The three of them spin on their heels and head out of the bar. Billie quickly follows behind them after giving me a tight hug that tells me she’ll be waiting too if I need her.
Jase doesn’t waste time, immediately speaking once they’ve left. “Monroe,” he says, clearing his throat. “I can’t let you walk away, not like this. Not with you thinking that what happened between us, what is happening between us, means nothing.” I shake my head, unsure whether to believe him or not. “I’ve told you I can’t stop thinking about you. I want to be there for you and our baby.”
“Things are easier said than done, Jase. There's so much history between us, so much hate between our families. This isn’t just about us. It’s about our baby’s future. Our siblings' futures. Nash and Bailey are in love, and that’s not changing because you think they betrayed you.”
His gaze moves to the hallway leading toward their apartment before returning to me. “I’m willing to leave it all in the past, to move forward with creating a future together. Just you, me and our baby.”
Everything he’s saying sounds genuine, but it’s also something I’m not sure I want. It hurt me listening to him say what he did, not because I had caught feelings for him, but because I once again felt like I wasn’t good enough. I know what happened between Jase and me was a mistake. I knew it the morning after as I ran out of his hotel room, and I knew it today when he confessed it had meant nothing.
Yet a part of me, the annoying part that lay buried in my subconscious, daydreamed about the possibility of this becoming something more. That’s why it hurt so much—because of the false hope I’d nearly fallen victim to.
That is why I can’t let this situation get any more confusing than it already is.
“I don’t know if that’s what I want.” The look on his face makes me feel gutted. Like I just punched him in the face with my words. “I’d never keep your baby from you, Jase. You will be a part of its life no matter what, but that doesn’t mean that we will be anything more than two people who have a baby together.”
He takes a moment to process what I’ve said before he responds. “What if I want more?”
“I can’t speak for you, but I’m not sure I’m ready for more. I’ve barely wrapped my head around the idea of becoming a mother. I can’t be a girlfriend, a wife, any kind of partner when I don’t even know who I am anymore.”
“I know you’re strong, brave, and the most incredible woman I’ve ever met. And I know you’ll be an incredible mother.”
“In order to do so, I need some time to think.”
“Will you at least consider it?” I look at him slightly confused. “Moving in with me. I know saying we’d get married was stupid, but I want to be close to you and our baby. I don’t want to be an outsider getting a glimpse of what it’s like. I want to be on the inside every step of the way.”
“I’ll think about it, but I’m not making any promises, Jase. Goodbye.”
Chapter Thirteen
Monroe
Present
Interior design is my passion. From the time I first walked into a furniture showroom with Monty when I was nine years old, the art of design immediately caught my eye. Monty had taken me to buy a new bed shortly after my mom left, as he was grasping at straws trying to figure out what would help make a little girl forget she'd been abandoned. A frilly pink comforter and a princess canopy did just the trick, but it wasn’t the only thing that had me feeling like a little girl at the town fair.
Each showroom was impeccably designed and fully furnished as if it were in a home. From large family living and dining rooms, fully functional kitchens with state-of-the-art appliances, beautifully styled bedrooms for everyone in your family, and even some neat luxury bathrooms that could only be meant for five-star hotels and resorts.
It inspired me to jump into the world of interior design when I enrolled at the University of North Carolina, and soon enough I was interning wherever I could gain any experience. It wasn’t until I graduated and moved back in with Monty thatI did it full time. I partnered with him every summer while in school. From choosing flooring and paint colors to furnishings and countertops, I was meticulous in the way I put together my designs. Experimenting with different styles and patterns of tile was something Monty had to get used to since he could never see my vision until it came to life. However, every step of the way, my big brother supported my dreams and even invested part of the capital to allow me to open Monroe Avenue.
I remained solely partnered with Montgomery Builds, but began doing freelance projects on the side over the last few years. Until now I've had some amazing clients I’ve worked with all around North Carolina, and soon after the birth of my baby, the goal is to jump right back into it all. I miss it.
For now, I'm taking some time to gather my thoughts and get used to the idea of the current predicament I’m in.
I’ve painted plenty of walls in my life, though I prefer to hire professionals, but never have I felt so out of sorts staring at a blank canvas. There’s nothing more daunting than designing a nursery for my baby.
Undecided as always, and even more now that I have such an important decision to make, I left the Red Barrel with four gallons of paint. I stare at the swatches of Sherwin-Williams paint, starting from a lighter shade of Santorini Blue to a dark Storm Cloud blue-gray.
All shades will fit perfectly with the neutral tones of the rest of the furniture and decorative pieces, but choosing a paint color is always the hardest part of any project. Specifically, one so important as my baby bear’s nursery. I went for gender-neutral tones paired with blues in case it’s a boy. Yet the shades of blue I chose will fit perfectly with the aesthetic of the rest of the house, even if I have to add in some pink accents if it's a girl.
“Monroe Bishop,” Jase drawls as he enters the room. “Barefoot in cutoff jeans and one of my old T-shirts, hair pulled into a sexy mess, how lucky am I to get to come home to this.”
I roll my eyes at his teasing and turn back to the paint swatches on the main wall of the bedroom.
“Huh,” he says, his tone playful as he comes over to join me, his eyes focused on the paint. “Blue, blue number two, another blue and gray. How will you decide?”
“Stop being a jerk, Jameson. If you knew anything about design, you’d understand how incredibly different these shades will look. The lighter blue might change in tone with the color and thickness of the curtains. Whereas the darker blue-gray tone will change when the sunlight enters through the large bay window.”
His gaze turns curious as he tilts his head to look in closer at the colors. “Then which one will you choose?”
