“She doesn’t want a bottle. I already changed her diaper. I’m not any good at this.” Haylee let out a hiccupping sob. “I love her more than anything else on this earth, but I suck at being her mom.”
After checking Melly’s forehead, Laurel bounced the baby in her arms, hoping the motion would soothe her crying. Nights like these made Laurel question whethershehad ever been cut out to be a mom herself. “You don’t suck at being her mom,” Laurel said softly but sternly enough to be heard over the crying. “You weremeantto be her mom. It’s what fate decided, and fate always has a reason for its choices.” The words were harder for Laurel to accept, but she pushed the unwanted emotions down to focus on the present.
“Yeah, right. You mean the way fate decided you’re stillmarried?”
Laurel’s eyes doubled in size as she stretched her neck out into the hall. She hadn’t told anyone but Kinley, Ava, and Cody. The last thing she needed was Mom or Dad overhearing that bit of news. Convinced the coast was clear, Laurel lowered her voice. “That’snotthe same thing.”
“Is too.”
“It’s too early for this,” Laurel muttered. “Who told you anyway?”
“No onetoldme.” Which meant Haylee had been secretly listening in over lunch with Ava yesterday. Laurel thought she was clever, hosting the meeting at the house. Too worried that nosy eavesdroppers in any restaurant might hear her news and spread it all over town.
“Should’ve known you weren’t really taking a nap,” Laurel mumbled.
“You got home pretty late. Were you with him last night?”
“None of your business.” Thinking about last night—those kisses—would only make everything more complicated than it already was. She focused on the angry angel in her arms, trying the rocker with Melly. But nothing seemed to soothe her. “You’re sure she’s not hungry?”
“Fed her an hour ago. But try for yourself if you don’t think I fed her enough.” Haylee shoved a bottle at Laurel before adding, “I think youwerewith him tonight. Are you going to get back together?” A new shine of tears glossed in her eyes. “You are, aren’t you? You’re going to move out and leave me all alone here to deal with everything.”
“It’s one signature. It’ll be final Monday.” Laurel’s heart squeezed at her own words. Until those mind-melting kisses, she’d been one hundred percent set on signing that last blank line the minute Jenkins opened his door. There wasn’t room for doubt, but it was seeping in anyway. “Just, please don’t say anything to Mom or Dad, okay? No need to get everyone worked up over a small technicality.”
Haylee folded her arms over her chest. “Unless fate has something to say about it.”
Laurel stuck her tongue out, as though they were kids again. “Motherhood has made you a brat.”
“A verytiredbrat.”
“Everything okay in here?” Mom asked with a yawn, coming into the room and holding her hands out for Melly. “Why are you still crying, baby girl?” Mom’s attempt to walk around the room and bounce her lightly did nothing to soothe her screams. “Did you feed her?”
“An hour ago. She’s not hungry.”
“Diaper change?”
“Ten minutes ago. She doesn’t have a fever, in case you’re wondering that too.”
“You burped her?”
“An hour ago, right after I fed her,” Haylee answered with a huff of frustration. “She burped so loud she could put Marc to shame.”
Mom reached for the burping cloth and set to the task again. “I think she’s a bit gassy. We might need to switch up her formula. She’s been awful fussy this week, and that could be why.”
“Really?” Haylee seemed on the verge of tears, but whether from guilt or relief, Laurel was too tired and lost in her own thoughts to decipher. Melly belched and her crying finally subsided. “Why are you better at this than I am?” Haylee asked Mom.
“The only reason I look like an expert now is because I made all the mistakes raising the five of you.” After setting Melly back in her crib, Mom put an arm around Haylee and pulled her in for a hug. “I’m not your enemy, Haylee. I’ve just got some experience and wisdom to share. I’m sorry if I come off a little pushy. I’m still adjusting tomybaby having a baby of her own.” She kissed Haylee on the forehead, and Laurel slipped out of the room to let them have their touching moment without her.
Maybe moving out of her parents’ house wouldn’t be a terrible thing. Haylee wouldn’t be alone. She’d be in good hands—thebesthands. It was time Laurel figured out what came next in her life.
She dropped onto the bed, eager for another hour of sleep. Never in her life had she appreciated silence as much as she did right now. She let her heavy eyelids fall closed, willing good dreams to whisk her away. But before sleep could overtake her, she heard tapping on the glass. If one of her siblings was messing with her, she was going to kill them. Laurel hid her face beneath a pillow, but the tapping didn’t stop.
“Ugh!” She threw the pillow off, fully prepared to incinerate the culprit with her fiery glare. Instead, she stifled a scream. A giant moose face peered down at her. Antlers bumped the window creating the annoying tapping she’d heard as Ed tilted his head in what she could only describe as curiosity. “If you think I have more coffee, you’re wrong.” But of course the moose couldn’t hear her through the glass. “What do you want,Ed?”
When Laurel moved out, she was going to sleep for a straight week. Anyone who had half a brain wouldn’t dare disturb her. Ed included.
The moose didn’t leave, and the tapping didn’t stop. She threw aside the covers, giving up on sleep. She slipped on her robe, feeling Ed’s gaze following her around her basement-level bedroom.What does he want?With any luck, Dad might have some coffee brewing.
The kitchen was empty, but the coffee pot was full. She filled her cup and slipped out onto the back deck, unsurprised to find Ed loitering near her bedroom window. Maybe she imagined it, but she swore his ears perked at the cup in her hands. “I don’t have enough to share,” Laurel said, silently wondering if she was losing her marbles conversating with a moose. “It’s not as good as Black Bear, either.”
