Five weeks ago, I had Gregory. I deserved to be punished for what I did, for killing a man, but I thought I could get over it because I’d saved Gregory’s life. For the last five weeks, I’ve been trying to make sense of everything that happened and the only conclusion I’ve drawn is that nothing makes sense without him. Not my involvement in the hostile takeover, not my dad being murdered as a result, not my burning desire to seek revenge, and not my incurable need to touch and feelthatman.
I’ve realised things may never make sense again without him. I’m ruined for anyone else. Forget anyone else, I’m ruined in my own right. But the one thing I’ve been able to cling to, the one thing keeping me from dropping off the cliff of sanity, is knowing that I didn’t loseallof Scarlett Heath. I took that shot because it was the right thing to do. Gregory escaping prosecution, escaping twenty-five years in a prison cell.Thatwas the world telling meIdid the right thing.
Now it’s all unravelled. I don’t have him and I don’t have confirmation that I was on the right side of justice.
3
‘You son of a bitch.’
‘Scarlett. Not exactly the first five words I expected to hear from you after five weeks of silence.’
‘Here’s another five. You. Are. An. Arsehole.’
‘That’s four words.’
‘You are an arsehole, Gregory.’
He sighs, and despite my fury and trembling hands, I can’t help wondering where he is, whether he’s sitting or standing, whether he’s inthatpose and wearingthatsuit. A fact that adds to my rage.
‘Scarlett—’
‘No, Gregory. Stop with your fucking lies. It’s my turn to speak.’
‘Scarlett, I’ve never lied to you.’
‘Withheld the truth, then. Frankly, I don’t give a shit because they both mean the same thing to me. Deceit.’
I don’t sound like myself. My level of hatred and the filth leaving my mouth are surprising even to me. I’m as livid as I’ve ever been and the four dry martinis I polished off are amplifying the effect.
‘You know, for days after you ended us, I felt like my world had come crashing down around me. I did something sinful, something wrong, and something that the person I was before you would never have done. I killed a man. And as warped as it sounds, that made sense when I had you. When I could see you might finally be free of your dark and twisted world. A world you wouldn’t share with me. You were alive and that was my justification.’
‘Scarlett—’
‘Shut up! I said it’s my turn to talk.’ I rise from the queen bed of my hotel room and look out to the orange glow of Dubai’s skyscrapers against the dark night sky. ‘When I got here and realised I didn’t have you any more, I lost my justification for… everything. Pearson, my dad. I was a mess. Then I realised you might not love me but I love—lovedyou enough to know that, despite everything, I was right to take that shot because the alternative is unthinkable.’
I swallow the emotion that stings the back of my eyes, throbs in my chest, and threatens to unsteady my voice. He won’t hear me break. Not now.
‘As much as I don’t regret saving your life, Gregory, I broke the law, and I deserved to be punished for that. At the very least, I deserved to be tried in a court of law.’
‘Scarlett.’ He sighs, his voice gentle.God, I miss him.‘You did the right thing. Pearson deserved to go to hell. We were cleared.’
‘No, Gregory.Weweren’t.’ I sit back onto the soft duvet and put my spinning head into my free hand. ‘You told me once that I had to trust you. You told me you got the police involved so that I could move on. Properly. You told me that I had to promise you, if you got a verdict of no charge, I would take that asourverdict. That we would both be free.’
‘And we are, Scarlett. The CPS didn’t charge me.’
‘But it was bullshit, wasn’t it? It wasallfucking bullshit. You never had any intention of letting the law make that decision.’
‘What are you?—’
‘Katrina Martin just paid me a visit.’ I hear his sharp intake of breath. ‘Tell me it isn’t true.’
‘Tell you what isn’t true?’
‘Don’t fucking bullshit me, Gregory! I was an idiot. So blinded by you, by not wanting to lose you, that I didn’t see what was right under my fucking nose. Jackson and Barnes weren’t just friends, were they? He didn’t just forewarn you about the ballistics report; he gave you a chance to fix it. You were paying him off.’
‘Scarlett—’
‘Say it! You bought the CPS decision, Gregory. For once, tell me something true.’
