He’s got the resolve in his eyes that I love, the kind I want to drown in.
But it feels like everything is falling apart, and I’m standing in the middle of the debris with blood on my hands.
All those disruptions, and all those lives lost, no matter what Mason says, are at least partly my fault. While I don’t regret staying with Mason, I know he’s right about one thing.
Keeping it physical would’ve made it a hell of a lot simpler for both of us.
Mason wouldn’t have enemies beating down his door, and I wouldn’t be cooped up and afraid for the lives of the people I love.
We’ve let it go too far, but I don’t know if realizing that now makes any difference.
I can’t turn back time.
Despite my earlier protests, I know Mason is right about what they’ll do if they get their hands on me.
Serving myself up to them isn’t the answer if Mason has any hope of winning this.
That’s assuming they don’t gut you on the spot. That’ll be a lot more merciful than what they could do. People like the ones who kidnapped you won’t have any qualms about carving you up like a turkey and bleeding you dry for information and secrets.
There’s no room for error here, and I know it.
My sacrifice would only make things worse, but I keep circling back to it as if the answer will magically present itself.
As if I think about it hard enough, I’ll be able to bring this war to a screeching halt.
There’s nothing you can do, London. You’re just a girl who was helping her father and fell in love with his jailer in the process. You’re not the first woman to lose her heart like this, but you need to tread lightly.
“I don’t have any regrets,” Mason says slowly. “Fuck all of them. Fuck everything. I wouldn’t do any of it differently.”
My heart swells to twice its size. “Not a single thing?”
“I wouldn’t have wasted so much time fighting it, but that’s about it.”
A half-smile lifts the corners of my mouth. “I know what you mean.”
I’m cold all over, and Mason’s expression turns serious. “It’s better if I get to Noah first. My father suspects he might be involved.”
Terror floods my veins. “You told him?”
When it comes to the good of the empire, I know Mason has to put those interests first, but it still stings to know he didn’t come to me.
“It wouldn’t have mattered if I had. My father likes to stay in the loop. He had you checked out, but he did a more thorough background check. Learning about Noah’s father probably tipped him off.”
I furrow my brows. “What does his father have to do with anything?”
Mason straightens his back. “Nothing or everything. We’ll see.”
“Send someone else to take care of it,” I respond. I reach for him, but Mason steps out of my reach, and his expression turns stony. “It would be better. Noah is more likely to fess up if it’s someone he doesn’t know.”
Mason’s eyes sweep over my face, tight and calculating. “You don’t trust me to be objective?”
“Honestly? No.”
Mason nods and turns away. “I see.”
I place a hand on his arm and wait for him to look at me. “It’s an impossible thing to expect given the circumstances. I wouldn’t be objective if it were one of your exes.”
He pries my fingers away and strides out of the room. I stare at the space he occupied for a long time, the tightness in my chest only growing worse. Then I take the stairs two at a time until I’m standing in the doorway to his room. I wrench open the nightstand drawer, my fingers trembling as I take out the phone.
