“Have you not talked to him?” I ask.
“Not too much. I was giving you guys some space.”
“Why?”
He smooths my hair back. “I don’t want you to think I’m trying to take him from you.”
“This is nuts. Don’t you think?” I ask.
“No. I don’t.”
“But like, how do you see this ending?”
“I don’t,” he says. “Why? How do you see it ending?”
“I’m not even sure what’s happening. And what’s wrong with my asshole?”
“It looks sore.”
“Oh.”
Deacon and I were up kind of late last night. He lasts longer than Isaac does, so when we fuck, it’s kind of an event. And there were at least two distinct “events” last night. One in his bed, and once in his shower that involved his cockanda dildo. He’s not like Isaac who’s all reverent and sweet with me. Deacon is filthy. He turns me into a cum seeking slut with the shit he says to me, and it’s got me completely fucked up.
Isaac holds my hair out of my face to look me in the eyes. “Are you all right?”
“You’re not asking about my ass, are you?”
He shakes his head.
“Don’t you miss Deacon?” I ask.
“It’s only been a couple of days. I’m looking forward to seeing him tomorrow, though.”
“Are you gonna like—wanna be alone with him?”
“Why do you ask?”
“Because I’ve been alone with him and you this week, and I don’t know. It feels like that would be fair.”
He frowns. “I don’t want this to be about taking turns, Evan.”
“What do you want, then? Us all living under one roof like a happy family?”
His mouth quirks. “That sounds like a happy ending to me.”
“It’s almost like—and I’ve been thinking this for a long time, so it’s not just because of this week—but it’s almost like you’re afraid to really connect with a person.”
“I won’t lie. It’s something I’ve struggled with.”
“And you take someone like Deacon who literally connects through sex. It’s safe, yeah, but it’s also kind of…”
”What?” he asks.
“I don’t know,” I say. “Lonely?”
Isaac frowns, studying me. “Is there something you feel like you can’t say to him?”
“More like I feel like he doesn’t want to hear it.”
