“You thought these men were for your second. We could get started on that, too, if you’d like? I have some guys in mind.”
“Dad, you just said I have, like, fifty more years until you hand things over to me.”
“Well, you know, I think it’s important to vet people early. You need to trust this person completely, and building that kind of trust takes time. They’ll be your right hand. The sooner you findsomeone suitable, the sooner we can integrate them into the training.”
I sigh and lay my head back against the leather chair. I hate this. I’m fine when we discuss normal business matters, but then it always veers to this. To the criminal enterprise, to the need to marry someone trusted and inside the family business. It makes my stomach roll and my head ache every single time.
“Leanna,” he says.
“Dad.” I make a face.
“What’s wrong now?”
“It’s…a lot. Too much for one day. I’m tired and I need to study for finals.”
His lips flatten into a line.
“I’m tired,” I say again. “And I still don’t want to kill anyone.”
“Who are we killing tonight, that this is on your mind?”
I make ahahaface.
“Leanna, I pray you never have to pull a trigger. Truly. Taking a person’s life is not a joke. It’s a heavy responsibility that weighs on a person’s soul. But listen to me when I say that you cannot back down or give an inch, or someone will get into your space. They will take advantage of your weaknesses. And if they know you won’t pull a trigger, then you’re dead already.”
A chill runs the length of my spine. I sit up straighter. My father holds my gaze, doesn’t let it go. I finally nod. “I understand.”
He nods sharply. “You can go.”
I’m up and out of there in a heartbeat.
I can barely breathe as I leave the office, as I walk down the hallway, as I step out into the spring night.
I have tried, if only for my sake, but deep down, I do not think I want this life.
I do not think I will evergrow into it, no matter how much my dad insists I will.
I can’t imagine standing over a decision that dictates who lives or dies.
I can’t picture myself giving the order to torture someone for answers.
That’s not power to me. That’s cruelty in a suit.
The moment I reach Ahren,the weight begins to lift.
I punch in the back door code like muscle memory.
In the restroom, I change into my silk chemise and stash my bag in a locker. I pad barefoot down the corridor to the room that has become an odd respite from the rest of my life.
Something changed after we talked a couple of weeks ago. I was always attracted to him, always intrigued by him. But what happened that night? It made him feel more real to me, more human.
And I want to know him.
I want to understand him.
I would give anything to see his face.
To let him see mine.
