“I need to be honest with you,” I tell Hunter.
“Okay.”
“I’m in kind of a toxic situation here at home, and that’s probably the only reason I’m even considering this.”
“Why are you telling me that? Also, are you okay?”
“Ask me in a couple weeks,” I say. “I’m telling you because I might be accepting this job for the wrong reasons. I might be running away.”
“If it’s toxic, though—I’d say you’re doing yourself a huge favor. I’d call it brave.”
I bark a laugh at that. “It’s anything but brave.”
“Evan, you don’t have to tell me what’s going on, but if you want me to hear you out, I’m not busy. As much as I think we can do great things together and I want you here, I do want you here for the right reasons.”
“Yeah,” I whisper.
“You want to tell me about it?”
I do end up telling him about it. The broad strokes. The condensed version takes about five minutes to get through. I don’t go into much detail, but I don’t underplay what I’m going through, either. I tell him I’m falling in love with two men who are also in love with each other, and we tried to make it work as a throuple. I tell him about the fight last night and the fact that Isaac is more or less presenting himself as a package deal. That my choice has come down to everything or nothing.
“You know, I actually have two different thoughts about this,” Hunter says.
“Yeah, okay.”
“I think if you all didn’t work together, and if you and Deacon didn’t live together, it might actually be something you could make work. It’d force you to take your time and be more deliberate. But—and I’m not just saying this because I want you to come work with me—the way you guys are so enmeshed in each other’s lives already—that’s what makes the position you’re in now feel impossible.”
It’s a myriad of what ifs. What if Deacon and I weren’t roommates. What if I worked from home like Millie and met both of them out. Would we have hit it off? Would they haveliked me? Would we have been able to take things slower? Would we have been forced into trying to deal with everyone’s triangulated feelings or would one of us have naturally been weeded out?
Is it even useful to think of it like that?
“You’re right,” I tell him. “I want the job.”
“Are you serious?” Hunter asks, like he can’t believe he was able to talk me into it.
“I need the fresh start. Away from all of this.”
“With me, though? I mean—notwithme?—”
“I know what you mean, and yeah. Why not you? It’s not like we’re strangers.”
“I mean, you know I respect you, right?”
I roll my eyes. “Yes, Hunter. I do know that. I don’t think you’re out on the street offering this job to anyone who can work an iPhone.”
“You’re not still using an iPhone, are you?”
“Pfft. Of course not.”
“Okay, good,” he says with an almost comical level of relief. “Then how do we get you down here?”
I sigh. “I think I’m gonna need to call my dad.”
“Oh, fuck no,” he says. “You sit tight. I’m coming to get you. If you change your mind, just call me. I won’t give you a hard time about it or anything. But Evan?”
“Yeah?”
“I think this is exactly what both of us need.”
