“Okay.” Brooklyn nodded slowly. “And you want to be different with me?”
“I can’t move like I usually move with women to get my way.” I admitted, “I did have plans for Thanksgiving. I’m supposed to fly to Dallas tonight and be with my mother, brother, and our whole clan.”
The edges of her lips turned down, though she suggested. “We can get together when you get back.”
“I still want to cancel my plans and spend tomorrow with you. I wanted to start over with honesty. When I saw you withyour head down on the table, I wasn’t going to disturb you, but when I overheard you on the phone saying you have two days off, I saw it as an opportunity to get to know you. I imagine being a resident is hard, and you rarely have time off.”
“I don’t have a lot of time off. Still, I can figure something out if you want to hang out once you return. It’s Thanksgiving, and your family will be disappointed.” She tapped her thigh. “You have my number. Just call me whenever.”
Brooklyn’s refusal to meet my eyes and the somberness of her tone softened my heart and strengthened my resolve to get to know her. She believed I was letting her down gently and was giving me an easy out.
We walked through the arches of the rose garden, and the sweet smell of the fragrant flowers surrounded us, and the multitude of white lights above dotted the sky.
“Have you ever been married or have children? I don’t mind if you have children. Just want to know if you want more.”
She gulped. “Didn’t think that we would be having this type of conversation before we even had our first date.”
“I didn’t either until I bumped into you again. I can tell I alreadylikeyou.” I sighed, “Figured we could decide now if we want to still spend time together after this conversation.”
“Engaged once. No children, though I would like at least one. I’ll be thirty-seven in February, so I know I don’t have a lot of time left to have a baby,” she replied carefully, though her curious gaze finally met mine.
“Thought you were younger,” I commented, pleasantly surprised we were closer in age.
“Prefer them young?” she asked with no judgment or censure in her tone.
“No. I would rather date a woman who's on the same page as me. I’ve dated a couple of women who were a lot younger, andwe didn’t connect at all.” I pointed to a bush of purple roses. “Pretty.”
“Very.” She smiled. “Nice place for a non-date chat to see if we should spend more time.”
“I come here to think. To be around God’s beauty settles my soul when I need it.”
Brooklyn bent to smell a white rose. “This is one of my favorite spots in L.A. Sometimes, I’ll walk here from the hospital instead of eating lunch. Never knew that they had all this going on during the holiday season. It’s even more magical.” Her awe-filled expression drew me closer.
“This part is only open for special events for members or donors.”
“Membership has its privileges,” quipped Brooklyn. “Have you brought any other women here?” She shot me a side glance.
“No. Planned to drive here after I left the hospital, but then I bumped into you. I don’t like dating and fucking around with women. I don’t like trying to figure out whether I should trust this one or whether she’s after my money, or wants to boost her fame. I’ve been on my own for almost two years, and I’m tired of the games. I just want my woman, the right woman, and we'll build something together, or we'll chill the fuck out of this life.”
“I can relate. To be honest, I’m not that good with dating. I’m an introvert with my head in somebody’s book or relaxing at home when I’m not working. Most days, I feel like I’m better off on my own. I’m used to being by myself and figuring it out and not having to rely on someone who might not come through when I need it the most.”
I stopped walking in front of a Choi pond surrounded by colorful rose bushes and twinkling lights that cast rainbows around us. A breeze blew her twists as her eyes widened and she gasped at the picturesque scene, while I admired a beautiful, composed woman who probably hid behind her work to avoidtruly living. To avoid being hurt again. “Don’t you get tired of figuring it out by yourself or not having someone to share the ups and downs?”
Still staring at the lushly developed pond where the colorful Choi fish swam, her forehead dipped. “Of course, sometimes I’m so damn tired. But I can only control myself. I can’t make and don’t want to make a man do right by me.”
“What is doing right by you?” I looked at her, willing her to give me eye contact.
Brooklyn turned to face me. “A man who only sees and wants to be with me. I don’t share, and I’m not going to pretend it’s only me as long as he comes home to me. Mostly, I want someone who genuinely likes me, who accepts me for me and respects that my career is a priority, too.”
“Seems simple enough.”
“You say that like you’re really considering me.” She smiled, enhancing her heart-shaped beauty. “When you can have your cake and eat it too with most women. You don’t have to be with one woman if you don’t want to.”
“Because of who I am, it’s not possible that I want to be with one woman for the rest of my life?” I scoffed. “Maybe because I married young or because I’ve been out there wild, having more than one woman doesn’t appeal to me. Granted, I have done some dirt. I was married when I met my last woman, Joi, who didn’t believe I could only want her once we were together. I’m not even sure if my ex-wife thinks I’m capable of being faithful, though I had been most of our marriage.”
She touched my arm. “No offense, men who have a whole lot less than you, juggle women. Kind of hard for women to believe that a man like you can be with one woman forever. And if youarethat man, then you’re a unicorn.”
“A unicorn?” Groaning loudly, I backed up from her. “I turned forty a couple of weeks ago, and I’m at a crossroad in mylife. The life I want isn’t the life I've had for the past twenty or so years. Football ended six years ago, and I’m finally feeling peace about not being a star anymore. I don’t want to be judged for the man I have been or might have been perceived as. I want to be judged for who I am and how I treat you, or any woman I’m with, moving forward. I did some messy shit that might make you look at me sideways, trying not to be my deadbeat father, and ended up in some respects being like him. That’s not me anymore. I want to be surrounded by peace and contentment with pockets of happiness and joy for the rest of my life. Maybe I don’t deserve it, or maybe I do. But I will not settle for less. I can’t for the sake of my sanity and my children. If that makes me a unicorn, then I’m a unicorn.”
