“Are you trying to get drunk?” I ask Evan once Isaac is inside.
“It’s only my third glass.”
“Aren’t you buzzed?”
He looks at me. “A little. I think I’m still nervous.”
I squeeze his thigh. “I like you with Isaac.”
He rolls his eyes. “I’m notwithhim.”
“You’re like an old married couple. Like you know each other really well.”
“He’s an open book and super messy. It doesn’t take much to get to know him. You’ll see.”
“But you like him, and you’re attracted to him…” I pause, waiting for confirmation.
He nods.
“What would it take for you to fall in love with him?”
He appears to consider the question. “It’s hard to trust what he says he feels for me when he feels all these things for you, too.”
“That’s what you need? Trust?”
Evan gives me another look that makes me think he’s putting in some serious thought, which I have to say I appreciate. It means I might get a helpful answer.
“Trust is a big deal,” he says. “And not just like—I trust you are where you say you are, or you’re not hooking up with some random. There are apps that can track that stuff. I mean like deep, abiding trust. Like you’ll forgive me when I really fuck up. Like I’m safe with you no matter what. Like you’ll never fuck me over on purpose.”
“Tall order.”
“Is it?” he asks. “Because we might not always be attractive. Or healthy. I need to trust that someone will still be there because they love and acceptme.”
“Is that the magic ingredient then?”
Evan gives a casual shrug. “It’s a good start.”
That’s totally something Isaac would say.
Isaac returns with two glasses of wine. He hands Evan his and takes a sip from the other glass as he takes his seat again—on the other side of Evan.
“I feel like the three of us haven’t done enough communicating,” Isaac says.
He’s extremely right about that. Since this was my idea, I guess I need to try to start the conversation we still obviously need to have about how this is going to work, but what comes out of my mouth is so random, I don’t even know what my brain is doing. “What do you think the third ingredient is for love? If one is being attracted and the other is liking each other, what’s the third?”
“Isthatwhat you two were discussing?”
“I asked,” I tell him.
“I wouldn’t put attraction in the top three,” Isaac says. “I’d combine the first two and call it chemistry.”
“So, what turns good chemistry into love?” I ask.
Isaac props his head back on the couch and hums. I get stuck staring at his Adam’s apple as he speaks. “Chemistry is a big category. I’m trying to think of what else.”
“Evan says trust,” I offer.
“Evan has trust issues.”
