“Stop,” I cry out, my voice strained as I interrupt his meaningless apologies. I saw enough, and it all makes sense now.
He never pushed her away. Indigo’s been parading around town insulting me with no regard for our relationship or the fact we’re expecting a child together, has infiltrated his family, scheming against me to keep us apart and yet he knew it all along and never forced her out of Crossroads like he should have.
“Baby,” he whispers, broken and confused.
“Stop calling me that when it means nothing to you.” I want to believe him, but I’ve always been pragmatic. Logical yet attuned to my intuition, but logic is what I need to survive this. I see fact over fiction. Reason over emotion.
“Baby, she means nothing to me, I swear it’s not what you think.”
I shake my head. The ache is so strong, but I also feel numb to it all. To grief, sorrow and betrayal. It was what I was raised to overcome, and in one moment, I realized my entire life’s purpose had been a failure.
I don’t want to feel. I never cried over my mother’s abandonment. I met it with fury and resentment. My father’s affection and respect was something I promised myself I wouldn’t ever need when I had Monty.
“That’s not true,” I say, barely able to get the words out. “She wouldn’t be here if she meant nothing.”
My brothers and friends gather around us, but I’m too distraught to feel embarrassed by what I’m about to say next. “None of it was real, remember?”
“Don’t say that,” he interjects, but I don’t listen.
“It’s the truth. None of it was real, and it’s about time everyone knew it. It was all a game,” I shout out, maniacal laughter leaving me because I’m losing my goddamn mind. It’s better than losing my heart. “A hoax meant to get your mama and everyone else off our backs because of the huge fucking mistake we got ourselves into.”
“Don’t call us and this baby a mistake,” he chokes out, the sound betraying his actions. A flush creeps up his neck, eyes red and glossy as anger and hurt rise within him.
“I would never, but that’s what happened, isn’t it? We drank too much and fucked, losing all inhibitions and our minds all because it felt good. I end up pregnant, you try to do what you think you should, and we end up here. Pretending we're in a relationship and lying to everyone we love.”
He reaches for me, and I’m too tired to pull away. Taking my hands in his, he brings them to press against his chest. I can feel the frantic rhythm of his heart beating wildly along his skin.
“It was never fake to me, and you know that. I’ve loved you from the start, Moonshine, and only went along with thisbecause I felt it was the only way to get you to realize you love me too. But nothing about us or what I feel for you is fake.” Defeat consumes him when I don’t answer, his voice straining with emotion as tears fall down his cheek. “You’re everything to me, baby. You and our baby are my world.”
“Then why does it feel like she’s still everywhere?” The words tear out of me before I can catch them as I pull out of his grasp. “She’s always around, Jase. In your mama’s home, in our home. Crashing Christmas dinner, ambushing me in town and claiming she won’t give up fighting for you. Plotting alongside your mama to keep us apart. She’s a ghost from your past we can’t get rid of, who will continue haunting us so long as she’s near. I can’t keep wondering if she’s going to be the thing to finally take you from me.”
He recoils as if I’ve struck him. I hear gasps from behind me, and I know what I said was harsh, but it’s the truth. He let her stay, made it seem like she’d just wander off on her own when we both knew that was never her intention.
“Baby, no. I love you,” he says hoarsely, falling to his knees before me. He reaches for me, hands flying to my waist as he pulls me toward him. “I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life. Indigo means nothing to me. She never did, if I’m being totally honest with myself. Please don’t let this be what breaks us.”
Tears blur the world around me. My chest aches, splintering apart as his words just continue to haunt me. I want to believe them, but I feel so much at this moment that I can’t see reason beyond the pain and humiliation I feel.
“I can’t do this right now.”
“Monroe, baby, please,” he begs, his arms wrapping around my waist as he kisses my stomach.
He buries his face against me, and I can’t help but weep at the sight of him, begging me to stay. I want to, but everything inme is telling me this won’t be the end of her. If I stay, I’m only proving to her I’m the kind of woman she thinks I am—someone broken who can’t function without depending completely on another. Desperate for love. To be wanted and needed, never abandoned.
“I need time,” I whisper. “To think about our future, about whether we even have one.” His lips part, but no words come out, so I say my last goodbye. “I once begged you to break me to make me feel, but I never thought you actually would.”
And then I walk away from the sound of my heart breaking, warping into something hollow as it fades behind me. What should have been a perfect day collapses into my worst nightmare.
Chapter Forty-One
Jase
Ican’t sit still and pretend my entire world isn’t falling apart. Not when I can barely breathe or function without losing my mind.
The baby shower had ended hours ago, the barn now empty, and the aftermath of a violent war was scattered across the floor. Everyone had gone home or out to look for her yet forced me to stay behind. Her brothers couldn't even look at me, and other than the punch Nash got in on me, they did nothing, which essentially hurt worse than if they had beaten me to death.
They didn’t outright believe me as I explained it all, but deep down they knew how much I love Monroe and that I could never hurt her in this way. Bailey, however, scolded me for being such a fucking idiot and letting Indigo play us the way she had. I deserved it, every single thing she threw my way, every word Monroe said to me, but I wouldn’t sit still and lose the one real thing I’ve ever had.
This won’t be how it ends.
