“I’m ready.”
At least one of us is. “I’m just gonna come out with it. I’m not sure you know this, but until that date with Deacon, you were the only person I’ve been with for months.”
“What?” He scoffs. “No, I’m not. I could make a list of the men you’ve been with in the last eight weeks literally off the top of my head.”
“Wait––you think I sleep with every man I go out with?”
“Uh—yeah.”
“I don’t.”
“Well, I’m willing to bet six of the men I’m thinking of didn’t go home with just a handshake.”
“At least three of them did,” I say, because as much as I’ve been hitting the dating scene, it hasn’t been going very well. Deacon is—well, he blindsided me.
“Oral sex counts as being with someone,” Evan informs me.
“Does a peck on the mouth?”
He makes an annoyed sound.
“Because if that doesn’t count, then I stand by what I said.”
“What’s your point?” he asks.
“I’m telling you, you weren’t just some random office fling.”
“Why? Because you had a few boring dates, and I was a sure thing?”
“No. The dates didn’t work out because I didn’t want to be with anyone else.”
“I’m not saying I don’t believe you, Isaac, but you date a lot. And in the end, you did have sex and hit it off with someone. Just like you wanted to.”
I take him by the arm and pull him to a stop. “It’snotwhat I wanted.”
Evan stares up at me with wide eyes.
“I wantedyou. I’m sorry I accidentally met your roommate and hit it off with him. If I’d known?—”
“You what? Would have shoved him away?” He shakes his head, confusion and hurt clouding his features.
“If I knew it would hurt you—yes, goddamnit. I would have.”
“What do my feelings have to do with who you fuck?”
“Is that a real question you want an answer to?” I ask, my fingers twitching at my side.
“Yeah.”
“Because I’m ready to answer it.”Or am I?Why am I stalling like this?
“Go for it,” he says.
I take a deep breath as he stares at me with his parted lips and pink cheeks. His chest moves up and down with heavy breaths. I watch puff after puff of air escape his mouth, and with Apollo standing guard, facing the bay, I think to myself—fuck it.
My aching hands take hold of Evan’s cold cheeks, and I press my mouth to his. He makes a squeaky noise and stiffens, lips unmoving. I kiss them again. And again. “Evan,” I whisper. “Please.” Another unmet kiss. With my heart on the verge of breaking, I beg him one more time. “Please,please. I love you. Let me in.”
He gasps and puts his hand on my chest like he means to stop me, but when my lips meet his once more, his hand fists in mysweatshirt, and his lips part. My tongue finds his, and I wrap one hand around his head to keep him from pulling away too soon.
