I drove for hours and every mile freed me from my misery because I knew I’d see him and he’d make everything right with his words and his kisses. I knew Mark better than he knew himself and I knew just where to find him on a Saturday night. He’d be in the park near Howard and Dorey’s looking up at the stars. We’d found a secluded place that we liked to retreat to for making out and sharing our plans for the future. He was exactly where I thought he’d be, except he wasn’t alone.
My Mark, the guy I pinned all my hopes on, was between the legs of another guy and too lost in the fucking he was giving to know I was even there. He was the Mark who told me we needed to wait because I was too young. He’d never let me go as far as I wanted with him because he wanted me to be sure. He acted like the two-year age difference was a huge deal, but it wasn’t to me. I backed away as quietly as I could as tears raced down my face. It seemed he didn’t miss me at all and perhaps all of the words he whispered in my ears were nothing more than lies.
I decided to reinvent myself during my drive back home. I’d stop bucking the system and do what my father expected from me. I thought maybe if I did that, he’d approve of me and maybe learn to love me someday. It was the only hope I had left and I clung to it.
“Mitch?” Mark’s deep voice brought me back to the present.
“Yeah, I heard you.” I turned to look at him, grateful he couldn’t see the hurt in my eyes. “Your wishes came through loud and clear.”
“I want you to start deducting payments out of my checks each week to pay you back for legal counseling. I’m not taking no for an answer.” His jaw was firm, angry looking even. I couldn’t understand where the animosity was coming from.
“Whatever you want, Mark.” I’d have the accounting department deduct a manageable weekly sum from his check each week.
“I want to see the legal bills so I know you’re not giving me a break. I mean it, Mitch. This is very important to me.” I could see that he’d made up his mind and that he wasn’t going to let fifty bucks a week slide. Well, he had me by the short and curlys so I’d give him what he wanted.
“Agreed.” Sure, I could get Duncan to bill me separately and pass along whatever sum I wanted to Mark, but I wasn’t going to do that. He wanted to pay for his own counsel, then so be it.
We pulled up in front of the police station a few minutes later. I saw Duncan standing on the steps outside the precinct and pointed him out to Mark. “There he is. Just do what he tells you and you’ll be fine.”
“You’re not coming?” He looked confused, possibly a bit worried even.
I started to reconsider, but then I recalled the way the memory of his betrayal hurt me along with his surly attitude that morning and decided I had made the best decision for me. I had to look out for me because I had learned the hard way that no one else would.
“I have an important call to make. You’ll be fine in his very capable hands.”
Mark studied me for a few minutes and I could tell he was reading me to look for hidden messages behind my words. “Go on now, Mark. He’s on the clock right now and the billable hour meter is running. Trust me, you want to get this over with as fast as you can. Did you bring the lube with you?” Maybe it was cruel, but it made me feel better.
Mark said nothing else before he left the car. I smiled to myself when he shut the door a little forcefully. I didn’t watch him walk away from me. I didn’t want to see the way his suit hugged his long, muscular lines or the confident way he carried himself. Nope, it would do nothing to make me feel better.
Instead, I whipped out my phone and placed the call I should’ve made last night. Vanessa Ramsey operated the best escort agency in L.A. I was one of her favorite clients and I was lucky enough to have her private number on speed dial. I squelched the feelings of guilt that rose up while I waited for Vanessa to answer. Mark had made it perfectly clear that he wasn’t interested in more than friendship with me, outside of one flext, and I owed him nothing.
“It’s been a long time, darling,” she purred into the phone. “What can I do for you?”
I looked over to where Mark shook hands with Duncan. “I’m in the mood for some company tonight, Vanessa. Tall, medium brown hair, green eyes, with a nice, muscular body. My hotel suite at eight o’clock. Do you think it’s doable?”
“Anything for you.” I heard her fingernails clicking on her keyboard as she immediately began to put my night into motion. “Ah, perfect,” she said into the phone. “I have a new guy that you’re going to love. He fits your requirements perfectly and I hear he sucks cock like a Dyson vacuum.”
I couldn’t help but laugh at her description and I felt much lighter for taking control of my riotous emotions and making plans for the evening. Hmmm, I couldn’t go out on the town without my bodyguard though could I? It was only fair that Mark got to experience what I had when I was fifteen years old. He wouldn’t see my actual interaction with the escort, but he would know exactly what I was up to. Some images you never get out of your head, no matter how hard you tried.
“You always please me, Vanessa. I want to get back to my routine of three nights a week. I’ve turned into a very dull boy.”
“Fabulous.” I knew she was hearing dollar signs cha-chinging in her head.
I disconnected the call and began working through my emails on my phone. I would put all of my energy into my work until I met with the escort that night. I would fuck him like it was my last night on earth and then I’d smile smugly at Mark when I laid eyes on him afterwards. I would not allow him to have power over me. He wanted us back across that line and I’d push him so far back he wouldn’t know what hit him.
