“He’s not seeing Hunter again,” Deacon says. “Right?”
“We’re just friends who work together. No benefits.”
“I’ve pictured a million things,” Isaac says.
“How’s Jake?”
“Oh.” His gaze drops from mine. “I’m not sure. Well enough to go back to school, but I worry, I guess.”
“Do you know what happened?”
“I know he was in a fight. I don’t know why or what started it.”
“I should have been here,” I whisper.
He holds my gaze and doesn’t disagree.
“I’m sorry,” I tell him.
“I’m sorry, too.”
“Please. You don’t have anything to apologize for. Just so both of you know, I never felt forced into anything. I never lied when I said I wanted to try. I just care about you both so much, and I didn’t want to slow you down because I knew I was going to. It had to do withmyissues. It wasn’t anything to do with how I feel about either of you.”
Deacon surprises me by speaking up. “Are you sure that’s right?”
I turn to him.
“I just mean it wasn’t exactly right with us—the two of us. Even before the fight.”
“I’ve thought about that a lot,” I tell him. “I think it was because something was missing.”
He frowns.
I put a hand on his face and turn it in Isaac’s direction.
Isaac is still looking at me, though.
“You center him,” I say, and I’m speaking to both of them.
Isaac looks at Deacon. They share a long look before Isaac wraps his other hand around the nape of Deacon’s neck. I smash their faces together like they’re dolls who need to start making out.
The result is much more satisfying than any time I ever did it with any of my toy soldiers growing up. A long kiss accompanied by a soft groan and sigh. The sigh is Deacon’s. Even as they kiss, he pulls me closer to his chest, proving in a way, that I was right. Isaac is one of the ways Deacon wants me. I can’t explain it any better than that. It’s something like Isaac brings out his intimate, soft side, and I can’t help but respond better to that than the side of him that wants to stretch me with his cock and a dildo at the same time. Not that I wasn’t absolutely game for that. But no matter how full he got my ass, there was a space in my heart that remained empty.
Whatever Deacon and Isaac feel for each other unlocks the part of Deacon that wants to be closer to me. Something about the note he sent me—once he had Isaac all to himself—made it make more sense.
But if sex or even sensual physical acts help him express his feelings, and he’s different with both of us, then being with both of us should help simplify. Or at least give Isaac and me the opportunity to see all of him.
They finish their kiss, and Deacon turns to press his nose to my neck, inhaling deeply. I interpret it as gratitude.
With his face still in my neck, Deacon says, “I think it’s good you left. You weren’t ready, and I needed to understand my relationship with Isaac better. That did take time.”
“I totally get that,” I say with my eyes on Isaac who’s once again staring at me.
“We talk about you a lot,” Deacon says. “Even when we’re having sex.”
This makes my eyes nearly pop out of my skull. “Why?”
He shrugs. “I don’t know. Sometimes it comes up. Sometimes it gets us off. You’re like the biggest thing we have in common.”
