“He must know how to use it like a porn star,” Adrian remarked and then chuckled. “I hope he’s keeping their names straight.”
We had a good laugh at Rocky’s expense because the guy was a complete asshole and deserved it. “Okay,” I said, trying to get us back on track, “let’s go have a talk with Darlene Harrison then. I’m sure church ladies are full of information.”
“You know what they say,” Adrian said as we left the interview room. “The biggest sinners sit in the front pew.”
I’d have to take his word for it, because I didn’t have firsthand experience. I’d heard enough bullshit talk about same sex love being sinful, so going to church wasn’t something that interested me. I had heard that open-minded churches existed, but I had never encountered one. I didn’t have a problem with God; it was organized religion that angered me beyond reason. How many wars were fought in the name of religion? Too many to count, so I decided a long time ago that I would choose to do good things in my life and be a good person. It would have to be enough.
“I think it’s time to talk to Georgia’s attorney again. I understand he wanted to make arrangements for her funeral, but that’s all been scheduled. How long does it take to copy a will from a file and provide a copy to us?” I asked.
“Good point,” Adrian agreed. “Church, lawyer, and then lunch.”
I looked at my watch and noticed it was only ten in the morning. I didn’t anticipate that either stop would take very long. “A bit early for lunch, isn’t it?”
“Some of us worked up an appetite last night,” Adrian said. “I haven’t been the only ravenous person this week. I do recall someone eager to eat lunch early yesterday.”
He had a point. “I’m good with an early lunch.”
FUNERALS SUCKED – PLAIN ANDsimple. They brought out the best and worst in people. I stood in the back of the funeral home with my entire staff from the salon to pay our respects to Georgia on Thursday evening and shook my head at the spectacle in front of me. The place was jam packed wall-to-wall with people who supposedly stopped in to pay respects to her, our town’s former first lady. What I saw was a bunch of harpies and gossipmongers who were looking for a juicy story.
I wondered what Georgia would think about the circus her viewing had become. The funeral was planned for the following morning at Sugar Grove cemetery and I asked myself how many of herfriendswould brave the blistering weather that was anticipated to say goodbye to her. I suspected not many. Well, one thing I knew for sure was that no one could find fault with her hair or makeup. I made damn sure of that when I prepared her for her big night earlier that day.
I didn’t do hair and makeup on deceased people very often because the funeral home had their own staff who did that, but every once in a while, someone requested my services and I always obliged them. Oddly enough, spending time around deceased people didn’t creep me out; it was the living ones that often made my skin crawl.
Georgia wasn’t just someone to me, so I called the owner of the funeral home and told them that I wanted to do her hair and makeup one last time. I just couldn’t let her go into the afterlife with helmet hair and the wrong shade of lipstick. Georgia detested pastels and I knew she’d be very unhappy if she was stuck with pale pink lips for eternity. So, I used her favorite shade of ruby red and dared anyone to remark upon it.
My staff and I had finally made it to the front of the line to pay our respects when the muted whispers stopped and a hushed stillness spread over the room. I turned to see what was going on when I spotted Rocky and Nadine standing in the archway to the viewing room chosen for Georgia. I felt my jaw clench in anger and I had to wonder just how big were their balls? I couldn’t believe that they had the nerve to show up after what they’d done to Georgia. In my mind, they could go to church and ask for absolution; her visitation wasn’t the place to cleanse their souls.
At least Nadine had the grace to look both uncomfortable and sad as the crowd parted for them like the Red Sea did for Moses. In my opinion, it was because of the gatherings’ eagerness to witness the spectacle rather than any respect felt for the mayor. Rocky placed his arm on his young wife’s elbow and guided her straight to the front of the room where Georgia lay in her coffin. I had the irrational notion of shutting the coffin lid so that the two people who hurt her the most in the world couldn’t see her. They shouldn’t have been there at all.
Then my eyes landed on a gorgeous man in a dark suit standing in the back of the room who appeared to only have eyes for me. I got caught up in Gabe’s intense stare and found myself feeling centered again. I felt like I’d been in a constant tailspin since learning that Georgia had died. I desperately wanted to get my life back to normal, but my brain cautioned me that relying on another person to help me find my balance always ended badly. I broke my connection with Gabe and stepped aside so that Rocky and Nadine could pay their respects and get the fuck out.
Of course, Rocky was in no hurry to shed the attention that was bestowed upon him right then. He stood looking down at his first wife and shook his head sadly, as if he had so many regrets. I didn’t consider myself a violent man, but I really wanted to drive my knee into his ball sac and laugh as he collapsed on the ground, gasping for air. It was a lovely image.
Meredith must’ve sensed the path my thoughts were heading because I felt her small hand on my forearm, as if she was stopping me from going through with my evil plan. Who knows, maybe I would have, but Meredith was a reminder of the good things in my life that I’d miss if I went to jail for assault. She wasn’t the only person in the room I’d miss; I adored my staff and my clients. There was someone else in the room that I’d sort of miss seeing around, but I’d be damned if I’d admit that to him.
I turned back to look for him and saw that Adrian and Sally Ann had joined him in the back of the room, but I wasn’t sure he was aware of their presence because he still had his eyes locked on me. I tried sending him a silent signal to quit it before the entire town added the two of us into their tongue-wagging stories.
“You did good, Josh,” Nadine said softly, pulling my attention away from the detective in the back of the room. I saw so much regret in her eyes and the sad smile she gave me. “She would’ve hated to wear a pastel or neutral color.”
“She would’ve haunted me for the rest of my life,” I replied.
Rocky looked at us like we were mad and it didn’t surprise me that he didn’t know anything about his first wife’s preferences after being married to her for more than two decades. Rocky cared about one thing only – himself. “Let’s get going, honey,” he said to his wife. Nadine stiffened at hearing the endearment roll off his lips. It looked to me that there was trouble in paradise.
My staff and I paid our respects and then moved out of the way so that others could do the same. I tried not to look at Gabe as we walked in his direction, but it seemed someone in my staff had an altogether different idea because one of them tripped me from behind just as we came up on him.
“Whoa there,” Gabe said, throwing his arms out to catch me.
I immediately pulled myself out of his arms when I got my equilibrium back even though I really wanted to remain pressed against him and sniff his aftershave, cologne, or whatever he used to make himself smell like sex on legs. I turned and pinned my staff, who I also erroneously considered my friends, with a death glare. They all wore an innocent expression on their faces and gave nothing away.
I turned back to Gabe and mumbled, “Thank you,” before I resumed walking toward the exit.
We all decided to head over to the diner for dinner together before we went home. The diner was practically empty with the majority of the town crammed inside the funeral home looking for a cheap show. I figured that a lot of them would be heading to the diner afterwards, so I was happy to beat the crowd and get back home before I had to witness any more pathetic behavior.
Daniella brought us menus as if we didn’t have the damn thing memorized after eating there our entire lives. Much like the town of Blissville, the menu never changed. We gave our orders to Daniella without even glancing at them.
I ignored the stares I was getting from everyone at the table. “So what, I ordered the fucking beef stew,” I exclaimed after several awkward moments of quiet. “I don’t care what day of the week it is, I wanted some motherfucking beef stew.” I might’ve said that a bit too loud because Emma poked her head out of the kitchen window. Just great! I’d be getting another call from my mom, or worse – an emergency visit home.
“Yeah, Meredith,” Chaz said, as if she’d spoken up. “He wants some motherfucking beef stew.”
