“Exactly.” He kisses me again. “This is simplifying.”
It’s my turn to shrug. “If you want.”
“Why are you being impossible?”
“I was born this way. What’s your excuse?”
He laughs.
Iwouldlike to see where this goes if he’s open to it, but his being in love with someone else is a big deal. Still, I’ll take my chances. If it gets too messy, then whatever. I don’t have the fearof being hurt a lot of people have. Maybe because I’m used to it. Maybe because my whole life is one big coping mechanism.
“Figure your shit out,” I tell him. “I’m not going anywhere.”
He tucks himself against me, his arms trapping me in his bed. With both of us still naked, this position feels risky. I can’t think of a less risky alternative, though, so I slot my thigh between his and get comfortable. We kiss for a few more minutes, and when both our dicks remain more or less soft through a few valiant twitches, he curls in until his head is resting beneath my chin, and we both fall asleep.
8
EVAN
Isaac hasn’t touched me in two days, Deacon still hasn’t told me what dinner tonight is about, and I’ve barely seen him. I’m starting to panic, and when I panic, I act out.
Unlike Monday where I phoned in getting ready, I’m pristine today. My blue sweater clings to me like I painted it on, and my jeans hug my ass like a dream. If Isaac ignores me again, I might spiral. If he can resist me in this outfit, my insecurity will ratchet itself up to a height it’s never known. It’ll be worse than what happened with Hunter in college. After all, Hunter—while he was sharing me with strangers and sharing himself—I was always involved. Feeling unwanted, I’m discovering, is my trigger.
Being an only child at the center of my parents’ world spoiled me for attention at a very early age. Being an adult and having to actively work for it from strangers is a skill set I’m constantly trying to perfect. Apparently, I need to up my game.
“Good morning,” I tell my boss the moment he’s within earshot, trying to catch his eye.
He smiles, slowing as he approaches my desk. He looks me over and responds with his own good morning.
“Schedule?” I ask eagerly.Tooeagerly. My panic is making its way into my voice.
“Sure. Come on in.” He looks pleased, and that’s a nice, quick win that ups my confidence.
He holds open the door for me, and I watch to see whether he locks it behind him.
His body is in the way, though, and I can’t tell. I don’t take the chair today. Instead, I wait for him to sit so I can stand beside him.
Remembering the last time he fucked me on his desk has my dick getting hard already. I realized over the past two days that the way he wants me—or seems like he does—is something I’ve been taking for granted. Isaac is intense, and I’ve gotten the sense more than once that he wants more than a conventional quickie. Like I think Isaac would be perfectly happy if I did my job underneath his desk, warming his cock and servicing him at regular intervals like a sex slave or a pet.
I wonder how his date went Friday night. Could that be why he’s been so hands off? He’s getting it somewhere else? From someone better than me?
Fuck, why does the thought of that make me sick? I shouldn’t need this level of validation from my boss. Why am I so goddamn needy? No wonder Deacon fenced me off in the friend zone.
Isaac takes his seat and pulls up the schedule on his computer. I actually have several questions and slots to fill for him today, so I start talking right away. “Orange team wanted to move their meeting up to eleven because someone has a doctor’s appointment this afternoon. I told them it would probably work, so I left a message with George from legal to move him into their afternoon slot. If that’s okay.”
“Fine.” Isaac’s eyes remain glued to the screen, his hand resting on his mouse.
I lean across the desk, putting my elbows in the empty space directly in front of him. I point to the one o’clock spot with my index finger and turn to look at his face. “Here, you’ve got a couple of options.”
His eyes meet mine, and I hear his intake of air. I work to intensify my gaze, desperate to hold onto his. “I’ve been working on my Power Point, so we can go over that, or…”
He’s nodding, eyes hooding.
My cock goes fully erect. “I can set up that call with Romian.”
“Remind me?” he says softly.
“The Seattle security company.”
