“Which project are you most proud of?” he asks, without looking at me. I bet he’s thinking about lunch.
“The book cover design and illustrations inside the book seriesRaising Hell and Other Tourist Attractions. I answered an ad for that one, but it was a lot of fun and I could be more creative with that one than with other jobs. It also sold well, and the author credits me for its success since the cover was unique for the genre.”
He nods once. “I talked to Caitlyn Rowe. She was sad to see you go. She told me she offered you a job and you turned it down. Why?”
“I always wanted to work in San Francisco. I love everything about this city. It’s one of the cities where women first established themselves as businesswomen during the Gold Rush and, in general, it’s one of those places where individuality is encouraged. The constant sun is nice too.” I try to give an earnest laugh, but John doesn’t react.
“And why do you want to work for 2Resonance?” he asks.
“I heard that you guys have a foosball table,” I say. He doesn’t react. “That…was another joke. Well, music is very important in my life and I love the idea of strangers connecting based on their listening habits. You guys have also been around for two years and you’ve recently gained momentum in membership—which means that your company is still small, but all indications show that you’re making all of the right moves. You’re just a great company and I’d love to be part of it.”
He turns away from the window, looking back at me. “Well, thank you for coming in, Miss Nowak. I’ll have to consult with the co-owners of 2Resonance, but we’ll contact you if you get the job.”
He stands up. I copy him. He offers me his hand to shake it. I fumble with the handshake.
“Thank you, sir,” I say.
“It’s John.”
“Thank you, John,” I correct myself. I bow my head, heading out the door. It doesn’t take an Ivy League graduate to know I fucked up. There are certain people that I fall apart in front of. My first college roommate told me that it was because I was a Virgo, but I’m fairly certain it’s because my brain has an error in the source code. Or maybe it’s from when I ran into a wall when I was six.
I try to force a smile as I leave. I try to see the humor in it all and remember there’s plenty of other companies I can apply to. This isn’t even the best job in Silicon Valley, but I love 2Resonance and the salary seemed great.
We can’t all get what we want. I know that better than anybody. Well, almost everybody. Maybe half the country. At the very least, I know it better than anybody else in this building.
I step into the elevator and press the down button. I can imagine Tom's smug face if he heard how much I crashed and burned during this interview.
“Hey,” the man in the bacon shirt says as the elevator doors begin to close. “Did we ever fix the foosball table?”
******
The Blue Cottage Cafe is in San Jose, tucked away a few miles from the airport. It’s nearly an hour’s drive from the 2Resonance headquarters. From the outside, it looks like any diner in rural America, but on the inside, it’s filled with unique things—maps covering the walls, tables shaped like states, blue-tinted lights, and my parents.
I hug both of them before I join them at the table. They’ve already ordered me a mojito, which is the truest sign of love from anyone.
“How did the interview go?” my mother asks. She’s classically Polish with dirty blonde hair except for the strands of gray near her temple, prominent cheekbones, and almond-shaped eyes. My father had the darker Polish hair, but it’s completely gray now. Both of their hands—my mother’s clutching the menu and my father’s around a beer—are scarred with burns from their bakery that they started on the Lower East Side. It’s the first time they’ve left New York—just two second-generation Polish bakers, setting down their roots and giving up everything, so I could go to the best colleges and move across the country.
I can’t let them down. They didn’t help me get this far just to see me give up.
“It was great,” I say. “But they’re interviewing a lot of people. I’m going to try that photography app next. They’re a smaller company, but they might be more open to taking on a younger graphic designer.”
“You have the right mindset. You shouldn’t worry about it. Just keep going forward,” my father says.
“You’ve always been ambitious like that,” my mother says. “Do you remember when you were six and you decided that the snake plant was too lonely to grow? You transplanted so many weeds in yogurt containers, putting them all around the plant.”
“And not only did it not grow, but we also gained an insect problem,” I say, taking another sip of my drink. “That’s the first time I learned that the road to Hell is paved with the best intentions.”
My mother gives me a pitying smile. “But you keep trying and you’re going to succeed because of that. If only you did the same with your love life…”
I focus on my drink. “I don’t need a boyfriend, Mom.”
“I don’t think you need one either. I just think you might be lonely. I understand that you weren't happy with Tom, but you're twenty-four now. You're going to be settling down in your life and you're going to be lonely without someone to settle down with.”
“I’m not,” I say. “I’m not lonely now and I’m not going to be lonely later. I have everything planned out. I’m going to find a job here as a graphic designer. I’ll work at it for at least two years. I’ll add that job to my resume, have some more projects to add to my portfolio, and I’ll get a job at a more prestigious company. I’ll stay there for a while. If there’s another job opening at a better job, I’ll try to get it. Eventually, my resume will be good enough that I’ll be promoted to creative director. Hopefully, at some point, I’ll be good enough that QRipple will take me.”
“And QRipple is one of those online apps?”
“It’s an advertising company. It’s the one that all of the Fortune 500 companies want to work with.”
