I kept reminding myself that night, and the many days that followed without a glimpse of him, that it was for the best. Truthfully, I missed bantering with him back and forth and I couldn’t help but wonder what he was up to. Was he getting anywhere with Georgia’s case? How were he and Buddy getting along? Did he think about me half as much as I thought about him? I couldn’t help but wonder if he still watched me as I jogged by his house.
I felt my resolve getting weaker and the desire to see him get stronger. I needed to stay busy in my down time, learn how to knit or something so that I didn’t go over to his home and beg to have a go at his cock again. I was starting to feel and sound like a cock whore and I didn’t like it. Hell, I had a right hand – and a left if I wanted to shake things up. Maybe I needed to jerk off more and think about Gabe less.
My desperation to get over my self-inflicted misery led me to accept an invitation to go dancing from Merrick. He wanted to celebrate his new place and return to single life, which he claimed was better once he and Kevin broke up. Who was I to argue with him? I had never been in a real relationship before so I couldn’t say which was better. The only thing I did know was that I slept much better in Gabe’s arms than I did alone. I chalked it up to remaining jitters and trauma from the shooting in my bedroom, but I suspected there was more to it than I wanted to admit.
“You know that Merrick’s going to want to pick up where he left off, right?” Meredith maneuvered around vehicles she felt were driving too slow when they were really only speeding ten miles over the posted limit rather than the fifteen or twenty over that she preferred. “You going to tell him you’re taken?”
“Taken? What the hell are you talking about, Mere?” Perhaps I shouldn’t have asked Meredith to come along as the designated driver, but she was right about Merrick and his probable intentions. I wasn’t interested in hooking up with him again, but not for the reason she mentioned. I wanted her along so that I would be able to have a few drinks and get home safely without having to spend the night at his place, which was what I suspected Merrick would suggest.
She snorted and shook her head like I was a complete idiot. “Sugar, you might be able to fool yourself, but you sure won’t fool Meredith.”
“Ew, don’t talk about yourself in third person. You know that creeps me out.” I looked over at her, grinning from ear to ear. “Remember Travis Southerland?”
“Travis is hungry.” Meredith’s voice had dropped low to mimic our former classmate’s. “Travis is the best quarterback in the state of Ohio.” We burst into laughter. “Thank goodness he outgrew that habit.”
“He sure was a hottie back in the day,” I told Meredith. Travis was one of the few kids that went to college and never returned to Blissville after graduation. Last I heard, he was living in Dallas and owned a large insurance agency.
“I prefer brains over brawn,” she replied.
“Uh huh,” I said disbelievingly. “You’re forgetting that I know every single guy you’ve dated since high school.”
“It was a recent revelation,” she said in a moderately defensive tone. “It’s taken me a while to figure out where I’ve gone wrong in the past.”
“Yeah, you’ve chosen guys who aren’t good enough for you. I think it’s more that they lacked balls and not a matter of brains or brawn.” I looked over at Meredith and marveled for the millionth time in my life that her inner beauty rivaled her exterior perfection. Someday the right guy would come along and snatch her up and I couldn’t wait for the moment that he appeared in her life. “Aim high, baby.”
“I’ll do my best.” Meredith saluted me playfully. “So, why couldn’t Chaz come with us tonight?”
“All he said was that he had plans. He didn’t say who or what he was doing,” I added with a shrug. Chaz never missed an opportunity to dance the night away and I was a little bit worried about him. I knew he’d come to me if something serious was going on, therefore I chose to respect his privacy and not press him for information.
“I guess we’ll just have to dance and live it up without him.”
Vibe was the closest gay club and it was nearly an hour away. The bottom level housed the dance floor while the second floor sported pool tables, dart boards, and other sporty things. I rarely went upstairs because dancing was my sport.
The club was hopping when we arrived and it took us several minutes to find Merrick. He was pressed up against the bar by some tall burly looking dude and didn’t look in a hurry to leave him. It appeared that I would be avoiding any kind of awkward rejection of his advances that night.You didn’t have any problems rejecting Gabe.No! I would not be going back there again. I gave Meredith a relieved smile before I tugged her hand and pulled her into the crowd of dancers so we could get our groove on.
I let the music flow through me and became one with the beat. Music had always been my safe place to escape to when I needed relief from both the external pressures in the world and the ones I created in my mind. I threw my hands up in the air and focused on having a good time with my best friend.
It didn’t take long for my clothes to become damp and stick to my body. I was starting to get really thirsty, but I was having too much fun to stop. Mere was having a great time too, swaying with the music with her arms in the air and her eyes closed. After what seemed like hours of dancing, Mere stopped and gestured drinking with her hands. I nodded and we both left the dance floor in search of a cold drink, or two.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the owner of the club, Nate Turner, approach the bar. He was a very sexy man, who rarely came out of his office to socialize with the patrons. I knew whomever had his attention must’ve been special. I turned my head to watch him, as did nearly everyone else at or near the bar. There were too many people blocking my view so I had to lean forward over the bar to see who was sitting on the stool talking to Nate.
“I don’t fucking believe it,” I said loud enough to be heard over the thumping music.
“What, honey?” Meredith looked in the direction that I had been staring and I heard her gasp. “It’s probably nothing.”
I told myself it didn’t matter that Gabe was at the bar talking to Nate and looking all kinds of chummy. I freaked out when I fell asleep in his bed. I outright rejected any offer that he made other than sex. He was done and had moved on. I knew that, so why did it bother me to see it with my own eyes? I told myself not to look down in their direction again, but it was like my eyes had a mind of their own.
I watched as Nate placed his hand on Gabe’s shoulder and nodded his head in the direction of his office. I had heard from some of the guys that worked at the club that Nate liked to invite someone who’d caught his eye on the monitors back to his office to fuck. It didn’t happen often, which was why almost every eye at the bar was on the two men.
Of course Nate noticed Gabe; who wouldn’t? In all honesty, it looked like the little meet and greet had happened on more than one occasion. As if Gabe sensed my eyes on him, he turned his head and looked down the length of the bar in my direction. I had just enough time to duck back and hide behind the guy standing next to me, taking Meredith with me so that Gabe didn’t see her either.
“Things aren’t always how they appear.” Meredith’s eyes were filled with sympathy as she reached out and clasped my hand. “Go talk to him, Jazz. If you really want him then don’t let him get away.”
I didn’t want him. I didn’t want him. I… oh, fuck it!I pulled back from Meredith and headed down to the end of the bar where Gabe had sat to find someone else was already sitting there. I looked over toward the hallway leading back to Nate’s office in time to see the two of them approaching it. Nate had his hand at the small of Gabe’s back and the sight was enough to make me sick. My stomach pitched and rolled as if it was the morning after a total bender.
I pivoted on my heels and headed back to Meredith. I shook my head in answer to the silent question I read in her eyes. The music switched over to one of my favorite songs, but my mood to dance and be social had passed. The only thing I wanted to do right then was go home and curl up with my pets.
“Let’s go, sugar,” Meredith said, reaching for my hand.
