“That’s Candace. She’s not new, you just haven’t been around in a while. I swear if that woman didn’t do such a fucking good job, I’d fire her ass,” he mumbles. I chuckle and he scowls at me. “Continue.” He motions at me and I’m tempted to ask questions, but let it go for now. He’ll talk when he’s ready.
“Like I said, he sexually abused her. He would force her to orgasm because in his sick mind, if she did, it meant she wanted him. So, I haven’t pushed that yet. Friday night she stayed over and for the first time, I stripped in front of her. She touched me.” Guilt gnaws at my chest. “I made her stop and told her I wanted her, but we wouldn’t be doing that until she was ready. And she asked me how I would know she wasn’t ready because I never tried.”
I lean forward and put my head in my hands. A ball of emotion wells up from my chest. Trying to swallow, I realize it’s traveled to my throat. I’ve fucked up. I hurt her, and didn’t mean to.
“So, what are you going to do about it?” he asks.
I look up. “What do you mean?” My voice is rough, but I don’t care.
“What do you mean, what do I mean? That was your opening man. She touched you of her own free will. Not because you told her to, and you rejected her.” He lays it out, not mincing words, which is why he and I get along so well. He’s a no bullshit kind of guy. “Why did you stop her?”
I furrow my brows. “Because of what she went through with Donovan,” I say, like it should be obvious.
“Are you sure?”
He relaxes back into the couch again and gives me a searching look. Drawing in a long breath, I think back over the last few months. Anytime she tried to move beyond just the kissing, I’d stop it. The only time I didn’t do that was when she got me the jersey, but even then I slowed it down.
Malachi sighs. “Listen, what Josie did to you was fucked up. Liv isn’t the only one with trauma man. So, stop just focusing on hers and focus on yours too. Maybe you’re using Liv’s trauma as an excuse not to get burned again.”
Part of me wants to lash out and tell him he doesn’t know what he’s talking about, but I take his words in and really think about them. “I told her what happened with Josie,” I tell him.
“That’s good, man. Now, you need to be honest with her and yourself about why you’ve been hesitant about going to the next level with her. I’m not saying you don’t care about her trauma because it’s obvious you do, but don’t let it be an excuse. You’re a good Dom. Don’t let what happened with Josie convince you otherwise.”
I inhale slowly and nod. “Alright. So, how do you think I should handle the orgasm issue? She said she would try so hard not to come, but he would force it out of her. I’ve been trying to figure out how to help her through that.”
He thinks about it for a moment when his eyes light up. “Try edging her. Make her so desperate for it she’ll want to come.” He arches an eyebrow at me, and I nod in agreement. “You two need to do a scene working through the shit he did to her.” He pauses. “And maybe a scene working through what Josie did to you.”
I recoil immediately, but he tilts his head at me like he’s asking if I’m being a hypocrite. I huff, but don’t say anything.
“It’s something to think about. Of course, she’d need some training to make sure she knows what she’s doing. If you decide you want to do it, let me know and I can talk to Missy.” I nod, albeit hesitantly. I trust Malachi, but it’s something I’ll have to consider for a while before agreeing to do it.
Chapter forty
Olivia
I’ve been avoiding Victor, which is hard when he has two security guards following me around and the fact he’s my Dom. I huff and swallow down the lump of emotion that has been present in my throat since Friday night. He’s sent me a good morning text every day and asked me to send him a picture of the outfit he chose for me. When he dropped me off at my house on Sunday afternoon, he chose all my outfits for the week.
Monday morning I was so hurt and mad I hung them all up, then pushed them to the back of my closet. I haven’t worn anything he picked out all week. It’s Friday, and he hasn’t said anything about me not sending him pictures, which pisses me off.
He’s my Dom. I’m his sub and I’m being disobedient. Isn’t he supposed to punish me or something?
There’s a knock on my office door. “Come in,” I reply. Forcing myself to get it together. Caroline opens the door and enters. I smile at her. She’s glowing.
“Hey,” she greets me and closes the door behind her. She sits in a chair across from my desk.
“Hi. How are you feeling?” I ask her.
She scrunches her nose. “Like a Beluga whale.”
I laugh and shake my head at her. “Well, you’re a very pretty Beluga whale.”
She smirks at me and takes a deep breath. “Are you busy? I can leave. I just needed a break, and I wanted to check on you.” She leans back in the chair and sighs.
“No, I’m not busy. I’m kind of waiting for five o’clock. And I’m fine. Why did you want to check on me?” I ask her.
Caroline stares at me and it actually makes me a little nervous, like she sees all my secrets. “Liv, you know I love you. Right?”
I open and close my mouth a few times, surprised. “Yes. I love you too.”
