“I feel like ma will probably date, but she won’t get into anything too serious. She’s waiting on Dionte to come home from prison. If his ass gets off on parole, I’ll bet every penny in my account that she’s going to get back with him,” Tommie said, referring to my daddy.
“Girl please. Nobody worried about Dionte ugly ass,” my mama snapped, and when she said that, I sucked my teeth.
My sisters heard me when I did that, so they both looked over, and laughed.
“Alright ma. Stop because you know she be ready to fight over her damn daddy,” Free said to her.
“I know. A bitch gotta walk on pins and needles about what I say about Dionte whenever her ass is around,” my mom replied, moving away from the pot, and she came closer to where Free was standing, so that she could post her body against the counter.
Free took her eyes off the dishes and looked at my mom.
“You didn’t confirm or deny what Tommie said. You going to get with Dionte when he comes home from prison?” Free asked her.
“No. That man has been locked up for the past 30+ years. You know the number of hoes he probably has lined up to fuck? Dionne, don’t get in your feelings when I say this next part because I know your ass, but I also don’t know what the hell hisass was doing in there sexually, so he can’t come home and touch me?—”
“When he calls me in the morning, I’m going to tell him that you said that. Make sure you pick the phone up too when he calls you, so that he can curse your ass out. You know damn well my daddy wasn’t in there messing with men,” I fussed, ready to get into that mode where I would beef with the entire world about my daddy.
“Dionne, relax. Nobody said that your daddy was in there messing with men. I said that I don’t know what he was in there doing, and because of that, he can’t come home and touch me. Your daddy is charming, and he knows what to say and do to get whatever he wants out of a woman. I wouldn’t be surprised if he was in there fuckin the women C.O’s that work there. All I’m trying to say is that that chapter of my life is done. Me, and Dionte did our thing. I think we will be better off as friends,” she voiced, and I didn’t say anything else after that.
“Out of all your ex’s from the past, it’s not one that you’ll spin the block on? It doesn’t have to be any of our dads, either. I’m speaking in a general sense. You don’t have your eyes on anyone?” Tommie wanted to know, coming over, and she handed my mom a cup of what she’d finished making for us.
My mom took the cup, and Tommie sat one on the side of the counter for Free, so that she could drink it when she was finished with the dishes.
“No. They’re all exes for a reason. They can stay in the past. If I do date again, it will have to be something new, and fresh,” she responded, picking the drink up, taking a sip, and she made a face like it was too strong.
Tommie then came over with two cups in her hand, handing one to me, and another one to Tailynn. Tailynn was twenty- one years old, so she could legally drink now, but her ass has beendrinking. Hell, Tommie would fix drinks for her since she was like eighteen.
“Ma, what’s that dude that you used to mess with when we were kids? I don’t remember his name, but you really liked him. You used to always drop us off to grandma house, so that you could go out with him. He had a bald head. He came to the house a couple of times,” Tommie said, and as she was asking that, I could feel beads of sweat began to form on my forehead, my mouth got that funny taste inside, as if I was getting ready to throw up, and I could feel the bubbles that were forming in my stomach.
All of this was happening because I knew the person that she was speaking about. It was Tank’s dad that she was asking about.
“Girl, Torrence’s ass. He was a fuckin drunk. I couldn’t do all that damn drinking. I haven’t seen his ass in years. Probably since I stopped messing around with him all those years ago. I know he’s still alive because Missy told me that he’s on that bottle bad these days,” my mom went on to say. Missy was one of my mom’s close friends.
This conversation was too much for me, so I politely removed the cup from in front of me, and I stood up from the chair. When I did that, all eyes turned, and they landed on me.
“I’m about to go home. I don’t feel good. Plus, I have a headache,” I released, ready to get in the car, so that I could go.
“Dionne, the food not even finished yet. Go in mama medicine cabinet and just take something for your head. You kill me with that shit. You so fuckin moody!” Tommie snapped on me.
Any other day, I would have had the energy to go back, and forth with my sister, but I didn’t have the energy to do it tonight, so I just grabbed my purse that was on the counter, holding it in my hands.
“Dionne, what’s wrong with you?” Free asked me, rounding the corner, and she stood in front of me.
I was taller than my sister, so with her in front of me, I had to look down at her, while she was looking up at me.
There was a huge lump in my throat, that was causing me pain because I was fighting like hell to keep my tears to myself. I was killing myself holding onto this secret, running away from it, and not letting the situation get handled. Just the sound of his name, a picture of him, had the ability to shake me up, and cause so much pain, and that’s why I was trying to get away, so that I could have a moment to myself in the car, on the drive home.
“Nothing,” was all I said, and my voice cracked while I said it, which caused me to break eye contact because my eyes watered up, and I didn’t want to see the look on her face when she saw that I was getting emotional.
My mom was still standing in the kitchen, but when she heard the crack in my voice, she came over, standing right next to Free, while looking at me.
“It is something wrong with you. What is it? I know you’re not mad at me about that shit that I said about your daddy. You know that was just jokes, and I was only talking shit,” my mom said.
I only wish that that was the reason for my pain right now, and that it wasn’t something heavier.
“I’m fine. I don’t want to talk about it. I’ll text in the group chat when I get home,” I said, trying to cut by my mom, but she wouldn’t let me. Like I was a damn child, she pulled my arm, making me go right back to the spot that I just came from, and there was a no bullshit look on her face.
“Or you can stand right here and tell me what the problem is. If somebody said something to offend you, speak on it! What’s the issue, Dionne?” my mom really wouldn’t let it go.
