on her face said she wasn’t having it. “It’s stupid, really, and not worth wasting your time.”
She reached over and gave my ear a yank. “Talking to my children is never a waste of time. So, spill.”
“This is ridiculous.” I laid back against the couch and crossed my arms over my chest. “There’s this guy that I like a lot who is unattainable for several reasons. I know that nothing will ever come between us, but I can’t get him out of my mind.”
“What reasons?” she asked.
“For one thing, he’s straight.” I released a frustrated groan. “Even if he wasn’t, there would be no chance for us. We’re too different.”
“Don’t believe the saying that opposites attract but don’t last long.” A wistful smile spread across her face. “Your father and I were as different as night and day, but we made one hell of a team. It was hard work,” she admitted. “But what worth having isn’t?”
“True, but that doesn’t change the fact that he’s straight and I’m gay.”
“Aiden, I’ve never known you to fret and fantasize over a straight guy. Maybe your radar is broken.”
“It’s called a gaydar, Mom.” I leaned my head back against the couch and laughed harder than I had in weeks.
“Whatever it’s called,” she said, then paused for me to laugh some more before she continued. “Yours must be broken.”
“It’s not; believe me.” There was no way in hell that Macio was gay. I needed to accept it and move on. “What about you? Let any silver foxes catch you lately?” I asked, changing the subject. I hated that my mom was alone. It was sweet that she felt so devoted to my dad, but I doubted he would’ve wanted her to spend the rest of her days without love.
“Well… maybe.”
I was so surprised because the answer had always been a resounding no whenever I asked her. I immediately forgot about my problems and listened to my mom talk about a handsome, widowed doctor who had come into her gallery looking for art pieces for his new home. I loved the way her cheeks blushed when she talked about him.
I ended up staying longer at her house than I normally did on a Sunday night, so it was late when I checked my email. I was shocked as hell to find that Macio had contacted me. At first, I thought it was a joke, but then realized that no one knew how bad I crushed on the man. My heart raced and I found myself holding my breath when I opened his email.
