“Coffee, but I can get it myself.”
“I don’t mind.”
“I need to move,” I tell him.
“Don’t scare anybody in the break room,” he says.
“Do I? Scare people when I come into the break room?”
“No!” he says, sounding overly shocked. “Of course not.”
This leads me to believe I do in fact, scare people when I wander out of my area. Still…I need to clear my head. I’m a little too high off Evan today. I need to switch to caffeine.
He’s getting re-organized at his desk when I head out into the office. I get a few looks and some polite hellos. A conversation stops as I pass a group of Gen Z’ers on beanbag chairs with their laptops out. I say hello to them, too, and then I’m in the break room. It looks like a large kitchen, just with more tables. All the best types of coffee makers are available in specially made nooks, and there’s a glass doored refrigerator with company provided snacks.
While I’m brewing a pod of espresso, I open the fridge in response to my growling stomach.
“The cantaloupe is surprisingly good,” a familiar, low voice says.
I move the door out of the way to find Deacon on the other side. Another rush of blood moves directly toward my dick because he lookssogood. I run a hand through my hair self-consciously, completely caught off guard. “The uh…what?”
“The cantaloupe. It’s not in season.” He reaches past me to grab a plastic container to hand me. “But it’s really good. Unless you hate melon.”
“No. I love melon.”
He grins. “You don’t come here often, do you?”
“No. My assistant usually makes the food runs.”
He nods and gives me a slow once over that leaves me feeling mauled in the best way. Am I allowed to kiss him here? Probably not. Poor form. Public displays of affection in the office. Also, I’m the CEO. Also, Evan could wander in here any second.
Fuck, why does this have to be so complicated? Why can’t I just ask a beautiful man to kiss me and possibly bend me over a table and not have all these stupid social decency conventions standing in the way?
It’s not unusual for me to be attracted to more than one person. I find a lot of men attractive. There is, in fact, an abundance of attractive men in this town. Deacon just happens to be above average, and Evan is—fuck, he’s just Evan, and I love him, and this is going to make a disaster of me if I keep trying to have it all.
Especially when “having it all” still falls painfully short of having anything to show for it.
It’s not like me, however, to have two simultaneous crushes. It’s creating a pressing need to move the situation with Deacon out of crush territory and place it firmly into dating territory. I need to take him somewhere, show him off. Buy him things and fawn over him in a public place. There’s potential here, and Ican’t ignore it just because I may or may not be in love with my assistant who won’t even let me buy him dinner.
But can I keep fucking Evan if I start dating Deacon in the open? Would it hurt Evan’s feelings if monogamy became a stipulation for Deacon? After the way he acted today, I feel like it might, although that could have just been his pride.
How am I thirty-five years old and still unable to figure outanything?
“Do you have plans for the weekend?” I ask Deacon to push myself out of this confusion.
He looks around to check if we’re still alone then gives me a small shake of his head.
I lower my voice just in case. “Can I see you?”
He smiles and looks down at the floor, showing a surprisingly shy side. “You can see as much of me as you want.”
I love the idea of that. It means he’s not going anywhere any time soon. It means this thing between us, even if it is casual, has potential.
The coffee brewer gurgles to a stop, and I check the time. “I’ll take you up on that. I have a call I have to make, but can we talk later?”
He nods and walks past me, going to brew a pod of his own. I take my mug and the container of cantaloupe and give him one last look.
The look he gives me this time is bolder. Smoldering.
