“I don’t have any questions today,” she murmurs before turning back to her plate.
“I fucked up last night,” I admit.
She huffs as she puts a fry in her mouth. “I didn’t realize you could admit such a thing.”
“Kenz—”
“Drop it. Please.”
I stare at her profile for several seconds before exhaling deeply and picking up my sandwich. I’ll drop it for now, but once I give her a few days to process whatever memory she had. Then I’m getting answers.
Chapter 12
McKenzie
Ilook up from my book and watch Phoenix as he works. Since the memory I had a few days ago, he’s been hovering. He hasn’t gone to his office in the city, instead he’s been working here. Today he’s keeping me company in the library instead of working from his office across the hall. Maybe he’s nervous after last time. That I’ll leave again and this time not come back. ButI made the decision when I came back that I wouldn’t be leaving again. Ever.
The memory I had the other night showed me who was behind taking me the first and second time. It wasn’t my father. Part of me is angry at Phoenix for this grudge he has against my father, but I understand. The one person he’s wanted to please the most has manipulated him his whole life.
I’ve been contemplating these past few days on how to handle this new information. Do I tell him or not? I’m demanding honesty from him; I should do the same in return. Will he believe me? I have this sinking feeling it’s going to be difficult for him to give up a lifetime of belief.
His eyes find mine over his laptop like he could feel my eyes on him. One side of his mouth tips up as I climb off the swing and walk toward him. I’ve missed his touch, his kiss, the feel of his skin beneath my hands. His eyes travel down my body, his gaze landing on the anklet I found the day I came back and haven’t taken off since.
I’m wearing a light blue dress that stops right above my knees. I have a lot of dresses that are comfortable and make me feel beautiful and sexy. And the way Nix looks at me in them makes me want to wear them every day. I stop in front of him and he places his laptop on the end table next to the sofa.
“What are you working on?” I ask him. He leans back, spreading his legs wider so I can step closer. He leans his head back against the sofa pillows as he stares up at me. His tattooed hands clench against his thighs before he relaxes them.
“There’s a fight this weekend. I was reading the stats of each fighter,” he answers. My eyes widen in surprise. I forgot about the fights. He mentioned it months ago, but nothing since. I lean forward and place my knee between his legs on the sofa. His eyes drop to the cleavage on display, my lips, then back to my eyes.
I lick my lips as I inhale deeply. “Will you take me?” He smirks, his hands rubbing up and down his thighs, like he’s trying not to reach out and touch me. I wish he’d give in.
“Yes.”
He has respected the boundaries I’ve put up. But I want him. I want him to distract me. To remind me why we’re so good together. I wanthim. I straddle him and his smirk turns into a full-blown grin. His hands rub up my thighs, to my hips, and grip my ass as he pulls me into him.
“I was wondering…” I trail off, losing some of the nerve I had.What if he turns me down?His grip on my ass tightens as he rocks me against him again. His hardness presses against me and I have to bite the inside of my cheek to stop myself from moaning.
“You were wondering?” he prods.
I run my hands along his shoulders, his black T-shirt stretched tight along his chest and biceps.He’s so sexy.“I was wondering, did you ever have fantasies of doing things in the library at Brighton?” I swallow. “With me?”
His muscles tighten beneath my hands and I swear I feel his cock twitch against me. He sits up, bringing his chest against mine, his hands rubbing up my back. One hand cups the back of my head and the other comes around to hold my throat loosely.
“I did.”
My breathing increases as he confirms what I think I may have already known. “Tell me,” I whisper, scared to break the spell.
His hand tightens slightly around my throat. “One fantasy was me crawling under one of the tables and making you come on my tongue as you read one of your books. Reminding you if you made one sound I wouldn’t let you come.” He arches an eyebrow as I rock against him. “We were in a library after all.” I huff a laugh.
He licks his lips as his eyes fall to mine, but he still doesn’t lean forward to kiss me. “Another fantasy was pulling you back into the stacks and fucking you against one of the bookshelves. Kissing you breathless to silence our moans as you came all over my cock.”
I close my eyes and tilt my head back, imagining doing that with him. He could have done anything to me and I would have let him. Even now, I’d let him. He runs his hand through my hair, down my back, and back to my ass, pulling me against him again. This time he rocks into me and I swear I feel his piercing through his sweats and my panties.
He finally leans forward and kisses me just below my ear, the hand that was around my throat drifting down to cup my breast, his thumb circling my nipple. “You always thought the only interesting thing about you was your hair,” he murmurs against my neck. I tilt my head, giving him better access as he sucks the skin between his lips and teeth.
“I love your hair, but I always felt like your beautiful brown eyes could see the depths of my soul. Your slender throat was made to be marked by me and me alone. Your long legs were meant to be wrapped around me as I thrust into you. Your strength and heart called out to my black heart and made it beat again.”
I lean back and stare at him. His ice-blue eyes connect with mine and I see the truth there. Phoenix means every word. He’s not the kind of man that says things he doesn’t mean. He’s never painted this picture of himself as the hero. No. He’s the villain and I know without a shadow of a doubt he would tear this world apart to find me. The decision I’ve been playing with the past few days clicks into place.
