But I think Evan might be a romantic. He’s been in love before and he’s been burned, but he’s gotta believe in it, still. I don’t know much about love or whether someone like me can even execute the functions of it. I can get obsessed. I can fixate and want something very much, but forming a mutual emotional bond like that?
Not only do I not know what I’d need from another man to be able to do that, but I don’t know what would be required of me either.
I get the caring part. I absolutely get the wanting part. I just think there’s something more to it. If Isaac is in love with Evan, I guess he knows what it takes to feel it, but I had the same conversation with myself that Evan tried to have with me while I was sucking his cock. That messing around with him was a bad idea. That he has feelings for me, and it wouldn’t be cool to toy with him, but I was too caught up in how good he felt. High off the experience.
On the train to work, I attempt to gain some clarity and some control over the situation. Evan was vague about his conversation with Isaac, and he was wishy-washy with me. I’m hoping Isaac can help me understand where we are.
Me
What happened this morning?
It takes a minute for him to read the message, but when he does, his response is quick.
Isaac
We had the talk. He wants to quit.
I frown at my phone. Evan didn’t mention anything about quitting.
Me
He knows how you feel now?
Isaac
Yeah.
Me
Did he say nothing would come of it?
Isaac
The only thing I took away from it was that he definitely likes you. And he thinks I’m “attractive.”
Me
Well, I like you both.
Isaac
I like you both, too.
Me
What if I said I want to date you both?
Isaac
Is that hypothetical?
Me
Not really.
Isaac
Then make him happy. Make him the happiest man in the world.
