But we’d consciously avoided talking about the monsters inside the house.
Then he’d carried me into the bedroom where our passion had exploded all over again.
Another moan and he thrashed, fighting with the covers. Anxious, I turned on the light on the nightstand before scooting toward him.
His face was covered in sweat and he was tossing back and forth in his sleep. “Sasha.” When he didn’t respond to my voice right away, I placed my hand on his arm. He was so tense, his muscles strained. Even his jaw was clenched so tightly I feared he’d crack a tooth.
He mumbled but was still completely asleep. Even his hands were fisted. What in the hell was he dreaming about?
“No. I’ll fucking kill them.”
Now I was concerned. “Sasha. Wake up. Come on. You need to wake up. You’re having a terrible?—”
I was unable to finish my frantic words. He reared up from the bed, twisting, and without hesitation, his fingers snapped around my throat and pinned me to the bed.
His entire face was twisted in rage, his nose and brow scrunched as he bared his teeth. “Going to fucking kill you.”
While he spouted off a string of words in Russian, I struggled to breathe. His hold was tight, his fingers digging into my neck. There was no air.
I fought him, struggling with everything I had, but the covers kept my body twisted in a knot.
Stars floated in my periphery of vision and within seconds, the light begin to fade. I had both hands wrapped around the wrist of the one arm holding me down, but there was no way of breaking free.
There was also no recognition in his eyes. Nothing. They were shimmering like glass, his pupils completely dilated. He yanked me off the pillow, immediately shoving me down. His fingers dug even harder into my neck.
The light continued to fade. I sensed I was losing consciousness.
“Sa… sha.” Somehow, I managed the single word.
Suddenly, something snapped within him, his eyes opening wide.
With a hard jerk, he pulled away, almost tumbling to the floor.
“Oh, my God. Lainey. Lainey. Oh, Jesus. What the fuck did I do?”
Coughing, I sputtered as tears slipped from my eyes. When he dared lean over me, I slammed my fists against his chest with what little strength I had left. My vision was still foggy and my mind was incapable of processing what had just happened.
“Get off.” I couldn’t stop crying. He’d been dead asleep. He wasn’t trying to hurt me. But I knew that this wasn’t the first time he’d had a terrible nightmare and it certainly wouldn’t be the last. “Please. Just…”
Whatever hell he’d been through had changed him for the rest of his life.
And there was nothing I could do about it.
He took the hint, climbing off and backing away. He was still tense with his face twisting from the horror of what he’d done.
With my hand wrapped around my throat, I stumbled backwards toward the bathroom. I wiped my tears with my other hand and he watched everything I was doing intently.
Without talking to me, he grabbed his trousers, jerking them on as if needing to head to a fire.
The truth was he wanted to get away from me.
“I’m sorry, Lainey. You have no idea how sorry I am.”
With that he walked out.
Stunned, I moved into the bathroom, barely able to flick on the light. With my head down, I placed my hands on the surface of the counter almost as if in slow motion. My breathing was still ragged, wheezing from being constricted.
He didn’t mean to hurt you. He’s not like that. He was dreaming.
