“No, we’re not,” Evan says.
“We’re not,” I agree. “But we’re not amistakeeither.”
“Okay,” Evan sighs. “That was a poor choice of words. I like you. I really do. I just don’t know what to do with your feelings.”
“You could try not belittling them,” Deacon says. “No one’s belittling yours.”
Evan looks shocked and offended. “I’m not!” Then he looks to me again. “Am I?”
“No, I just…it’s more like it feels like you’re pretending they don’t exist.”
“I’mnot—Isaac—I just didn’t know. Like I never would have guessed. You’re so far out of my league, I thought I was just helping you blow off steam, I had no idea you wanted like—me.”
Out of his league?I started off just like him. As someone’s assistant with big ideas and dreams. “But now that you do?” I ask.
“Well, you’re seeing someone else now.” He gestures at Deacon. “Youlikehim. Unfortunately, I happen to like him, too.”
This is where I kind of lose it. “So, I’ll back off.”
“No,” Deacon cuts in, startling me. “Look atmewhen you say that.”
I look at Deacon and that determined glint in his eyes, and I fuckingcan’t. Goddamn this. “I need a minute.” I stand abruptly and go inside. Shoving both hands through my hair, I scratch at my scalp as I escape to my bedroom, kicking the door shut behind me.
I’ve never wanted to be my straight brother so badly in my life.
It’s only a few minutes before I hear the door open and sense Evan walking up behind me. His reflection appears in the window. The view is the same in my room as it is from the balcony. I have some city, the Bay, and the bridge in my sightline. “Did Deacon make you come talk to me?”
“No. He reminded me that I came here to give this a chance, and I wanted to finish the conversation we were having.”
“I don’t even remember where we left off.”
“We were talking about my job.”
I shut my eyes. “You can have whatever you want.”
“If you and Deacon want to be in a relationship, why am I here?”
“Because I love you,” I say. “I’ve fallen for you. Obviously I didn’t handle that well, but I’m trying to fix it.”
“And you don’t think it’s a little late for that?”
“What I think is that if you and I are both interested in the same person and also have something we want to explore with each other, then we might be able to figure something out.”
“You mean between the three of us,” he says.
I remain silent. After what he told me on the terrace about his ex, I don’t want to make him feel like he’s not enough.
“I guess I can try that,” he says quietly.
I turn to him. “Really?”
“If you think it can work.” He fingers the placket of buttons on my chest. “This is cute.”
I stare down at his hand. “Thanks.”
“I like seeing you in regular clothes.”
“Yeah?”
