“What’s on your mind, Mark?” I could tell something was eating at him.
“Did it bother you when I shot Timothy tonight?” he asked after a long pause. “Is that a side of me that bothers you?”
“Honestly, I was more upset about the gun he had trained on you and not the other way around.” I cupped his face in my hands. “You weren’t acting like a cold blooded killer like Timothy. You were doing your job and protecting me.” He stiffened at my choice of words and I hoped he didn’t think that was all he meant to me. Regardless, I wasn’t taking any chances. “Those were poorly chosen words. You are so much more to me than a bodyguard, Mark, and I’m pretty sure you know it.” He relaxed visibly and I continued.
“Since you’ve come back to my life, you’ve become my best friend and the person that I trust above all others – with all aspects of my life. I went about pursuing a relationship with you all wrong by flirting shamelessly when I should’ve just told you how you made me feel and the things I truly wanted with you. Dare I say that the year that passed would’ve been a little less lonely for both of us?” Mark nodded his head in agreement. “I realize now that I haven’t been alone in my feelings this whole time like I had thought.” I smoothed my thumbs over his beautifully structured cheekbones. “You might want to prepare yourself for my next words because they might feel like they’re coming out of left field.”
“I’m not afraid,” he said confidently and smiled wickedly at me in return, almost as if he was anticipating what I was about to confess.
“I’m in love with you, Mark. I loved you as a scared teenage kid who had lost everything and I love you even more now as a man who knows exactly what he wants out of life. I want you – a life with you until I take my last breath and maybe beyond. I don’t know if a life commitment and marriage is something you’ve ever considered before and I…”
Firm lips cut off the rest of what I was going to say. When Mark finally pulled back from his kiss his eyes looked suspiciously moist and were a beautiful dark shade of green I had yet to see.
“I love you too, Mitch. I can honestly say that you’re the only man I’ve ever loved and the only one I’ve ever dreamed of having the kind of life that you described. It won’t be easy you know. We’re two strong-willed jackasses at times, but I have faith in us to get through it. We’ll have to work on our communication skills, yes?”
“Definitely.” I laughed at some of the misunderstanding we’d had over the past year when neither of us wanted to give an inch. Well, we wanted to give several inches, but were too stubborn and guarded to act on our feelings. “I promise to never use an escort to prove a point and you can promise to never refer to me as a ‘problem.’”
Mark narrowed his eyes over the escort comment, but didn’t say anything. I had apologized to him as sincerely as I could for my behavior and all I could really do was show him that there was no one I wanted above him. The past twelve hours leading up to our joint shower taught me a lot of important lessons, but the top of that list was never wasting a moment showing and telling him what he meant to me and how he made me feel.
“I love you,” I said to him again, loving the way it rolled off my lips.
“I love you more,” he replied with a smug look.
“How do you figure?” I asked, playing along with him.
“Let me count the ways,” he said. He began to rattle off some of the dumbest things I’d done where he was concerned over the last year, but he softened each declaration with a sweet kiss, which told me he was joking. Mostly, anyway.
The water streaming from the showerhead started to turn cool and I realized we’d been in the shower longer than we anticipated. Maybe the hot water revived us a bit or maybe it was the declarations of love that had kept us upright longer. Either way, as soon as Mark turned off the shower I felt the exhaustion starting to creep back in. We toweled off and climbed beneath the covers on the double bed, which was way too small for both of us. It might not be the luxurious accommodations I was accustomed to, but I had Mark spooned up behind me and that was all I needed to fall into a deep, restful sleep for a few hours.
