Carla was too stunned to understand what both doctors were saying. All she remembered was that her baby was sick. She felt faint.
“Carla,” Dr. Dubois reached for her hand, “I know it will sound callous if I tell you not to worry, and I won’t. But I want you to understand that there are medical treatments available should it be needed. I know thousands of children who are living normal lives after being born with the condition.”
For Carla, it wasn’t enough. She wanted to be told that her baby was doing just fine.
She left the doctor’s clinic still in a daze and returned back to the house. Jacques saw the alarm all over her face. Carla needed to share the load she was carrying. In between sobs, she told him what the doctors said.
“Everything will be alright,” Jacques comforted her.
Carla desperately wanted to believe.
She eventually accepted the possibility that her baby would be born with a defect. It was like a rock that nestled just beneath the surface of her chest. Sometimes it felt so heavy that she would find herself totally depressed and just burst into tears. She felt helpless and alone. There was nothing she could do except hope and pray the symptoms were false and she would have a normal baby.
She leaned on Dr. Dubois for comfort. Carla felt at ease with Margaret Dubois. The doctor had an understanding about life that was both wise and refreshing. They had talks that lasted for hours. Carla revealed her hopes for the future, her fears concerning relationships, and specially her frustrations about who she was and what she wanted to be. She held back nothing.
“Do you love him?” Dr. Dubois asked.
“Yes,” Carla answered honestly.
“Do you think Falcon loves you?” Margaret asked.
“He would if I were perfect.”
The doctor sighed and said, “Carla it’s not for me to tell you how to run your life. But if he wanted to be part of the baby’s life, then he should. I understand your feelings. You need to know that you are loved. But you doubt who you are. So, you keep searching for the perfect you before you are ready to present yourself to a man you love. But there is no perfect you. Falcon is not perfect either. We will never be perfect. Otherwise the world will be such a boring place.”
Carla was taken by surprise. She never saw love as a state of being imperfect. But Margaret’s words showed her another dimension where love could be had despite one’s imperfections. She viewed Falcon as someone perfect, and herself as imperfect. Thus, she always diminished her worth in her eyes. It was like a veil lifted from those eyes.
