“Sorry,” mumbled Dys.
“But there’s one thing,” I said. “I need you to lay off Jacine.”
Dys's eyes narrowed.
“Why?”
“Because I’m in love with her.”
“What?” said Dys derisively. “You think love is when the hooker doesn’t charge you extra for the blow-job.”
“It’s the real deal, I swear.”
Dys scoffed. “You barely know her.”
“You know it when you see it. I did that day we met in the office.”
“Well, I’ve had a thing for her for four years, so don’t even say that doesn’t trump your feelings of looooovvve.”
“You’re both off your rock star rockers,” said Holmes. “Neither one of you can connect with her soul as I do. Besides, we have abigger problem. We’re in jail. Or haven’t you noticed?”
“I noticed,” I said dryly.
“So we’ll bond out,” said Dys.
Ever the optimist, Dys is.
“And then what,” continued Holmes. “Did you not pay attention the last time? We were given bond on the condition we didn’t pull this shit again.”
“Now you tell us,” said Dys.
“And, we might get a judge that decides that it is “teach the celebrities a lesson” week. Seven years, guys. That’s what we could get.”
“You think? Because I haven’t seen you thinking very clearly at all,” said Dys.
“Ha,” I said.
“And you neither. Really. Thinking Jacine would want you?”
“Hey,” said Dys. “For the first time in four years, we are speaking like human beings. Let’s not blow it now.”
“You’re right,” I said. “Besides it doesn’t do a bit of good fighting about it. It’s up to her who she wants.”
“Really, Kane? When did you get so enlightened?”
“I don’t know. I’m sitting in a jail cell with two of the biggest dicks in the world who happen to be my best friends, and I wonder? What did I do to deserve all this? I mean, Christ, I must be doing something wrong. Maybe it’s time for a change-up?”
Holmes snorted.
“You’re absolutely right,” he said.
“Geez, two of you in agreement,” said Dys. “I guess I’m outvoted.”
“Look,” I said. “Whatever happens, we need to stick together.”
“Yeah,” said Holmes. “Friends.”
“Brothers-in-arms,” I said. But it didn’t escape me that we didn’t agree about boss lady, and that’s a problem.
