“You wouldn’t believe me if I said, or you’ll run and hide, refusing to believe it. Either way, it’s not something I’m risking tonight.” I brush him off, annoyed that he knows me so well. “I meant what I said. I’ll make sure this looks real.”
“Right,” I say, my voice guarded as I turn away. “For the baby.” I whisper the last part more to myself as a reminder of why we’re doing this. Our baby is the priority, and if it weren’t for him or her, none of this between Jase and me would be happening.
The truck rolls over a patch of blacktop, the tires humming beneath us as we pull into the King Ranch. Jase is quiet the rest of the way, deep in thought, and it makes me highly aware of how little air there’s between us in this truck. I roll down the window, needing some fresh air as I recall the weight of his handover mine at the table, the way he looked at me when I opened the locket, the teasing in his eyes when I kissed him.
I want to tell him it doesn’t feel fake anymore. Somewhere between the pretense of it all and the actual performance we put on, it feels like I’ve stopped playing.
Though I keep quiet when I feel his hand on mine. “Yeah. For the baby.”
Ishould have gone to bed.
Instead, I’m sitting on the plush rug in front of the fireplace, my knees drawn up to my chest, and a soft blanket Beau gave me as a gift wrapped around my shoulders. The flames paint the room in gold and amber shadows flickering against the walls.
From down the hall, I hear a door creak open, footsteps closing in as Jase steps into the room. I haven’t moved all of my stuff into his room, and I figured there was no point in staying there when Indy hasn’t taken me up on the offer of staying here. In reality, I'm afraid of what I might do if I find myself in bed with Jase again.
He’s changed out of his shirt from earlier and is now wearing nothing but a pair of sweats, his hair a little mussed from sleep or lack of. He looks just as fucked up as I do about the situation.
I’d like to say I’ve gotten used to the sight of him without a shirt, but that would be a damn lie. Perfect muscles, toned and tight, flex as he walks toward me. I can already see the bulge in his sweats growing the closer he gets. His chest is beautifully tanned, light blonde hair trimmed to perfection leading low past the V-shape that makes my mouth water.
“Couldn’t sleep?” he asks, taking a seat on the floor beside me. He smirks like he’s caught me ogling him, and my gaze has given away my thoughts.
I shake my head. “Too much coffee, or maybe too many cinnamon rolls.” I lie because saying, I can’t stop thinking about what it would be like to fuck you again, to feel your hands against my skin, and for all of this between us to be real, seems a bit too presumptuous given the circumstances.
The warmth from the fire and the heat radiating from him is almost enough to make me forget about tonight and everything that’s happened since last night.
“You did good today,” he says. “No need to worry.”
I frown, not quite understanding him. “Good?”
His smile is kind, like he’s really trying to reassure me. “With your brothers and my siblings. It wasn’t easy, I know, but I’m certain they believed it.”
I let out a long breath. Of course he’s talking about the act we put on. For a second, I'd forgotten it was just an act because that’s not how it feels.Why am I so reluctant to accept the possibility of something real between us?
It doesn't feel like this with anyone else. So comfortable and genuine. He’s easy to talk to, and sure he makes me mad, but he also makes me laugh. My trust issues and fear of abandonment are so front and center in my mind, reaching farther than I ever imagined they would. I don't know how to tune it all out and give in to what he’s so willingly offering me.
A chance at something real. A chance at forever with him by my side. Safety, security and everlasting, unbound love.
Jase’s eyes soften when he notices my confusion. “You seemed comfortable with me. I know they believe we’re together. You know, I meant what I said.”
I blink once again, confused but also mesmerized by how fucking perfect he looks. “Meant what?”
“That I’m grateful for second chances.” He hesitates. “And for this. For you.”
My pulse stutters as he runs a hand over my cheek. His thumb traces my bottom lip, and I let out a soft sound that sounds too much like a moan. “Jase…”
Jase doesn’t pull away, his palm cradling my cheek as I lean into his touch. “I know you think we’re supposedly doing this for the baby, but every day, it feels more real. You know where I stand, baby.”
I swallow hard. The fire crackling around us is the least dangerous thing in this room I can be burned by. “That’s dangerous.”
“Yeah,” he admits quietly. “But maybe it's worth it.”
The room feels too small as his knee presses against mine, and I can feel the steady, quiet rhythm of his breathing. I should pull back, tell him goodnight and run up to the safety of my bedroom, but I don’t.
Instead, I lean my head against his shoulder, and his arm comes around me without hesitation. The weight and heat of it ground me in a way I haven’t felt in years.
As does the slow acceptance that the line between what is real and what’s pretend has already blurred beyond saving.
Chapter Twenty-Two
