Mason is not going to be happy about this. Then again, he’s not here, so how you choose to defend your family is up to you, not him.
Noah lets out a deep sigh. “What am I supposed to tell him? We haven’t exactly spoken since those thugs tied us up.”
I press two fingers to my temples. “You can tell him that I’m worried. I don’t know if that’ll help…”
“Lo….” The longing in his voice is a punch to the gut. “I know I was hard on you when I first found out about the deal you made, but it’s not too late. We can still have the life we wanted.I’m willing to overlook the past few months. Just come home, please.”
I want to grab the lifeline he’s offering with both hands.
Noah is offering me stability and normalcy, and a life I can already picture, right down to the matching Christmas outfits.
But sometime in the past few months, it stopped being what I wanted.
Mason is all I can think of, and all I can imagine for myself.
He’s everything I never knew I wanted, and I ache at the thought of leaving him, even if it means having to look over my shoulder all the time.
It’s a small price to pay for the chance to be with Mason, even if I am scared to admit it.
There’s a lump in my throat when I answer. “I’m sorry, Noah.”
There is only silence on the other end.
I pull the phone away from my ear, check it, and put it back again. I clear my throat and speak again but in a quieter voice. “Are you there?”
“I don’t know what you want me to say.”
I ignore the pounding in my ears. “We’ve been through a lot together. I don’t want it to end this way.”
Noah sighs. “It’s hard for me to believe when you say that, London. Especially because of how easily you’re throwing everything away and turning your back on us. I thought I knew you.”
“You did know me,” I whisper. “But it turns out I didn’t know myself all that well.”
“I’ll check on your father, but don’t call and ask for any more favors.” Noah’s voice trails off toward the end. “I’d say I hope it works out for you, but I wouldn’t mean it.”
My breath hitches in my throat. “Noah—”
“Goodbye, London.”
The line goes dead, and I’m left with an ache in my stomach and bile in my throat. For a long time, I stand in the middle of the room, listening to the dull thudding in my ears. Finally, I leave the phone on the bed and stumble into the bathroom. After switching on the lights, I grip the sink and avoid looking at myself in the mirror.
I cup my hands together and splash cold water on my face.
When I pat myself dry, I tell myself that I’m doing the right thing and that ripping the band-aid off now is better than down the line.
Noah will thank me when he has a woman who loves him with everything in her and has no doubts.
Someday, he’ll be surrounded by children and a doting wife, and I’ll be nothing more than a passing memory.
Still, it’s hard to ignore the twinge in my chest as I step out of the bathroom and cross over to the door. I yank it open, and Katia is standing there, examining her nails. I snatch a leather jacket from behind the door and shove my arms into it, taking comfort in Mason’s familiar spicy cologne. Then, I square my shoulders and close the door behind me. Katia doesn’t look up as she steps in front of me, blocking the hallway.
“Look, we both know you don’t want to do this.”
Katia’s expression gives nothing away. “No?”
“Come on. I’m not an idiot, and I’m not blind. I know there’s history between you and Mason.”
Katia says nothing.
