He’s said that before and I remember it. “Neither do I,” I whisper as his lips land on mine again. He has no idea how much I’ve longed for him these past two months. I know we have a long road ahead of us, but we’ll come out on the other side. There isn’t another choice.
Chapter 9
Phoenix
McKenzie is leaning against the door as Rex drives us to the piano bar, trying her best to stay as far away from me as possible in the confined space. From the time she was in my office until now, she’s gone deep in her thoughts and is now pulling away from me. I want to force her to talk to me, but I don’t want to be anything like her father. From the things she’s told me about growing up, I know her father was a hard man.
He didn’t allow her to speak her mind. He didn’t give her the comfort she craved. And after her mother died, he shipped her off instead of dealing with her emotions. I stare at her profile as she looks out the window. Then he sold her. In spite of all that, she still has this hope that he’s a good man.
No matter how many times I’ve told her he’s the one that took her, she refuses to give up. I know she remembers who took her the first time. If she doesn’t tell me soon, I’m going to have to get it out of her by telling her I know she’s lying. I exhale slowly.Why would she lie about that?
She shifts slightly, the soft glow of the moonlight reflecting off her hair.She is gorgeous, and she has no idea.I have missed being able to stare at her whenever I want over the past couple of months. Unable to stop myself, I lean over slightly and rub her jaw with my knuckles and push her hair behind her ear.
She startles slightly, like she’s deep in thought, but she doesn’t push me away. She turns toward me, her lips tipping in a slight smile.The days and weeks when I first got her back, when she’d flinch anytime I’d try to touch her…Things were different after I got her back the first time, but not like these past months after she lost her memory.
I wanted to fulfill my promise that I would make it good for her. I did anything but that in the beginning. So, in my own way, I fulfilled that promise during those months when she realized we were married. I stopped trying to stay away from her after that day she called me out on my bullshit, but it wasn’t anything like it has been.
We experimented. A lot. We used the auctions as a way to delve deeper into the Master and pet role playing, but there was always something missing. She remained at arm’s length and nothing I did helped.
When she gets the rest of her memories back, will it be like that again? Did something happen when she was taken the first time to put me at arm’s length?
I inhale slowly and focus on her.
“What are you thinking?” I ask her. Her tongue darts out, wetting her lips as she looks down at her hands clasped tightly in her lap.
“Are you sure you want to know?” she whispers. Rex and I share a look in the rearview mirror. I grip her chin lightly with my forefinger and thumb, lifting her face until she looks at me. I want her to see the truth in my eyes. She swallows as she returns my stare.
“Yes, love. I want to know. I may not like it, but I have always encouraged you to speak your mind. I never want you to water down anything for me.” She pulls her bottom lip between her teeth as she gathers her courage and I drop my hand, giving her time to collect her thoughts.
“The night of the auction,” she begins. “My father stopped us as we were leaving and said he had someone else that was going to buy me.” Her voice cracks and my heart aches. “And you knew.”
I stare at her, contemplating what to tell her. I finally decide she needs to know the truth. If this is going to work between us. I have to be honest with her. “I started going to the auctions when I turned eighteen. It was a plan my father and I had come up with. Try to infiltrate The Society and its council, but I learned your father was on the council and part of the bylaws to become part of the council was to sell your first-born daughter.”
Her mouth drops as her nails dig into her jean clad thighs. “Aren’t you on the council?” she asks.
I nod. “Yes. You can sell your first-born daughter or buy someone else’s daughter to be on the council. I chose to buy you.”
She closes her eyes and inhales slowly. “So, you weren’t trying to save me at all. You were using me.”
“No,” I reply right away.
Her eyes pop open. “What?”
“I wasn’t using you. I knew your father was going to sell you. He had planned on selling you to the dean.”
Her hand comes up to her throat as she processes what I’m saying. “The dean of Brighton?”
“Yes. But your father didn’t go to every auction. So, he didn’t see the two other girls the dean bought and had sex with in front of everyone. I don’t know what he did with those girls after, but I knew he wasn’t going to abide by his agreement with your father. I knew you’d wind up in horrid circumstances. So, yes, I bought you to save you. But I also bought you because I wanted you. I’ve wanted you since the first moment I laid eyes on you.”
She doesn’t respond, instead she stares at me wide eyed, probably trying to decide if she believes me or not. “Why didn’t you tell me that? Instead, you made me believe…”
“I told you I bought you because I wanted you. That was the truth.”
Rex pulls up in front of the club before she replies. “We’re here, sir.” Kenz stares at me before inhaling deeply. When she turns to get out of the car, I put my hand on her thigh.
“I’ll come around.” I share another look with Rex, and he gives me agood lucklook. “You can pick us up in a few hours.” He nods as I get out. I know he’ll park the SUV and stand outside with our other security, but Kenz doesn’t know that, and I want to make this as much of a normal outing as possible for her.
Glancing around the street, I see one of the new security guys waiting a ways down the street. He blends in nicely, like he’s waiting for someone. Rex has been trying to talk me into hiring these guys for a while now. Ever since we got McKenzie back, he’s been convinced there’s a leak within.
