“I’m all up in there,” I said, purposely misunderstanding what he said. I emphasized my physical location in his body by pressing against his prostate with both fingers, causing his back to bow off the bed. He was so fucking responsive to my touch and it made me want him that much more.
I removed my fingers from his ass, earning a snarly growl from him, so I could suit up. Josh snatched the condom packet out of my hand and ripped it open with his teeth before he sat up and reached for my cock. Once he had the condom rolled on so that it snuggly gripped the base of my cock, he smeared more lube up and down the length of my erection.
“I like it hard and wet.” Josh climbed out from beneath me and got to his hands and knees so that his ass was up in the air invitingly.
Whether it was another attempt to avoid intimacy or not, it was a temptation that I couldn’t ignore. Josh wanted it hard, so I decided to give it to him harder than he’d ever had before and would not stop until he lay beneath me in a boneless heap. Hard, however, didn’t mean cruel, so I allowed time for him to adjust to my penetration before I set out to give him what he had demanded from me with his body and words.
I gripped his hips tight and pounded in and out of him, the sound of our skin slapping together was music to my ears. The needy moans coming from Josh spurred me on and I thrust hard enough to push him down flat on the bed. I followed him down and covered his body with my own, careful to keep most of my weight on my forearms as I kept up the furious pace of my fucking.
“Do you feel me everywhere?” I asked Josh. I didn’t want to be the only one who felt that way. When I was inside him, it felt like he was a permanent part of my body; an inked tattoo on my soul that marked me for life.
“Y-y-yes,” he confessed in a pleasure induced stutter. “E-everywhere,” he echoed.
I rode him hard, tagging his prostrate with every slam home. “You’re going to come so hard for me, Josh.” I knew the added friction of the comforter against his cock, as I thrusted long and deep inside him, was driving him out of his mind.
“So hard.” His words sounded slurred, as if he was drunk on the pleasure I gave him.
I gripped his hair and turned his head, exposing his neck for my lips. I needed to have them on his body as I felt him coming apart beneath me. I felt my climax begin to build and burn inside me. Sometimes my climax would come on fast and would end just as quickly, while others would build slowly and roll through me languidly. That night was a slow burn that began in the base of my spine and spread throughout my entire body. I savored each second of nearly painful pleasure as I felt Josh begin to unravel beneath me.
His breathing became choppy as he worked to pull air into his lungs, his fingers had a white-knuckled grip on the comforter, and his ass had a stranglehold on my cock. “Come for me, Josh,” I commanded as I loomed closer to an orgasm. “Give me everything.”
“Greedy bastard,” he gritted out, but there was no heat to his words – just intense pleasure.
I could tell he was trying to hold back, probably out of spite. “Stop fighting me,” I growled in his ear. “Come.” Josh’s body stiffened beneath me before he came with a shout. “That’s right. I want all of it.” I fucked him until there was no fight left in his body and pleasured purrs were the only sounds he made.
I slid my arms beneath his chest and held him even tighter to my body, as I became a rutting beast, pistoning in and out of him. The pressure built inside me until I felt like I was going to implode. The pleasure released throughout my entire body as I flooded the condom I wore. I kept working my cock in and out of him as my orgasm rolled through me and only stopped when the last tremor faded from my body.
I knew that I was too heavy to collapse on him like I wanted to, so I gently pulled out then rolled off of him and onto my back beside him. I turned my head and looked over at him to find him watching me through hooded eyes. I wanted to close mine and rest a minute but I was pretty certain that staying wasn’t something he wanted me to do.
“Are you hungry?” I asked, scrambling to find a way to spend more time with him.
“I could eat,” he replied, but then narrowed his eyes as if a thought just struck him. “You mean here, right? Like you were going to get up and cook something you found in my refrigerator and cabinets.” Panic was starting to creep into his voice and I hated that I made him feel that way, but I found myself wanting to push him a little more.
“I was thinking the diner,” I answered casually, as if it was no big deal.
“But people will see us and start talking,” he replied, trying so hard to rein himself in.
“Are you ashamed of me?” I tried to keep a light tone in my voice, even though I wasn’t joking. I needed to know if clandestine fucks were all I’d ever be to him. If so, I needed to decide if that was something I was interested in.
“It’s not a matter of being ashamed of you,” Josh replied seriously. “It’s a matter of the gossip and bullshit that will be flung around like manure behind our backs. I’ve had enough of that lately and I don’t want any more.”
“They’re going to talk anyway, so why not give them something real to blab about rather than let them speculate and make shit up.” I was probably going to lose the battle, but I wanted to give it one last shot.
Josh closed his eyes and became so still and quiet that I wondered if he had fallen asleep. After a few long moments he opened his eyes and the regret I saw in his eyes negated the need for more words. I reached over and ran the back of my hand down the side of his face in an attempt to comfort him, even though I was the one who felt burned by his rejection. I tamped my feelings down so that I wouldn’t show him just how much I was disappointed.
“It’s okay,” I told him, even though it wasn’t.
I leaned over and kissed his cheek before I rolled out of his bed then went into the bathroom to throw out the condom and clean up. He was still in the exact same spot that I left him in and he didn’t turn or acknowledge me in any way as I got dressed, or when I left.
My heart pinched painfully in my chest as I walked down the stairs and let myself out through the back door. I loved the way I felt when he was in my arms, but hated the way I felt afterward. I decided then and there that I wouldn’t let myself fall into his bed or him into mine anymore. There was only so much rejection a guy could take and I had reached my limit.
THE SMALL PART OFme that wanted to believe in everlasting love and happily ever afters wanted to say yes to Gabe. That part of me wanted to sit proudly across from Gabe and get to know him better over a shared meal. I could learn about his favorite music or movies; I could learn about his family and life before he moved to Blissville. But that part was so small that it was easily overruled by common sense. Sure, I knew on some level that I could be pushing away one of the best things to happen to me, but I couldn’t put myself out there again.
Practical Josh, who liked routines and consistency, outshouted Feisty Josh, who dared to take risks and chances. Being a Gemini was tough work; it wasn’t easy keeping the twins balanced and happy. Feisty Josh felt slighted because I only let him out to choose clothes and brightly colored underwear. Oh, and he picked out my convertible Mini Cooper because no way in hell Practical Josh would’ve picked out that bright teal color.
But he asked you out to dinner in a public diner. He’s not trying to keep you a secret.That was all I had ever wanted with some of the guys I “dated,” but I was no longer happy with just that.It’s a step in the right direction though. How can he prove himself to you if you won’t give him a chance?That was true, but I felt a pull to Gabe like I had never experienced before I met him. Everything was more intense, including my mistrust. I knew that, if given the chance, he could hurt me far worse than those from my past. I did what I thought was best for me and pushed him away.
I acted like a complete asshole to Gabe and he didn’t deserve that from me. I felt horrible about the way I reacted to his question, but there wasn’t anything I was willing to do about it. Besides, I was pretty sure I saw the last of him unless we met in an official capacity. I felt a new tension in the air when he left that had never been present between us, not even when I confronted him when he was about to say that I was too feminine for his taste.
