Though being around Monroe made it all make sense, because I felt the same way about her.
As I approached the silver sedan, I suddenly felt uneasy. I caught sight of a woman bent forward over the steering wheel. From this distance, it didn’t look like she was moving.
“Monroe,” I said as I tapped on the glass. She startled, and her hand flew to her chest as she rolled down her window.
“Shit, Jase, you scared me.”
She still looked beautiful, even with the imprint of the steering wheel on her forehead and cheek.
“Sorry, I thought you had passed out or something.”
Running a hand through her tangled hair, she yawned. “No, just tired.”
“I thought you’d gone home?” I was suddenly nervous to be around here after what we’d said earlier tonight. There was something about Monroe that made me feel like a teenage boy with a crush instead of a grown man who was typically charming and smooth with women. However, since the night we spent together, I saw Monroe in a different light. More than just my sister’s best friend, she was a sexy and sensual woman I couldn't resist.
Monroe shrugged, trying to play it cool, but I could tell I affected her too. “That was the plan, but I think I fell asleep.”
“We need to talk about us,” I said, unable to move past our conversation and the way she’s been avoiding me.
Much as she did then, she remained silent, her expression shifting from uncomfortable to annoyed. I was not used to being ignored by women, but Monroe was trying everything in her power to avoid me.
“Can we talk?” I asked once again, leaning closer to her, enough to smell the vanilla in her shampoo. “About what I said—I’ve been thinking about…” Good lord, what the hell was wrong with me? I’d suddenly become a blubbering idiot.
“Jase,” she interrupted, and I instantly heard the weight of her voice. “Don’t.”
“Don’t what?”
She sighed, resigned. “Don’t make this into something it’s not.”
“Monroe, that night?—”
“Was a mistake.” My jaw tightened, the muscles flexing involuntarily as a knot formed in my stomach by her blunt remark. How easily she said the words when they felt nothing like that to me.
“It didn’t feel like one.”
She rolled her eyes, refusing to meet my gaze. “It felt good. That’s not the same thing.”
“I think it is.” I leaned in closer and ran my fingers over the mark on her cheek, forcing her to look up at me. My pulse quickened slightly. “I think it felt right.”
She shook her head, her breath coming in shallow pants. “You’re crazy.”
“Maybe,” I admitted. “But I keep thinking about how it felt waking up next to you. How calm and quiet everything was. How right it could’ve been if we’d just let it.”
This conversation felt too personal to have through the window of a car in the middle of the night, but since she was avoiding me, I wasn't sure when I'd have another chance.
“Let it?” Monroe’s voice rose slightly, her brows furrowing and mouth forming a straight line. “I can’t just let myself believe in something that doesn’t have a future, Jase. There’s too much history between us, our families. That night was a terrible mix of alcohol, lust and loneliness at the same time. That’s not the foundation of something with a future,” she quipped.
I looked at her, really looked at her. Big blue eyes that held so much pain and distrust. There was a hopelessness that made my heart ache, but a flicker of hope within them too. One that only I could see. “What if we don’t pretend it didn’t mean anything?”
She swallowed the knot in her throat, so tight I could see it as it moved. “I’m not built for this.”
Opening her car door, I took her hand in mine, pulling her out. This time she didn’t resist as I dragged her closer, my hand resting at the small of her back, the other still holding her chin in place when she tried to turn away. Our mouths were so close I could feel her hot breath against my lips. “Yes, you are.”
“No, I’m not.” Her voice cracked. “People leave, Jase. They always leave.” A tremor ran through her, starting in her clenched jaw and vibrating down to her fingertips.
My chest felt tight, a heavy weight pressing down, making it difficult to draw a full breath. “I didn’t.”
Tears pricked at the corners of her eyes and threatened to spill over. “You would’ve if I hadn’t.” She blinked rapidly, fighting to maintain some semblance of composure, but the effort only made her face flush an uneven red.
