I literally froze up at the sound of her voice, so I didn’t say anything. It was almost impossible for me to speak.
“Is it you?” she asked.
“What’s going on?” I finally found my voice.
I wasn’t going to confirm or deny if it was me because she knew that it was me. She had to have gone through all kinds of trouble to get my number, so she was aware of who she was speaking to.
A minute had gone by, and she still hadn’t said anything. As badly as I wanted to hang this phone up on her, curiosity had gotten the best of me, and I really wanted to know the reasoning behind her call.
“I won’t contact you after this. When I go, I want to go with closure, and that’s why I’m calling,” she said.
When I go.Those three words stood out to me, and it made me question if she was planning on committing suicide. They’d found her guilty of attempted murder, and she would probablynever get out. It would be years before she could get a parole hearing, and even if she was still alive when it was time for her to get a hearing, it wasn’t set in stone that she would get out.
I still didn’t say anything. I didn’t want to. I didn’t want to have to speak about the part that I played in ruining her marriage, that caused her to lose her mind, pull out a gun, and try and kill me. I wasn’t proud of the part that I’d played, and I really wanted to forget all about it.
“Hey, ummm, I don’t want to talk about this. If you have any questions, I suggest that you go to Garrus because I don’t care to talk about it. What I will be is woman enough to offer you an apology. I am sorry for the part that I played in destroying your marriage?—”
“My marriage with Garrus was already destroyed. It had been destroyed long before you came along. You were just the straw that broke the camel’s back. Garrus was all that I knew. We’d been together since we were children. I loved that man more than I loved myself. I don’t expect you to understand what that level of betrayal feels like. To carry children for him, where each of my pregnancies were high risk, nearly losing my life with each baby that I carried for him, and in a way, I feel like it was all in vain. I don’t expect you to understand what this kind of hurt feels like. I’ve lost myself being in here behind these walls. I thought that it would make me feel better if I detached myself from him, and filed for divorce, even while I was locked up, but the pain still lies there,” she replied, and I kept quiet.
There was a moment when we were both quiet for about two minutes.
“I guess in a sense, you don’t owe me anything. My husband took vows with me, and he was the one that was supposed to honor them. You weren’t. I wish you well, Dionne, and I pray for a better happily ever after for you than the one that I was able to get,” and just like that, she hung the phone up.
I was shaking so badly. The things that she said to me really spooked me. I quickly turned the curling iron off, and I rushed out of the bathroom. I went down the hall, looking for my mom’s bedroom.
I knocked on the door, and I heard her voice from the other side of the door, telling me that I could come in. When I walked in, my mom was sitting at the vanity area that was in her bedroom, and she was doing her make-up. I closed the door behind me, and I was visibly shaking. She noticed it immediately, so she stood up, and she came over to me.
“What happened?” she asked, with worry in her eyes, trying to see what was going on.
“Garrus’s wife just called me. Ma, that shit freaked me out. I feel like she’s about to kill herself,” I said, walking away from her, and I went for her bed, going to sit at the foot of it. I felt like I was getting ready to pass out, which is why I sat down.
“Garus’s wife? Isn’t she in prison? How the hell did she even get your phone number? What did she say to you? Why would you even accept the charges?” she was firing question after question at me, causing my head to start spinning.
I looked up at her, shooting her a look, basically letting her know that she was doing too much, and even she knew that because she calmed down a little bit, and she took a seat right next to me on the bed.
“I didn’t accept charges. She didn’t call me from the prison phone. She called from an actual cell phone, and kept blowing me up, so that’s what made me answer. Ma, the shit she was saying on the phone, I know it’s only a matter of time before we see something on the news, saying that she killed herself. Then, she started asking me questions, wanting closure, but I told her that I wasn’t getting into all of that with her. Ugh. I hate that I even picked up the phone. Now, I’m about to let this mess ruin my mood. Ugh. I can’t seem to catch a fuckin break,” I snapped,throwing my body back into the bed, lying on my back, and out of pure annoyance, I placed the palms of my hands on my forehead.
“Dionne, stop that shit. Don’t let that woman fuck up your mood. Should have never answered the damn phone. When you did pick up, and you heard that it was her, you should have hung up and blocked her ass. You walked yourself right into that fuckin trap,” she said, putting her hand on my thigh, and she hit me, basically telling me to get up.
Like my drama was the least of her worries, she went back over to the vanity, so that she could finish doing her make-up.
“I just wish I could go back into time,” I voiced.
“You can’t, so please stop saying that. Dionne, what’s done is already done. You accepted your wrongdoings in the part that you played in their marriage. What? You going to keep punishing yourself for that shit? Move the fuck on from that!” she snapped at me. This is what I meant when I said that my mom could be so hard. That shit was annoying as hell sometimes.
“I can’t wait until my daddy comes home. You give the worst advice. You act like a damn drill sergeant,” I said, and she laughed at what I said, as I stood up from the bed, so that I could go back into my room, and finish getting ready.
“You want your daddy to come home because you have him wrapped around your finger, and that’s not how it is with me. Your daddy tells you what you want to hear, and you know that’s not me, either. You know I’m going to always keep it real with you,” she continued in her rant.
I didn’t even reply. I just left her room, so that I could finish getting ready. I was going to try my hardest not to dwell on this. Oh, and to avoid the cursing out from Tank, and him getting upset with me because of the secrets that I would keep from him, I was going to make sure that the first moment him and Igot a minute to ourselves today, that I let him know what just happened between me, and Garrus’s wife. I didn’t need part two of the night that we had at his house, where he told me that he didn’t trust me.
Chapter 17
Rico Briggs
Consequences
“You serious about this move to Cali, huh? Cali so fuckin big. Who you even know out there? Who you going to hang out with when you get bored? I just feel like whatever you can do in Cali with your career is the same shit that you can be doing in Maimi,” I said to my little sister through our facetime call.
