She was so sleepy that even in her voice I could tell she was delirious. “Let me go,” I whispered to him. “She’s sick. Maybe from ice cream followed by the huge glass of milk she had when she came home. Let me hold her for a little while. Maybe I can coax her back to sleep. I’ll see if she has a temperature. Okay? Please?”
I wasn’t certain if he’d be furious. Instead, his eyes were filled with sadness. “Yes. Okay. If you don’t mind.”
“I’ll be right there, honey. Okay?” I asked, doing everything I could to hold back the rupture of emotions.
“Okay.”
I pushed him gently. “It’s okay. I’ll take care of her.”
He climbed off, immediately moving away while I scrambled to get dressed. I was feeling a little woozy myself. The moment was awkward, especially since he didn’t say anything.
I headed to the door, looking back only once. It was as if a cardinal rule had been broken, the fantasy shattered into a million pieces as the reality of his life and mine hit hard.
As I walked out, I felt the need to whisper even if I was the only one who would catch the words.
“I love you.”
In those few seconds, I hoped he would respond even if it was grunting acknowledgement of what I’d said.
Yet as always, he remained silent.
CHAPTER 23
Sasha
Well,fuck.
After struggling into my clothes, I thumped down on the couch, grabbing the bottle of vodka and filling the entire tumbler. What an arrogant ass I was.
I’d reacted as if what my daughter had said while half asleep was some crime. Shit. I shook my head and took a swill of the drink. Insensitive much? All my daughter had been doing for the past few days had been teasing us about getting married. Why would it shock me that after the time we’d spent together, my daughter might have begun to think of Lainey as her mother?
Was I jealous that Nina had wanted her to come take care of her? If so, what kind of monster did that make me?
My head was spinning, a sharp pain right behind my eyes. Yeah, you could call me the most insensitive asshole in the world.
I sat back, placing the drink on my knee. Visions of Lainey’s face continued to power through my mind, one coming after another. A movie reel from the day I’d met her.
Her smiles. The way her nose upturned when she laughed. The way she flipped her hair over her shoulder both while performing and just while being herself. A little flirt.
The way she nibbled on toast, taking the tiniest bites.
Or the way she licked an ice cream cone. Far too dainty.
More important, the way she appeared when she was in the throes of passion.
I couldn’t think clearly and it pissed me off. My reaction was unacceptable and especially since I’d seen the look of shock on Lainey’s face. I’d hurt her, something I never intended on doing. I’d told her the truth. I wanted her with me. Not just until I could ensure her safety, but for the long haul.
Even this was out of character for me.
Somehow, I doubted she’d want the same after the way I’d acted.
Even after what she’d whispered. I’d heard the words. I’d had a chance to respond and like a dick, I’d had no idea what to say in return.
Which was a fucking lie.
I shifted down, resting my head on the back of the couch. Maybe I could find a way to make it up to her. Maybe she’d forgive me. Maybe she’d… My baby girl was in good hands. The best hands in the world. She’d be okay. Just a tummy ache. Mmm…
Jesus, my head was fucking killing me. Closing my eyes, I tried to stop thinking about Lainey. So difficult to do and…
