“Still…” I say. “When it’s close to home like this…”
“I’m not upset,” he reiterates.
“But Evan is?” I mean, I guess it’s obvious, right? He’s not here.Fuck.
“I honestly couldn’t tell what he was upset about. I got the sense it had more to do with me, but I’m not great at reading situations where emotions are involved. Are there emotions involved?”
“I…well…I’m not sure how to answer that.”
“Is he the one you’re in love with?”
I loosen my tie. “Did I really say in love? I have a hard time believing I would put it that way.”
“It was something along those lines.”
I sink further into my seat. “I do remember saying it was complicated.”
“Anyway,” Deacon says. “We thought you should know.”
I take a moment to let all of this settle. Eventually I ask, “How do you feel about it now?”
“Which part?” he asks. “Because you’re right. Complicated is a good word for it.”
“Any part,” I say.
“I felt okay about it until he got upset with me.”
“Do you want me to talk to him?”
“What would you say?”
I sigh. “I have no idea. I don’t like the thought of him being upset. Are you two close?”
“We’re roommates,” Deacon says without any additional qualifiers.
“Okay…”
“We’re not home at the same time all that often, and I…it’s not always easy for me to open up to people.”
I wouldn’t have guessed that. However, this conversation is definitely the most awkward one we’ve had. I wonder if that’s because there’s a desk between us. We do fine when we’re up close and personal.
“Does this change things with us?” I ask.
He runs his hands down the arms of his chair. “I don’t want it to, but that’s not only up to me.”
“I need to talk to him,” I say even as I’m tearing straight down the middle.
“I get it.”
“Deacon, I don’t want to stop seeing you.”
“I don’t want to stop seeing you, either.”
“But yes, I have feelings for him.”
“And you still haven’t told him.”
“I will.”
